M'am, that is not a carry on.

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There are certain things in life that are just funny.

Not funny “ha ha” funny, more like “friggin’ hilarious” funny.

It gets even more funny when you know that you really cannot laugh because you will get a hard slap from the person next to you.

You know that you are travelling on a ‘island’ airline when:

1. The average passenger is dressed in head to toe ‘Cucci’.

2. At check in, at least one passenger complains to the airline official that s/he can’t understand why s/he paid so much for a ticket and can’t carry what s/he feels like. 

3. The airline official has to continually explain to passengers at the check in counter, that the carry-on bag cannot be the size of their oversized, check-in bag.

4. The pilot gives the cricket update to all the passengers on the plane… randomly during the flight.

5. The center isle in the cabin of the plane is a catwalk.

6. It’s not clear that all of the passengers are going to the same destination. A passenger wearing a tank top, shorts and flip flops is sitting next to the one in argyle arm warmers, stiletto thigh-high boots and a fur-lined, leather bomber, hoodie jacket.

7. The flight is always delayed because the flight attendants have to find space to store all the ‘extra’ carry on items, including crocus bags (recyclable bags made out of colourful plastic straw strips), duty free bags and other irregularly shaped ‘items’ that are clearly over regulation size.

8. At least one flight attendant has an accent that changes depending on the passenger s/he is conversing with, all of which are fake.

9. At least one passenger is bouffed/ barked at by a flight attendant and told to sit down and be quiet.

10. 5 inch, strappy stiletto heels qualify as ‘comfortable’ footwear for a day full of connecting flights.

11. The passengers clap when the flight lands successfully.

 

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There are tons more. Do you know of any?

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Parenting 101 (Pt. 2)

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The second segment of Parenting 101. Lets just dive into it shall we?

7. Don’t feel guilty

Crying is natural currency for kids. If they think they can get something just because they cried, you will have to deal with this mind blowing phenomenon for the rest of your life. 

Instead, once you know that kids are fed, clean and comfortable, let them cry. And cry and cry. And cry and cry. Once it is established that you will not be blackmailed into giving them jello for breakfast, they will discard this and follow behaviour that does get them what they want.

Babies cry to communicate, so of course, cuddle and cuddle. But If you are trying to teach a certain behaviour, like teaching them to sleep on their own, again, once they are fed, clean and comfortable, let them cry.

8. Be Honest

Be as honest as possible. The minute your child catches you in a lie then your creditability has done gone and left the building. How can you tell your child not to lie about who broke the plant pot when s/he thinks that you would?

This also applies to the passing of pets. Children ought be taught that death is a very natural part of life, and that Fluffy was old and in a lot of pain, and so she went to live with who or whatever helps you explain this as per your religious beliefs.

If you are disappointed with your child’s actions, say so. This is not to mean that you take them on a longwinded guilt trip, but let them know that the behaviour wasn’t acceptable.

9. Practice what you preach

Don’t expect them to follow rules that you have no intention to follow. If you would like them to learn to apologize, ensure that they see you do it as well. As kids, your children respect and look up to you. If they see that this is a behaviour that you find acceptable (because that’s what you practice) then the likelihood of them following suit will increase.

If you have made a mistake, own up to it and inform the child that you have done so.

Kids are smarter than we think; try covering up a mistake and your kid will understand that you are more flawed than you will like them to believe. They will also figure out that lying through your teeth is a-o-k and will not understand the fundamentals of morals and honesty.

 Children learn by the examples set for them.

10. Inform; Don’t negotiate.

Before taking your child out in public, inform the child what behaviour you expect from him/her. Don’t leave it up for discussion in the middle of the supermarket, while your child is throwing a tantrum on the floor.

Do not allow or reward deviant behaviour as this will signal to your child that it is a good idea to repeat such behaviour.

11. Spend time with your kids

It can be difficult in all the hustle and bustle, but take time to create ‘you and me’ time at least once a week. It could be a specific acitivity that you guys do together, it could be a hobby of your kid’s, sitting down to have a meal at least once a week or, going to dinner to bond as well as teach that good old dinner etiquette that we were talking about last week. 

Bonding with your kids is a very integral part of their growing process. It helps them to understand that even though you may have more than you can handle on your plate, that doesn’t mean that you do not care, or that you do not wish to understand what is going on with them.

Bonding with your kids provides a certain level of security that kids need. Also, if you meet with them regularly, your kids will find it easier to speak with you on challenges that they may be facing or even if they don’t tell you directly, you will be in a better position to notice when your child isn’t acting his/ her usual self and can stop a potentially dangerous situation from going out of control. 

12. Understand that kids are kids

Kids should be kids. Part of the growing process and becoming independent is for them to figure out what works and what doesn’t. That means that they will test your boundaries sometimes, which of course is an important reason to set some. If there is nothing to test they will go way across the border very quickly, with no-one watching.

We all love children and sometimes their cuteness is over whelming and you just want to spoil them. But if you do, then you  (and others) have to live with their spoilt ways.

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Forward ever…

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Random quote: Predator or Prey?

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“Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve.

Every morning a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be prey.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you better start running.”

- Open Solutions

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