Practice what you preach.

Birdy

There are some people, I’m sure we all know of at least one, who are always full of advice. Always.

Without fail, you can count on them to have some remedy, or to have the know-how to fix something or some situation. However, it is difficult for you, or anyone to take them seriously, because their own lives are hot messes, which leaves everyone silently wondering:

 ”Well, if you don’t take your own advice, why should I?”

Nothing is worse than having to hold a straight face in a social gathering when you hear your friend spout advice galore, especially when you have first hand knowledge that he/she does NOT EVER employ these gems into the crown that is his/her own life. 

Especially when it comes to relationship advice. There are these people who always know what YOU should do even though they are in a worse position than you are. Well if your advice is so great then why don’t you take it dammit?

I know a beautiful young woman, with a very bright future, who decided to saddle her self with a young *cough* gentleman. She continues to subject herself to countless embarrassments and heartaches – all in the name of ‘love’. I always found it hard to take her seriously when she complains of one travesty or the other, because it was inevitable that any advice that she received would go through one ear and out through the next, and she’d end up right at square one – a beautiful doormat that some random nonentity would constantly wipe his feet upon, pearls of wisdom thrown to the wayside.

Yet it never fails to intrigue me when I hear this same young lady sit and “counsel” her peers about the same things that I have spoken to her about since time began. She regurgitates it word for word, and I can see the other person listening intently to these stolen words, as if the she herself had gone through life’s struggles and knows that the worth of such advice came from application.

Advice is so much easier for one to absorb when one knows that the person who is giving it has used it themselves.

If you don’t practice what you preach, then you clearly don’t believe that there is any value to what you are saying, so why pass it on? You just look like you are throwing stones, while living comfortably in your glass house. 

Give advice when you’re practicing what you preach, and ask for advice when you are ready to receive it. 

Forward ever…

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Some mistakes in life are easier to correct than others…

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Happy Friday!

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Carnivalcoholic Anonymous

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My peoples, my peoples, I’m back. I’ve been MIA I know, but for good reason.

Ah chip down the road, an ah wine, on anything, until ah drop.

I even Palance in the Queens Park Savannah with the Queen Bey, but that is another story for another day.

Trinidad & Tobago Carnival was just about ten days ago, and now I just dont know what in the world to do with myself. I mean, after all the ‘palancing’, and the fétèing, and the shaking of my nether regions, and the feathers and glitter, and the general dont care-ishness , I find myself at a loose end. It’s all so abrupt; are we seriously expected to go back to normal now, like nothing ever happened?

PCD. Post Carnival Depression.

Of course, now it’s the Lenten season and so Soca being on full rotation on the nation’s airwaves is over. We have gone back to the ‘foreign’ music – a legacy  that has come down from the days of yore, the times when they took the Lenten season a lot more seriously that we do now, to the point where Soca was really more of a seasonal thing than a joyful staple, but thankfully these days we seem to be moving further and further away from that concept. Yesssssss.

But after the high of the Trinidad & Tobago Carnival season comes the big heroin-like crash and bang withdrawal. Yes you heard it : My Name is Superflygirl and I am a Carnivaloholic.

I literally mark time until August, when my bestest band launches it’s offering for the next year, and I have my people link me to get into the best sections, even after having played with them for going on 4 years. Mhmm… it’s that bad. I even have a ‘loyalty card’, a debit card of sorts for fétès thrown specifically by that particular band, that you charge with moolah and use at the event to pay for drinks and whatevers. Kinda sorta like a junkie having a credit line at his/ her local dealer. Ah meeeeeeeee dat!

Just talking about it is killing me. Murder, bloody murder!

However, I’ve found out that I am not the only one. Everyone seems to be walking around in a daze, not knowing what to do with themselves either. Lingering at the rumshops like the undercover alcoholics that they are, hanging outside the gyms but not actually going inside, sitting around on their porches and in their yards with a dazed look on their faces, going to the savannah but not running as they were two weeks prior…

I guess it is really over; We really do have to wait for a whole year for the two best days of our lives.

No more feathers, beads, stockings, and pee-pee trucks for a whole year. No more music trucks, no more furry boots, not a drop of anything, pure nadas.

