Pick-me-up

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Finding the right pick up lines must be all kinds of baffling for guys because some can really screw up a perfect opportunity by doing or saying something insanely inappropriate.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, more than the phrase itself, the wrong delivery of the right intention can really tank a potentially good thing. Crash. And. Burn.

Guys, here are some tips for talking to/ asking out a lady stranger that you’re into, or perhaps one that you kinda-sorta-know-through-someone-else-but-not-really.

1. Go Standard

Don’t use ‘text’ talk. She’s neither going to understand you nor take you seriously. This applies largely to the women out there who are too busy with their daily responsibilities to be carrying on a conversation via text for the whole day.

As a result, don’t expect her to know all the acronyms and symbol combinations. Not to mention a sentence that appears to be a hodge podge mish mash of words, symbols and/ or numbers, in no particular order, doesn’t LOOK Sexy. 

Can’t spell standard English? Make a call.

And Facebook –  it has it’s time and it’s place. If you don’t know the lady in question, please don’t just send her a random message saying that you think she’s nice/ pretty/ <insert something shallow here>/ <insert something inappropriate here> followed up by a friend request. It’s a step up from sending a friend request on it’s own but it’s still not good enough to be acceptable. 

At least try to have a back and forth, aka a CONVERSATION, with her first and then move on to phase two of becoming ‘friends’. Why? ‘Cause doing otherwise it’s a tad stalkerish and a touch random, and that’s when you both have people in common. If you DON’T, then it’s just a ‘lot’ of the aforementioned. 

2. Channel Rico Suave

It’s all in the delivery, consider it a form of packaging. If is one thing that we have learnt within the past few years is this:

You can have the best thing in the world, if it doesn’t look right, no-one is going to want it. Alternatively, the worst, dumbest thing will fly off the shelf when appropriately packaged. 

1. If you are going to text or email a request:

TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK. THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO USE ALL CAPS FOR A SIMPLE REQUEST. A PROCLAMATION MAYBE, BUT NOT A REQUEST. USE ALL CAPS AND YOU WILL APPEAR TO BE SHOUTING OR TO BE, AT THE VERY LEAST, BORDERLINE ABUSIVE. AND…

2. Enough with the suspension dots…

Say what you mean…

and…

mean what you say…

and finish…

a complete thought…

all in one message will you?…

Thanks…

When/ if the relationship moves forward then maybe we can play tag.

3. Be simple

1. Regardless of what you’ve learnt from  TV, avoid using a cliche to say something that you want to get across on the real. 

“…i dnt tlk abt it, I b abt it… now wht i mean… ”

is not where it’s at. It’s also grammatically incorrect, and serves to only give the same reaction as #1. 

If you are going the comic route or for the ‘wow okay, that was weird’ reaction, then by all means, cliche away. 

2. Don’t reference body parts or bring Mothers (or Parents) into the mix; it’s a very awkward visual for us. 

5. Man up

It may work in your best interest to consider that lady friend of yours out to be a big deal, just so that you think about calling, or asking in person rather than via text.

If the lady in question just receives a random text/ message from you, it  can feel like an invasion of privacy for her when she is bombarded with the random request from an even more random individual.

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