Almost There

We’re almost there folks. 

2010. Man I’m getting… young. To think that just the other day we were being told that the world is going to come to an end when all the computers tried to make the transition from the 99s to the 00s. Haven’t we come a long way; Oh, to have those problems again.

Anywhos, back to the point at hand – 2010, the ‘New Year’

I wish for you:

- Health

- Peace

- Happiness

- Success, in whatever way you define it. 

- Renewed sense of self. This includes fashion sense.

Wow. 

Wow.

ok… Just wow.

Okay, I typed ‘fashion sense’ and my mind automatically shot to the scenery that I endured as part of this Merry Merry season. Didn’t plan this detour, but  hey, as I’m here already, might as well.

So far, I’ve had a blast. This holiday is kinda-sorta like none other for me before. Lots of fun, a couple firsts, a whole lot of love and some excitement here and there. The party scene was/ is totally off the chain here in el Caribe.

The Glamity Calamity was out in full force though, and it was certainly clear that some of my friends don’t read this blog. I mean… really now. But my momma taught me well, so I shall not call anybody out. See, you can lie in IM but real life has a way of exposing the truths. (PREACH!) Cause I’m sure these last few weeks we spoke about:

- Fish-scaled, silver, sequined leggings – DON’T, especially when worn under a very hairy matted

- FAUX FUR bolero jackets – DONT

- Harem pants – DON’T

- VPLs – DON’T

- Loud coloured liquid leggings with a ‘liquid’ tank top paired with a wide belt. – DON’T. There is no belt wide enough to cover a protruding paunch and a not quite right behind. Just… trying… too hard.

Leggings, leggings, leggings. They should not be the star of the show. Use them as accessories and you will never go wrong. 

If you are sporting any of the above, it is clear that you go out of your way to shop, so why not purchase something flattering. 

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This is not the catwalk folks. The semi-charmed kinda life that is the everyday isn’t so forgiving. Not everything that works on a sized 0-2, 6′ tall super normal being works on most of us.

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And guys. Wow. Come ooooon. I thought we went through this?

How many times a year does Christmas happen again? Not that Grown folk need a reason to up the ante on self presentation, but if ever there was an occasion, oh gorm… Christmas pretty much is up there, especially if you celebrate it. 

Like when you are going to this uber exclusive, $100+, all inclusive where Champagne and Johnny Walker Green Label are the ‘average’ drink, look a lil fresh nuh, and save yourself the embarrassment.

Like that associated with showing up to carpool with your friends to hit the dance, only to realise that you and ‘dem clearly not going to the same party. You see the chicks decked out head to toe papa-yo, one with some fierce purple, peep-toe, platform, fabric stilettos. De next one in a form fitting black & white number – hot to trot. De next one in an all black-everything sequined number, but you say… well “is girls, they always dress anyways”.

But is when the one guy who normally straggly and couldn’t care two hoots, walk out in a cripsy, white, french-cuffed shirt with seams that will make ya’ eye bleed if ya’ watch it too hard, a ‘nasty‘, black & white, pin-stripped trouser that fit just right, and a pair of black RL loafers …. **exhale*. Yes… We’ve reached.

So now you not even looking like dey chauffeur, cause he’d at LEAST have on a blazer.

How is that fair? You just put everyone in an awkward position because nobody really wants to rain on your parade when you ask “Ok I didn’t know that I had to ‘dress up’… should I change?”

What are they supposed to say?

‘YES-S-S-U-R!!!!” ?

I mean no-one wants to be late. So of course you will get the “Nah man… lets roll!” from the decked out guy who’s rolling with the 3 hot chicks – cause he knows very well that he will leave you one side.

So carpool now goes out the window, while you have to jump back in your car to go back home to dress appropriately.

You have to dress anyways, why not be ready for whatever the world throws at you? 

So we have a couple more days to get it together for 2009. Let’s make it count shall we?

Dress appropriately. 