Please excuse me while I take a moment to get myself together…

…

..

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I’m okay guys… I’m okay, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I suppose I will survive. *exhale*

So now I need to find something to do with myself. Maybe I will offer my services to the TTSPA. I hear they need some volunteers to teach the new puppies how to PALANCE!

Forward ever…

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Mystery Fabric

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There are certain things in life that aren’t cool. Mystery fabric is one of those things, pardon the intended pun.

In the same way that purchasing that ‘yummy gumberry’ fluorescent purple drink, the hot pink ‘strawberry sorbet’ body wash and lotion combo, or that face cream that can double as a cologne probably aren’t the best purchasing decisions we’ve made thus far in life, so is that fabric that consists of not one component that we can either spell or pronounce.

Why? One word.

Artificial.

Why subject your skin to more, unnecessary, man-made stress?

You can still be groovy without going to the disco ‘baby. You can now look fresh without feeling like you just either just came out of the shower or need one.

Choose the more sophisticated blends of fabric that are readily available these days to go with the new and improved, sophisticated you that you wanna be. 

Top reasons to pass on the mystery fabric:

1. The 80s are over

Like 2 decades now. Recognize. 

There are far more sophisticated blends of easy-to-pronounce material out there that can allow your to breathe a minute AND yawn/ bend at the same time. Really.

You no longer have to sacrifice one for the other, a happy (s)medium can be had.

2. It makes you sweat

Mystery fabric is synthetic. Man-made, i.e. it doesn’t exist in that form anywhere in nature. 

Which brings me to synthetic underwear – what the what?????

Walk into the average female ‘intimates’ store and you are bombarded with mystery fabric everywhere, while the guys are comfy, snugly and hygienically wrapped in breathable fabric, usually some cotton blend or the other. Which isn’t surprising, just look at everything else they don – from their shoes to everything else that falls under Grown man’s swag ‘n style, fashion wise. Even if it’s stepping over the borders of the trendy line, and looks slightly unapproachable even though it makes them look so damn Sexy, it’s still comfortable, breathable fabric.

Ladies, how do the privates breathe in woven plastic?

And then as if that wasn’t bad enough, mystery fabric thongs? Wowzers.

Seriously, a line must be drawn somewhere (the English language I tell you), for dare I say that females are in more dire need of free flowing oxygen in certain areas than are males.

Man. Just eww.

Cotton or cotton blend undies my friends; Get familiar.

3. It’s cheap

Not even inexpensive, it’s cheap. Literally.

It costs like half a cent to manufacture a warehouse full of it, and when worn it looks half as expensive.

Sure, we aren’t all high rollers, but we don’t have to be one to look like one. Dressing like one can start as soon one chooses breathable textiles over odour inducing ones.

Regardless of the price point, unless they are eyeglasses frames, wearing plastic is not flattering, period. So next time, and when in doubt, walk far, far away.

4. It ages you

If you were born anytime before 1980, this is not the social statement that you’d like to make, as I’m sure you already possess something else – dance moves, offspring, a certain area code for your cell number – which already does this quite well.

Don’t let your choice of fabric be another tell-tale sign. 

No matter how fancy it looks, resist the urge.

5. It’s an environmental danger

If you don’t care about you, at least think about the environment. This ‘fabric’ will outlive you by an infinite amount of years and it’s toxic leaks will probably end up in your great, great, great, grandchild’s waterways.

Okay maybe that’s a little dramatic, but seriously if the earth doesn’t want to touch it, why should you?

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Skin Therapy | Saving Face

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Gone are the days where skin treatments (facials) were luxury. These days it’s a requirement to maintain the Sexy. Depending on the depth of your pocket, there are quality treatments and products that are available to address your skin’s individual concern. 

The following tips can be used by both men and women, although, in all honesty, women are normally more concerned about aging, possibly because society sees wrinkles on a woman as ‘old’ = Not-so-Sexyand wrinkles on a man as ‘experienced’ = Super Smoking Hot.

Double standard? Sure but whatevs. It is what it is, so let’s deal with it accordingly.

1. Schedule Face Time

Gone are the days where skin treatments are a luxury, we live in a world with too much stress, environmental pollution and chemically altered food for that kind of irrational thinking.

