Parenting 101 (Pt. 2)
Friday, January 8th, 2010
The second segment of Parenting 101. Lets just dive into it shall we?
7. Don’t feel guilty
Crying is natural currency for kids. If they think they can get something just because they cried, you will have to deal with this mind blowing phenomenon for the rest of your life.
Instead, once you know that kids are fed, clean and comfortable, let them cry. And cry and cry. And cry and cry. Once it is established that you will not be blackmailed into giving them jello for breakfast, they will discard this and follow behaviour that does get them what they want.
Babies cry to communicate, so of course, cuddle and cuddle. But If you are trying to teach a certain behaviour, like teaching them to sleep on their own, again, once they are fed, clean and comfortable, let them cry.
8. Be Honest
Be as honest as possible. The minute your child catches you in a lie then your creditability has done gone and left the building. How can you tell your child not to lie about who broke the plant pot when s/he thinks that you would?
This also applies to the passing of pets. Children ought be taught that death is a very natural part of life, and that Fluffy was old and in a lot of pain, and so she went to live with who or whatever helps you explain this as per your religious beliefs.
If you are disappointed with your child’s actions, say so. This is not to mean that you take them on a longwinded guilt trip, but let them know that the behaviour wasn’t acceptable.
9. Practice what you preach
Don’t expect them to follow rules that you have no intention to follow. If you would like them to learn to apologize, ensure that they see you do it as well. As kids, your children respect and look up to you. If they see that this is a behaviour that you find acceptable (because that’s what you practice) then the likelihood of them following suit will increase.
If you have made a mistake, own up to it and inform the child that you have done so.
Kids are smarter than we think; try covering up a mistake and your kid will understand that you are more flawed than you will like them to believe. They will also figure out that lying through your teeth is a-o-k and will not understand the fundamentals of morals and honesty.
Children learn by the examples set for them.
10. Inform; Don’t negotiate.
Before taking your child out in public, inform the child what behaviour you expect from him/her. Don’t leave it up for discussion in the middle of the supermarket, while your child is throwing a tantrum on the floor.
Do not allow or reward deviant behaviour as this will signal to your child that it is a good idea to repeat such behaviour.
11. Spend time with your kids
It can be difficult in all the hustle and bustle, but take time to create ‘you and me’ time at least once a week. It could be a specific acitivity that you guys do together, it could be a hobby of your kid’s, sitting down to have a meal at least once a week or, going to dinner to bond as well as teach that good old dinner etiquette that we were talking about last week.
Bonding with your kids is a very integral part of their growing process. It helps them to understand that even though you may have more than you can handle on your plate, that doesn’t mean that you do not care, or that you do not wish to understand what is going on with them.
Bonding with your kids provides a certain level of security that kids need. Also, if you meet with them regularly, your kids will find it easier to speak with you on challenges that they may be facing or even if they don’t tell you directly, you will be in a better position to notice when your child isn’t acting his/ her usual self and can stop a potentially dangerous situation from going out of control.
12. Understand that kids are kids
Kids should be kids. Part of the growing process and becoming independent is for them to figure out what works and what doesn’t. That means that they will test your boundaries sometimes, which of course is an important reason to set some. If there is nothing to test they will go way across the border very quickly, with no-one watching.
We all love children and sometimes their cuteness is over whelming and you just want to spoil them. But if you do, then you (and others) have to live with their spoilt ways.
.
Forward ever…
.
POSSIBLY RELATED GC POSTS
Parenting 101 (Pt. 1)
Dining | Manners maketh Man
Career | Email Etiquette
Career Tip: Online presence
Office Party Etiquette
Once again, incredible job.
[Reply]