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BMP Tip 5| 5 easy ways to look 10 years older

Lest you be found guilty by the Beauty & Makeup Police (BMP) while you try your very best to get your festive sexy on this holiday season, we thought it would be constructive of us to pin-point some of the biggest beauty/ makeup mistakes to avoid this ‘Holiday Glam’ season.

Here is the 5th simplest way to look 10 years older.

Bold Eye and lip colour

This only works on the runway and on 10 year old girls y’alls. Otherwise, it’s just too much going on aka ‘hot mess’.

Either:

- Dramatic eyes and nude lips, paired with blush that is present enough to balance the both. 

For bold eyes, stick to matted smokey colours, focusing shimmery highlights on browbone or on the inner corners of the eye. Alternatively, use shimmery accent eyeshadow colours to line/ add smokey definition to the eye.

All over eye glitter screams 80s.

Or:

- Bold lips paired with ‘Understated Glam’ eyes.

You don’t want to go too bland with the eyes when donning bold lips as you run the risk of looking lopsided, or at least like your makeup is unfinished. So, you can apply a shimmery neutral eyeshadow colour, a shade or so lighter than your natural skin colour, over your entire eyelid area, and then line your upper lash line with a statement liquid eyeliner in black, and you are good to go.

Alternatively you can do eyeshadow contouring for a smokey eyed look, but with neutral colours, opting for the smokey part in a brown or similar natural looking colour rather than black. Paired with eyelash extensions, this look can get you exactly where you need to go.

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Holiday Glam: Face Bling

Happy Merry

Wishing you a safe and festive holiday season.

Sincerely,

Glamity Calamity

BMP Tip 4 | 5 easy ways to look 10 years older

Matchy Matchy Makeup

Matching your makeup to your clothing is too predictable, leave that for the younger folks.

More sophisticated makeup looks work better for us Grown folk.

Work with a palette that incorporates variations of natural hues and opt for sophisticated glam.

Makeup doesn’t have to be fluorescent and glittery to make a statement.

Related GC Posts
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BMP Tip 3 | 5 easy ways to look 10 years older

Wearing foundation in the wrong undertone.

Take the time to figure out what the undertone of your skin is. Typically medium to darker skins have a yellow undertone and fair skins have a pink undertone. However, this may not hold true for everyone as Mediterranean skin can have an olive undertone.

Your skin undertone will establish the colour foundation that you should wear, as well as the hues of coloured cosmetics that will work effortlessly well for you – eyeshadows, cheek colour, as well as lip colour – sticks, glosses or stains as well as other things like clothing and hair colour.

Knowing your skin undertone, and choosing the right hues to compliment it, is a guaranteed way of looking your best self even on your worst day; regardless of whatever else is going on, your skin will always glow and your eyes will always sparkle because of the colour that surrounds them.

This also holds true for wearing too thick a layer of the right colour or wearing too much concealer on dark circles. Holy Concealer Batman!

For all my tanning and bronzing fiends, this also falls in this category. No-one is naturally orange. And as exciting as you’d like everyone to believe your life is, no-one’s gonna believe your fake bronzed look in the middle of the holiday season. There is a huge difference between naturally warming up the skin with cosmetics and artificial tanning. 

Work with the skin colour you were given. Keep it at a hundred and let your true self shine. If you wish to use the tanning creams to give you a hint of colour then do so, but lets not go overboard.

If you use a tanning bed, please stop. It’s not smart, you will only damage your skin.

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Grown Man’s Swag | Denim

Denim is the Western society’s go-to casual look, but with the ridiculous amount of variations out there, it is pretty easy to mess this look up. We also grow out of denim looks, so you run the risk of sabotaging yourself if you do not see to updating your denim to match your Grown ‘n Sexy State of Mind. 

We know things are rough money-wise, so no you don’t have to throw out your entire wardrobe. However, when next you decide to purchase a pair, here are some things to keep in mind.

1. Colour

The most flattering colours of denim are medium to dark shades.