We tend to our hair and nails at least once a month, we change our clothing with the seasons or trends, we (should) maintain our teeth regularly, so what’s up with neglecting our skin?  How many faces do we have again?

Monthly skin treatments are required not only to target our individual skin challenges (acne, darkening or hyper-pigmentation, environmentally sensitized skin, aging or prematurely aging skin etc.) but they can also help us maintain well-hydrated, smooth, supple skin, you know… that thing ‘they’ refer to as maintenance. 

Talk with your skin therapist about setting up a skin therapy schedule that complements your at home regimen. Don’t have have an at home regimen? No time like the present to start – the sooner the better.

2. Use the right ingredients

Anti-aging products are all the rage, but as we’ve already discussed, not all products are created equal, largely because not all ingredients are created equal.

There is no regulation as to what a product needs to contain in order to be labelled ‘anti-aging’, as a matter of fact in some cases it only takes a hydrating ingredient, synthetically made at that, for a manufacturer to refer to a product as ‘anti-aging’. After all, all it takes is an hydrating ingredient to, (albeit temporarily), ‘smoothen out fine lines and wrinkles’.

Dry, wrinkly, sorry looking hands? Wet them. They instantly look a lot healthier, but that doesn’t mean that anything has been altered does it? And so what happens when the water dries? Dry, wrinkly, sorry looking hands again.

In reality, an ‘anti-aging’ product should assist in speeding the cell turnover (shedding) of your skin, in order that new skin be revealed. It is this ‘new’ skin that is partly responsible for having a youthful glow, as the presence of dead skin cells can give a dulling effect to the skin.

Typically, skin cell turnover occurs every 28 days, but starts to slow down after the age of 25. That’s pretty young isn’t it? So after 25, the skin doesn’t refresh itself as often and therefore assisting the skin with this task is recommended.  

One way of doing this is to mechanically remove dead skin cells by the use of scrubs (mechanical exfoliation), but this can often be a harsh process and as a result is not recommended for use more than 2-3 times a week. Further, this is not recommended if your skin suffers from excess oil production or is acne prone, as it this rubbing action can stimulate already overactive sebaceous (oily) glands. So what do you do?

This is where ‘anti-aging’ ingredients come in.

Products that contain ingredients such as ‘Lactic Acid’, ‘Glycolic Acid’ or “Retinol’ help speed the skin cell turnover process by chemically nibbling away at these pesky, lingering, dead skin cells (chemical exfoliation) to reveal a fresh layer of skin, thereby reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and brightening darkened areas.

‘Salicylic Acid’ not only serves as a chemical exfoliation agent, but it also works well at drying up acne flares and blemishes, as well as keeps over productive sebaceous glands at bay, so it’s a good ingredient to look for if your skin concerns falls into this category.

These types of ingredients are especially beneficial, as skin gets exfoliated without the harsh rubbing action on the skin by scrubs (mechanical exfoliation). There are many products these days that contain these ingredients, some like cleansers, serums and moisturizers for example, contain a sufficient enough of these ingredients to facilitate exfoliation, but in a dose low enough so that they can be used every day – very effective for maintaing, smooth, healthy, glowing skin daily. 

Always consult with your skin therapist before you start an at-home chemical exfoliation regimen, to protect both your health and the health of your skin.

3. Deal with blemishes effectively

Proper management of blemishes and breakouts is key to maintaining good skin, especially with skin that is prone to pigmentation, like darker or Asian skins.

In these cases, prolonged inflammation and/ or infection in the skin leads to darkening which can take months to disappear if at all. Urrrrgggh.

Keep a salicylic acid containing, acne-fighting spot gel for example, on hand always to immediately deal with blemishes that may pop up, and use a clay-based (kaolin and bentonite clays are the best) masque, for 5-10 minutes, to effectively assist in drawing out impurities from clogged pores. 

If you are into guerrilla warfare, using a cotton tip, dab a bit of hydrogen peroxide** on the blemish to immediately kill any infection and follow up with same said clay-based masque as mentioned above.

