Archive for November 6th, 2009
Nova monologue: Having it all
As a kid I was promised that, as long as I ‘work hard’, I can have it all. “There is no-one but yourself that can stop you from having it all in this world.”
Quite a few of my friends are dealing with the 30s birthday blues’, as one of them puts it. The nightmare where you believe that you are both nearing your goal and getting further from it all at the same time. “Damn I’m getting old and I have nothing to show for it… what am I doing with my life!”.
Really now.
I’ve had a very successful 30-something year old friend say this to me in her silent moments, time and time again and I never understood it. From my perspective, most people would have sacrificed themselves to have just a fraction of what she did. She had a successful career, had the opportunity to study abroad and collected various degrees. She met people from all walks of life and had the opportunity to live in foreign countries, all expenses paid. She was charismatic, intelligent and the life of the party. She was surrounded by family and friends who loved her. She was what people refer to as being blessed. Yet all of that was crushed by the not-so-old school belief that if you enter your 30s and are neither married nor have kids you are some sort of a hag. What’s up with that?
Though this may be especially applicable for women, I do not believe that men are immune to this madness. Focusing on your education and career may mean that your relationships and kids will have to take a back seat, or vice versa, regardless of gender.
What’s so fabulous about the 20s anyways? They may be considered the glory days but during these years we were so busy trying to figure out who the hell we were and what we wanted out of life that we had no opportunity to live in the moment. We were still in experiment mode. Most of us didn’t amassed large sums of money then to travel, and some of us were still living with our parents. We were busy obsessing over the things about ourselves that everyone believed made us, us. It’s only in our 30s and 40s we really realize that we ought to love ourself because it’s then that we see that things can really get worse… or sag.
Yet, just one day after trying to balance all the chaos of our 20s we begin to fall of the edge. What the what?
People with blossoming careers often lament their ‘unsuccessful’ relationships i.e. society’s view that everyone should have a spouse, a couple kids and the picket fence. Those who are in successful relationships (which are very difficult to come by) but don’t have their dream career lament their careers. Which begs the question, Can one person really have it all, at the same level, at any one point in their lives? And if one can, is this sustainable?
30s are fun. We start making our own paper, making our own strides, calling our own shots and accepting who we are.
Maybe the phrase “You can have it all” should be amended.
Maybe it is possible to have it all during the course of one’s life. Maybe it is possible to be fulfilled. Maybe you can have all that makes you happy. But, does being happy necessarily equate to ‘having it all’? Does ‘having it all lead to happiness? Or…Is having it all really that important?
I’m not convinced.
Maybe life is too dynamic to sustain ‘having it all’.
Does everyone require the same things to be considered successful? If not, then why is it necessary to judge each other based on what each does not have and not celebrate what each does. Maybe if we take the time to find out what success really means to others then we can be comfortable with what success means to us and enjoy the now. Maybe then we can be comfortable with celebrating our accomplishments.
What does success mean to you?
Related posts
Live your life
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Sexy State of Mind
Nova monologues: Screw Collector
Mood busters: Brillo pads
Health Tip: Taking Stock
We love ourselves some soup, especially when the temperature dips. Canned soup usually contains a high sodium (salt) content which is a good nutrition no no, especially when trying to lose weight or for health that is otherwise compromised. Making our own soup is a better idea, but canned stock also contains unreasonably high sodium levels. So what are we to do?
Bob, trainer on NBCs “The Biggest Loser”, suggests making stock by combining chopped onions, carrots and celery with boiling water, and boil for 20-30 minutes.
Add to your soup and season, if necessary, as necessary.
Mmmmm. Tasty!
Supernova
