Mood busters: Brillo pads


Wednesday, November 11th, 2009


 

The mood is set.

It’s Friday. Sally’s been sexting that guy for a couple days now and by golly yes, she’s gonna get some this weekend, whole weekend. She caught up on her laundry. *Sniff* Ahhhhh…” Crisp Linen” . She put aside that extra lacy number, the one that comes attached to the thigh-high fishnet stockings, parachuete style.

She cranks up the music and starts the two hour long mission that it takes to get herself together. She scrubs, bushwacks, tweezes, paints, flatirons, shimmerizes and glamourizes. Looking at herself in the mirror, she nods in agreement and strikes her fiercest ‘smize’ cause hot damn, as the David Guetta mix that’s blaring through her speakers raves, she’s a Sexy B!tch. She slips into her FMPs, walks through mists of some celebrity inspired cologne, clutch in one hand, BlackBerry and keys in the other, and she’s out the dizzoor. Money don’t matter tonight, no sir, Mama’s gonna get her some.

The night goes as exactly as she planned it, just call her the Master Creator. The fine piece of man meat is back at her apartment and it’s getting hot and steamy fast. Blame it on the blubbly. Clothes are stripped off and things get touchy feely. She thinks to herself “YYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!” hardly believing that it’s all coming together. 

That is until ” RRIIIIIIIIIIIIIPP”.  Her fishnets are scoured by brillo pads and she starts to bleed. 

Oh.My. God. Ugh. Crusty foot bottoms. Total mood buster. Oh, and ashy skin. 

Fellas, might I suggest some ‘M.E.‘ time.

‘Moisturize & Exfoliate’

All skin needs to be exfoliated and moisturized. The skin on your face as well as the skin on your body.

- A simple hand towel (changed at least once a week) or some body gloves with your shower gel used everyday will take care of body exfoliation.

- A simple foot file will take care of exfoliation on the soles of the feet 

- And a lotion/ cream/ oil (depending on how dry your skin is) will do it for sexy, healthy, nourished skin from neck to toe.

Yes, it is an extra step, but not only is there no algebra involved, noone in the pharmacy is going to look at you funny, so it can totally be done.

And guess what? BOTH of these issues can be rectified in the shower. No-one has to know that you are paying attention to yourself. How lucky are you! You can do it whenever you shower, no matter how many times you shower for the week, no-one’s judging.

So lets get started shall we?

1. First hit that pharmacy and get yourself some lotion and a foot file.
Every pharmacy has them in any colour and size that you can imagine. Pick whichever appeals to you. The ones with the handles are easiest to use.

2. Put them both in your shower stall

3. Exfoliate your heels
In the shower after you lather up, grab that spanking new foot file and take a good go at your heels with it.  

I suggest doing this after you have done the soapy soap so that your feet will get some time to soak and soften up before you go in for the kill.

There may be some ‘stuff’ well to work through, but easy truckin’…one day at a time. If you do a little every day, your job will be easier as there will be no build up. But I understand that you are super busy and this may be a stretch so  at least aim for twice a week, once the weekend and another sometime during the week. 

First half down

4. Lotion skin before leaving the shower.

After you turn off the shower and before you get out of the stall, wrap (not rub) the towel around your torso to absorb excess moisture and then  grab the bottle of lotion and lotion up. Yes lotion up while you are still misty. The bathroom is still foggy, you have that so fresh and so clean feeling, your skin is glistening… lotion it. 

Pay special attention to your feet, heels, elbows, rear and thighs, especially in the winter months because jeans can chafe something fierce on a rocket. 

Take some time, brush your teeth, cleanse & moisturize your skin or whatever else you do in there and then lightly towel off or wrap your sexy self the way only you do and step out like you own the joint. 

 

Whatever you do you choose to do next with that exfoliated and moisturized piece of meat that you call yourself is totally up to you.

Aoowww.

;)

.

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  1. Karen Francisco says:

    I was getting all into it– and nearly died wit laugh at the what the brillo pads actually were– I to have felt the feet of cheese graters– ugh! such a turn off! Men please heed this advice!!!

    [Reply]

  2. Dragon Reds says:

    love it.

    [Reply]

  3. Supernova says:

    Thanks Reds!

    [Reply]

  4. Supernova says:

    ‘cheese graters’, as you put it, are not the business. And, unlike personality flaws, it’s a really simple issue to address!

    [Reply]

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