Breakin’ it down | Real vs. Pseudo Alpha Males

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

We hear it all the time. The slim pickings that women have to choose from when it comes to men. I really don’t think it’s that complicated. In my view, men can be classified into three groupings:

1. Real Alpha Male (RAM):
Natural born leader, true gentleman, monogamous individual, treats ladies with the utmost respect, was brought up and not dragged up. Does not associate with PAMs (see below).

2. The Follower Male: Generally follows the lead of the Alpha Male.
Decent human being, in presence of Alpha will not disrespect Ladies at all. Has some ‘broughtupcy’ (raised to know how to be respectful).

3. Pseudo Alpha Male (PAM):
Displays the characteristics of an Alpha male by imitation, external trappings (clothes, shoes, cars etc.). Treats ladies with utmost disrespect and disdain. Views women as trophies. Plays on womens’ insecurities.

Enter the Woman:

Mature, intelligent professional.

For the purpose of this exercise we will assume that these women are in the majority, which they generally are.

Why do these ladies continually find themselves attracted to the third class men, and then moan and groan when they find themselves in a relationship which is not fulfilling? One where the man treats them like property, continuously belittles them, treats their friends with scant courtesy and runs their lives?

Hmmm. Let’s see.

My theory is that these women are attracted to the Pseudo Alpha Male (PAMs) simply because he has an edge, a vibe that can be easily mistaken by the female for Real Alpha Male (RAM) vibes, when in reality, it is all false.  It is what is also referred to as, the ‘bad boy vibe‘. Extrapolating this, we can thus see how women unfortunately fall prey to the ‘Bad Boy Syndrome’ or BBS, because it so closely resembles the real deal.

Some pointers for ladies to determine the difference between the PAM and the RAM:

  • The RAM does not call attention to himself
    People naturally gravitate towards him – male and female alike, whereas the PAM is constantly trying to garner attention by exhibiting himself in some form or fashion. Attitude, clothing, you name it.
  • The RAM does not try to ‘get into your pants’ when first interacting with you.
    He genuinely would like to know you better first, before moving forward. He has not automatically bedded all the women that he currently speaks with /has spoken to. The PAM wants the hookup, the notch on the belt, the trophy.
  • The RAM upon receiving your number, does not immediately call i.e. within 203 days, to suggest some intimate getaway between you two, and would rather a meet in a public setting e.g. bar or restaurant. The PAM can’t wait to get you in the sack. BEWARE!!!
  • The RAM generally has no time for A-holes or PAMs and will not be fraternizing with them, except for very brief, perfunctory greetings. The RAM associates easily with other RAMs, whereas the PAM is readily surrounded by A-holes or other PAMs. Keep the eyes open ladies and OBSERVE !
  • The RAM does not continue to force himself on you once it has been determined that friendship is your goal.
    The PAM can’t stop pushing and will not take any subtle hints

When in a relationship, identification is easier:

  • have no respect for your wants/needs
  • Cannot interact with BFFs, may even try to hit on them to hookup
  • Parents are totally against him, as they come equipped with special PAM detecting devices.


  • Considerate to your needs/wants
  • usually a hit with all your friends, even de’ ‘bad man’ ex. He completely defuses a potentially volatile scenario with talk and non threatening body language.
  • Parents are in love, if not careful you may find them monopolising all of his time.

In conclusion, I can say that it has been observed that RAMs can exhibit PAM-like behaviour after undergoing certain stimuli:

  1. A Horn’ from a now ex-girlfriend
  2. Bad Breakup

Fortunately this RAM will revert to normal behaviour after a few months.

Stay tuned for the female counter tomorrow.

Vox out.

Photo: Timeless Photography /

  1. Supernova says:

    Hmmm.. Vox boy, no wonder there are slim pickings. It would seem that, according to this, the ‘Real’ Alpha guy doesn’t exist… and the ‘Psuedo’ one is a donkey. Which leaves us to deal with the… Follower Male, who is evidently non-descript. Yep. That would explain the myriad of women’s woes regarding ‘zero’ choices entirely I think! :) ha.


    Vox Rationis Reply:

    I disagree, I do believe that there are in fact RAMs out there. It’s just that there are plenty more PAMs, So there is a problem for women to distinguish (from Hitch the Movie) “The forest through the sleaze”
    We here, We HERE…!!!! :-)


  2. supaflygirl says:

    hmm i got my own ideas on this one – but another day … seems to me society is being allowed to guide us one too many times…


  3. Vox Rationis says:

    Would the Real Alpha Males please stand up…!!!!


    Supernova Reply:

    Silence.. :) Are you standing?


    Vox Rationis Reply:

    Of course… :-)


  4. shells says:

    where are these real alpha males of which you speak?? I used to think I knew a few, but i;m beginning to doubt that such men ever existed…sigh!


    supaflygirl Reply:

    fictions of imagination i say… just like the fairytale prince – only exists in the mind of some doddering old woman who existed 5 million years ago…altho i most recently had the opportunity to meet a PAM in its rawest form… oh how he withered away to nothing when i stood up to him, i felt he was actually was forcing me to be his girlfriend. :( i MUST call him or i’m a selfish bi-atch, i must text him if i cant call – I am a swlfish person if i work and am to busy to call,,, sigh the tantrums of the PAMs are just too much…


  5. John Frankie Deleo says:

    Yeah, there’s a few RAM’s out there.


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