**Hydrogen peroxide is highly drying to skin and can seriously alter the skin’s balance (pH levels), so using this over an extended area or prolonged period is NOT recommended. Instead follow alternate instructions above. But, for an emergency on a hot date night every now and then? Sure.

4. Use sunscreen

Over exposing the skin to the sun’s harmful UVA and UVB rays is the number one way to damage (read age) your skin, and sometimes irreparably so.

Be Smart. Incorporate a full spectrum sunscreen (one that protects against both UVA and UVB rays) into your daily skin care regimen – one that is either used alone or doubles as your daytime moisturizer. This simple activity can go a long way in preserving your youthfulness.

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What is your skin cancer risk?

Noone is immune to skin cancer. However some factors make some people more prone to skin cancer than others. Calculate your sun safety using the following guide:

Do you:

1. Have Blonde hair?

2. Have Light coloured eyes?

3. Freckle easily?

4. Burn before tan?

5. Have many moles in areas not normally exposed to the sun?

6. Experience/d blistering sunburns?

7. Live in a tropical climate?

8. Family history of skin cancer?

9. Work outdoors during the spring and/ or summer?

10. Spend a lot of recreation time outdoors?

Assign a value of 1 to each “YES” answer and then check the guide below.
 

Results:

7-10 – High Risk

4-6 – Medium Risk

1-3 – Low Risk

Of course, this is not a complete or absolute risk, as there are many other risk factors including age and gender.

Wear a broad spectrum sunscreen daily, one that protects against both UVA and UVB rays – a minimum SPF 15 on the face.

Always be aware of any new abnormal looking growths on skin particularly those parts that are exposed to the sun. Those who have a lifetime of sun exposure should be particularly vigilant. Make note of any unusual lesion(s) and/ or mole(s) and speak with your doctor/ dermatologist about it/ them.

Early detection is key.

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Career Tip | Quit like a Winner

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We all have varying personal fantasies of how we would really like to quit our jobs.

Go on a mass swearing or streaking rampage perhaps, or get all kindergarden and tell everyone and their momma how we REALLY feel about their quirky, annoying office habits.

Regardless, there is a lot that can be said about quitting with class. As the video below explains, the grass always seems greener on the other side, especially when we haven’t taken a proper stroll on it and realized that it’s actually Astroturf.

Yeah, been there done that.

Quitting with class not only helps you keep your dignity in tact but it also doesn’t condemn that bridge that you may have to cross again someday – the world is getting smaller by the minute.

Here are some tips on how to walk out a winner (with pants on).

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Just for laughs, what’s your job-quitting fantasy?

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Love, Hugs ‘n Plenty Kisses

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Timeless Valentine

As time goes by from year to year,
One thing is surely true, my dear;
Though decades come and decades go,
Just seeing you sets me aglow.

Time shifts my body; I start to sag,
When I pass a mirror, it can make me gag.
My joints all ache; I can hardly move;
Still a smile from you, and I’m in the groove.

Getting older can be a pain,
But with you along, I can’t complain.
Despite the things that we go through,
I know I’ll never stop loving you.

Your loving heart turns life to play,
As we laugh at time from day to day.
So I write this poem, and I’ll hang my sign,
Saying, “Always Be My Valentine.”

By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

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Can’t beat a love that lasts after the looks fade away and gravity sets in.  Hearts it.

Happy Valentines Day y’alls!

Glamity Calamity

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Go Canada, Go!

Winter Olympics 2010 - Vancouver

The Winter Olympics are being held in Vancouver, Canada from February 12 – 28, 2010 i.e. it starts today and will last a couple weeks. 

Gotta love frolicking in the ice cold.

Gooooo Canada!

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***Breaking news*** Our condolences go out to the family and friends of 21 year-old Nodar Kumaritashvili, who crashed on one of the most dangerous sections of the luge run earlier today, Feb 12, 2010.

Vid | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

Talk about getting your point across. The possibilities are endless when your man smells like a man. 

How so? check the vid below.

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Thanks Lise!

Ladies, there’s another idea for V-day, some appropriately scented stuff for your bmf.

It may not turn him into a multi-millionaire Rico Swave, but at least he’ll smell like one.

Have a ‘manly’ smelling day fellas.

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