Full black denim can be harsh 

Do: Straight Jeans

You are better off wearing a trouser, if you are going for a dressy look, or black denim with shades of grey, not white, for a worn in look. ‘Light’ black shades can look washed out; In this case a better option would be a dark grey instead.

Just remember, lighter colours make an area look fuller so unless you have a few pounds to spare on your bottom half, stick to darker, more muted colours.

Faded jeans are super casual and are the least slimming.

The fewer distressing details denim has, the more dressy the look is.
That said, denim itself is a casual look and should not be used to replace a trouser, and no matter how dressy you think the look is, denim should be avoided for Casual Friday work wear.

Gentle distressing details give denim a warm, comfortable look and can indicate that you are a man who is approachable and easy going yet put together. 

Strike a happy medium by going with gentle distressed details. Whiskers are for cats, so keep this look minimum – nothing that is more than a couple shades lighter than the bulk of the denim colour, works well. 

Dress dark denim down with short-sleeved, light-weight shirts or button ups, and dress up with a blazer.

2. Cut   

Straight styles/ DO

Denim should be fitted well.

The fabric itself is already bulky so do find your size. Fit. Fit. Fit.
‘Fit’ doesn’t mean tight by the way. By fit I mean, find your correct size. Denim stretches, and so choosing to wear denim even a size bigger than your natural size, can make you look sloppy.

At the same time, don’t choose something so tight that you cut your nature. It looks uncomfortable, and surely it must be. It’s a trendy look that some guys can definitely pull off, I will not lie, but Grown people wouldn’t take you or what you have to say seriously so avoid this look in professional or networking settings.

Straight cut styles are the most flattering.
Bootcut styles are not, unless you are wearing platform heeled shoes, as they would make you look shorter and curvier than you are. Unless these are the looks that you are going for, stay away. 

Super Skinny DON'T

Flare, baggy, and wide legged male styles should just be outlawed already, right along with the high-rise, male versions of ‘mom jeans’. They don’t flatter anyone, unless one is trying to make a comedic statement.

Unless you’re in entertainment, super skinny jeans on males is not a good look. And unless you have hips, never wear female jeans. Jeans, like sneakers, are constructed differently for males and females for specific, anatomical reasons. 

3. Style

Faded don't

Regardless of colour, distressed denim is the most casual denim look. 
Denim that is both distressed and faded is then both causal and trendy. Although there are situations where this denim combo can work, it should be left for the younger guys, guys who are just a little Grown.

No disrespect at all is meant here, by ‘little Grown’ I’m referring to guys in their their late twenties to early thirties, who can still get away with this look and not appear to be forcing the youth point. The further away you are from this age group, the more you should want to give the impression that you have your affairs in order.

Grown faded do

Try a fully faded look rather than partial fading
When choosing jeans in lighter shades, opt for ones without extra fading, and with no distressing, to bring a casual yet grown look. Pairing these types of jeans with lightweight, short-sleeved shirts or classic button up tees can help you balance the line between casual yet Grown swag. Pair with a sports jacket to achieve a dressier look, but remember that light coloured jeans will always be most casual.

4. Length

Male jeans should be long enough to have just about one or two crinkle folds in it when shoes are worn, see any of the above dos. If it falls fully flat by your feet when you stand then it’s too short; any more wrinkles and it’s too long.

Get your jeans tailored if necessary. As denim shrinks when laundered, ensure that you carry it to the tailor after laundering. If they originally came with a hem, you can request that the original hem be used.

Dressy short do

Please, no denim capris. 

It’s a very unflattering look as they cut you off abruptly and make you look shorter than you ought to be. If you wish to wear shorts, opt for Grown male, flat-front khakis instead, that cut at, or just below the knee.  Leave above the knee for boarder shorts. 

The colour is your personal choice, it’s the length, and cut that’s most important. The lighter the colour, or more patterned the fabric, the more casual it is.

