Finding the strength to ride the hell out.
Friday, December 11th, 2009
Now we’re all smart people, or so we like to think, but sometimes I feel that the simplest things are usually the hardest to execute. Why would we stay in any kind of relationship where we don’t get anything positive out of it?
Now there are many types of relationships and it doesnt have to be a typical male/female relationship, it can be a best friend relationship or a co-worker type, or even a family relationship, but the main idea is that if you are constantly hurting then something is wrong and this needs to be addressed forthwith.
Ever notice that when you stub your toe, pain shoots up the side of your leg and it feels like a rabid dog ripped your foot off? The pain is the body’s way of telling you that there’s something severely wrong with the toe in question and this should be addressed at once, and we sit and rub said toe, and remove the offensive piece of furniture or turn on a light so we can see where we are going.
So how come it’s so easy to administer this kind of self love to our toes and the rest of our bodies but not when we are in a relationship that is causing all kinds of hurt. When our heart is hurting all the time because our parents, siblings, ‘significant’ others, or best friends are hurting us constantly, then this is the mind’s way of telling us that something is wrong in this relationship, and it’s time to turn on the proverbial light and see where we are going.
Ignoring it or putting a plaster over it is not going to make it go away. We have to want to stop the hurt, and the only way to do so is to start administering some serious self love.
For example, a perfect scenario is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, where nothing we do is right and we aren’t allowed to have any friendships outside of the other person, especially friends of the opposite sex. Or perhaps when our partner gets so upset that they smash the cupboard door in the bedroom, because we said something they ‘didn’t like’.
At the time it doesn’t seem like anything we can’t handle, and the pain of it all gets swept under the emotional mat. We only realize that it’s not healthy when it becomes a physical threat to our well being, and to our kids.
My point is, that we should listen to our inner instinct to love ourselves some more. We often get so wrapped up in how much we ‘love’ someone else, that we forgot that we are supposed to love US too. We ignore the signals that our hearts send us, and only when we think it’s going to harm our kids, do we then dig deep to find what it takes to escape with our kids in tow, never again to return…
The whole point of a relationship, between two or more people, is for both to be uplifted and enjoy each other. It’s not for one party to glean some sort of weird satisfaction in seeing the other hurt, so they can feel better about themselves.
Noone’s supposed to become an emotional punching bag.
No, it’s not ok for your mom to treat you like the village idiot, while favoring your ugly stepsister.
Your boyfriend isn’t supposed to treat you like a sex slave (i.e. against your will), or cordon you off from your friends. He isn’t supposed to spoil your Christmas party every year by arguing with you about things that make no sense at all…
What YOU get out of this relationship should come into question, and if that sounds a bit selfish well… there are bigger problems in life aren’t there?
Trust your instincts, listen to your heart and if you know it ain’t good for you – turn on a light and get the hell out.
Love your self – you are the only one of you that you have.
Forward ever…
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Sexy State of Mind