Self | Holding back the tears
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
I don’t like to cry. It makes me feel weak and out of control, and I have to tell ya, I love to be in control of what goes on around me.
Interestingly enough, I’ve read that tears actually contain stress hormones; if we don’t cry we can cause some damage to ourselves that may be irreversible. Heart attacks may ensue (especially in males) as a result of being unable to release emotion this way.
Normally this would not be an issue because crying is the body’s natural way of dealing with a release of emotions. However, complications develop as we have typically been conditioned to not cry.
I find myself telling my 7 year old not to cry, maybe for selfish reasons because it is very hard to bear watching her cry, or maybe because I feel that I need her to toughen up because this world isn’t easy.
“As children grow older, this aversion to crying becomes part of their ego. Parents should never stop their sons from crying, and should never make these kinds of statements.”
-Seema Hingorrany. Child psychologist
In fact most of us, male or female, are taught that its overly dramatic to cry, as crying is often seen as being either weak or manipulative.
Me, I always saw it as a dead end. I never knew the healing properties of crying. What I saw was the futileness of it all. I saw that even though I may have already expressed a need for something, crying did nothing to make things go faster, or make people want to help. For me, I would prefer to “save face” and bear it valiantly, rather than have anyone see that I had been pushed far enough past my emotional limit to start crying.
So I’m going to see how I can balance the two. but its going to be difficult.
This will require that I recondition my mind, and my heart. A wise old man once told me that, if not the world, I must at least let my daughter see that I too have feelings and emotions, and that it is okay to feel a little hurt sometimes.
It is this way that we can start reconditioning the minds of the young ones who have been de-sensitized to pain and suffering because we shield them from too much, or maybe from too little, but that is another story for another day.
So, for the sake of keeping it at least a little real, and living a well rounded healthy life, I’m gonna see if I can allow myself to cry from time to time.
If, in fact, by doing this I can also prolong my life, then ‘better fete’ and so be it.
Forward ever!
.
Works Consulted
The Possible Health Benefits of Crying – Helium
In Mumbia even the Big Boys Cry – DNA India
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