Casual short do

Avoid flashy back pockets.

Reserve the bling for understated jewelry like watches, perhaps a statement belt buckle (no rhinestone designs please), and your winning white-toothed smile.

The bulkier your frame. the less voluminous your pockets should be also, i.e. pocket flaps and expanded cargo-like pocket styles and what not. The more distracting details on the shorts the more casual it appears.

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5. No denim shirts. Period.

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It’s amazing how much the sofistication ante ups when you keep it simple. 

Ladies feel free to weigh in on your pet peeves for men’s denim, guys feel free to agree to disagree.

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Dining | Manners maketh Man

Dining.

I take my dinner seriously. I love dressing up, donning my high heels and of course, I love me some food.

There is a lot that can be said about manners, not excluding manners at the dinner table, in and outside the home. Because, as we all know, what you practice at home is what you do in the road.

Dressing up and good vibes aside, inappropriate (or none at all) table manners really edge my teeth. Really, really. Cellphone use and abuse, clapping at the table (and not with your hands) are just some of my pet peeves.

So in the spirit of all the upcoming festivities, I thought it may help if I share my set of rules for eating out and basic table manners.

1. “Please”, “Thank you”  and “You are welcome”
These are not and  will never be out of style.  Be very generous with these, especially with the people who serve you – at dinner and in every day life. 

2. Keep your mouth closed

Once the piece of Sirloin has been placed into your mouth, no one needs to see it again. Mouths closed until the chewing is finished. No-one likes to be sprayed with spoken gravy.

3. Use ‘inside voices”

Keep your volume to a reasonable level.  Granny and Grampa celebrating their 50th birthday do not need to hear what naughty things you are going to do to your date.

4. Use the napkins provided

The napkins, usually located under the utensils, should be unfolded and placed on your lap, not tucked into your shirt/ blouse/ dress by your neck. They are used to catch any crumbs and for wiping up any spills, on or around your mouth or otherwise.

It’s okay if the napkin gets dirty, there are more for the other customers.

If you need to use the restroom, leave your napkin on your chair. It helps the server know that you will be back and it avoids the other people at your table looking at your soiled napkin when you place it on the table beside your plate.

5. Use the appropriate utensils

Use the knife and fork provided for eating. 

Depending on the restaurant, there may be a number of utensils that look the same. Usually the utensils are sized differently, but these days, with all these ‘contemporary’ restaurants (aka recession), that’s not for certain. Then there is an European layout and an American layout so it can get confusing (Usually, Europeans serve the salad last, Americans serve the salad first)

A general rule of thumb is to start with the utensils furthest away from the plate and move inward. For example if you have 2 forks to the left of you, start with the fork on the left for the salad/ appetizer and use the fork on right for the main meal or the entrée. The same goes for the knife, the right most knife is used for the appetizer and the left, innermost knife would be used for the main meal.

The butter knife doesn’t look like a regular knife – it’s small, relatively blunt, and is usually placed on the bread and butter plate to the LEFT of you. 

Any utensils placed above the plate are reserved for dessert. The soup spoon, looks like a ladle but smaller, is usually placed to the right of the knives and should be used for soups ONLY.

No eating your entire meal with the dessert spoon guys. If you are having difficulty with the knife and spoon try your best to get through the night and practice eating your meals at home with a knife and fork. As with everything else in life, practice makes you better.

6. Solids to the left, liquids to the right

All the glasses, including the water glass, the wine glass(es), coffee – any liquids, to the right of your plate are meant for you.

The smaller plate with the bread to the left of your dinner plate is yours. No more eating someone else’s bread.

7. Elbows off, shoes on

This is the cornerstone of good table manners. There was a reason that your parents kept insisting that you keep your elbows off the table. 

While we’re at it, good posture at the table is not only good for your spine, but makes you appear more alert and interested.

Keep your shoes on. Get comfortable yes, but not this comfortable. No matter how uncomfortable your shoes may be, as you thought that they were appropriate to wear to dinner, keep them on.

Guys, this also goes for belt buckles, leave them alone. If you eat so much that you feel the need to unbuckle it then please deal with that gluttony issue at another time. 

8. No Blackberry’s allowed

Or iPhone, or whatever other smartphone you treasure. I’m pretty sure that you are not running the world,  so it can’t be THAT serious, especially if you are rolling around with the 8300 model. It’s just an hour or so; it’s okay to keep your social life guessing. 

Parents, if necessary, while you are getting comfy at the table, politely explain to the other people at the table that your kids are at home and that you may have to take an urgent call if something comes up. When a real emergency comes up, you deal with it. End of story.

9. Tip

Unless expressly stated in the restaurant’s policy, it is good practice to tip. There is no moral obligation to tip, but at a restaurant the waiter provides a service that s/he believes is worthy of at least a 15% service charge. These people work hard guys. If the service isn’t up to par, tip at the lower end, but by all means if the service was spectacular tip generously. 

For restaurants, the tip is usually between 10-20%, so budget for this beforehand so there will be no excuses. If after seeing the menu, you work out in your head that you will not be able to afford the tip, then go to a cheaper restaurant. 

10. Be aware of your surroundings

Take in the environment of the restaurant, and have realistic expectations. The type of restaurant will generally indicate what type of behaviour is expected and what you should expect from the service.

For example, do not expect 4 star service from a Roadside Grill. Likewise understand that food served at high end restaurants takes time. So no grumbling about how long the food is taking after 15 minutes. Grab a kid’s menu and do a puzzle or two.

Be aware of the people around you. If you are sitting with your back to a walkway, for example, and you need to excuse yourself to the restroom, ensure that the walkway is clear before you excuse yourself from the table to avoid any potential accidents.

Carry your valuables with you if neccessary to avoid having to shut down the restaurant because you lost your phone.

Enjoy yourself, your surroundings, the food, and the company.

11. Treat your kids

Last but not least, do consider taking your kids to dinner from time to time so that they can learn dining etiquette from an early age. 

As they age, you will be thankful that you did, and eventually so will they. 

Forward ever.

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5 Simple Ways to Look 10 years older | BMP Tip 2

Lest you be found guilty by the Beauty & Makeup Police (BMP) while you try your very best to get your festive sexy on this holiday season, here is a second easy way to look 10 years older.

Wearing too much powder

Because it’s cakey and aging.

Packed on powder doesn’t stand up well to bright lights and flashing camera lights. Also if you have started to wrinkle or even if you have laugh lines, it’s just way too easy for the creasing lines to be more pronounced by wearing too much powder, as the powder will tend to break apart and crack in a sort of arid, desert lands steez.

Further to this, unless you are of a fair complexion, do not believe the hype that translucent powder matches ‘every’ skin color. It doesn’t.

There are over 6 billion of us here, if finding a similarity between all of us was as easy as translucent powder, then World Peace would not be an issue. Skin and skin tones, like human beings are way too complex for anything to be even remotely that simple.

Find powder in your skin tone, apply it over any foundation or concealer that you may be wearing and call that a day. Unless you’ve been sweating up a storm crunking in the club and have totally removed your makeup, use oil absorbing or blotting sheets to get rid of the shine, rather than apply more powder.

In a crunch? Those sanitary toilet seat ‘paper’ covers, grab one (a clean one) tear it in some manageable sized square-ish shapes and stash a few in your pocketbook.

They function in pretty much the same way as those commercial blotting sheets and work better than tissue, as they don’t leave any white residue behind.  This way you don’t look all spotted when the UV black light comes on in the club.

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Random music quote: Alicia Keys

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” No matter how hard the task may seem
Don’t give up our plans, don’t give up our dreams
No broken bridges will turn us around
Cause what we’re searchin’ for will soon be found…” 

- Almost There, Alicia Keys

Just one more day, we’re almost there…

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