Archive for September 24th, 2010
Russian Roulette
Further to my previous post, “Breakin’ it down | Real vs. Pseudo Alpha Males” here’s my best take on the female equivalent, from the Posers to DIVAs, and all in between. Perhaps after this the ladies will appreciate the difficulties that eligible men encounter, in trying to find a suitable partner. If you disagree, I dare you to counter.
A synopsis of the previous article, I discussed the different types of males, determined that there were loosely three types; The Real Alpha Males (RAM), The Follower and the Pseudo Alpha Male (PAM), after which I concluded that the preferable male for the serious minded, mature, intelligent professional women was in fact the RAM.
So my classes of women that I’ve observed follow:
1. The Paper Dolls
- Can be seen ‘posing’ in the club in the latest gear including the inevitable blackberry, which she is using to text her BFFs who are also in the same party (Duh. Why?).
- Can be loosely defined, personality wise, as shallow and a pack follower.
- Has no independent thought, must go to the bathroom in packs of four or more. Usually younger females, aged 18-23. Not a very good prospect for a RAM, unless he wants all his business out in the road via BBM. Relationships, if they can be so defined, are very fleeting with these specimens.
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2. The Posers
Actually a hybrid of the Paper Dolls, and may have the same age overlap (18-26), they just tend to be a little more mature.
- Not as dependent on the BBM.
- Can operate under her own steam, but tends to use men as trophies – nice car, new threads, baddest phone, plenty bling – you get it. In short, she is attracted to only PAMs until she morphs further up the female ladder. After she morphs though, does a RAM really want to interact with her?
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3. Gold Diggers
The most difficult to identify of all the classes of females being discussed here, this specimen will appear to be genuine to the unsuspecting RAM.
- Appears not to have any BFFs (what woman do you know doesn’t have a BFF though?), can move on her own steam, and gives off the vibe of an independent woman. One example of this would be no ‘group’ bathroom breaks.
- She’s well mannered, put together to a tee, fashionable without a doubt, very chic, yet not over the top like De’ Bad Ting‘ (see below).
This is usually how she catches her prey. Deceipt, “come into my web, said the spider to the fly“, and then pounce. Before you know it the RAM will probably be down quite a few stacks in one fell swoop, then she will be onto the next victim.
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4. De Bad Ting’
Pressure with this one due to certain skills, or so I’ve been told. Skills that the ordinary female does not possess.
- Generally are not found in the bourgeois environment. Additionally, PAMs have been known to cultivate one or two in addition to their bourgeois PIM (professional, intelligent mature) women.
This female adds nothing to the RAM or PAM except for the purported ‘additional skills’ which are not in the scope of this article.
NB: Two (2) Bad Tings’ in one area, interacting with the same RAM or PAM will be cause for serious drama.
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5. The Jaggabat
De’ Bad Ting’ squared.
Boy if I have to explain that one for you, Wow. With that in mind, we’ll leave it as… “De’ Bad Ting squared”.
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6. The DIVA
All hail the Diva, “You shall kowtow before me. I am the centre of the universe – yours and mine. Begone before me“.
As said with that opening statement, you are expected to wait hand and foot on the Diva, her needs/wants supersede everyone else.
And finally…
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7. The Professional, Intelligent Mature Women (PIM)
Definitely the cream of the crop for the RAM, PAM and The Follower alike. She is independent and trusting. Read: No:
- “who she?” (How do you know her… again?)
- “wha’ she name?” (Why haven’t I heard her name before? You guys seem awfully chummy for her to be a newcomer)
- “why you talkin’ to she?” (I’m not understanding her relevance. Care to explain?)
These ladies are caring, friendly, and generally a complement to any RAM who is blessed to be in a relationship with her (if she is in a relationship with a PAM, that’s self destructive. See previous article.
So there you have it, a broad look of the many different versions of the female homo-sapien that can be covered in this very concise article. Count them, SEVEN (7) different types of ladies to interact with. Think that’s bad?
Let me complicate this even more.
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Males are generally set in their ways once a RAM, PAM or The Follower, always a RAM, PAM or The Follower. Women however, like the beautiful butterflies that they can be compared to, can morph into variations of the 7 different versions. Hybrids.
Do you see how difficult that can be for us men to deal with? We can actually encounter a female who is a Poser with DIVA tendencies….PRESSURE. Or what about a Paper Doll with a Gold Digger finish? My head hurts with all the combinations….ARRGH…!!!!
Here’s more, look at this scenario:
- Female A is a Poser she hookups with one or more PAMs, which causes her to become very jaded when looking at men in general. She morphs beautifully into a PIM. What chance does a RAM have in this situation? Does he have to pay for the misdeeds of the PAMs before him…? Is it his fault that PAMs are A-holes? See he’s starting, thru no fault of his own, last in the race. Tough break.
In closing, I would encourage women to not write-off (you know you do) guys who come up to talk to you, normally with no sexual connotations.
Sure, you may have no idea what type of man he may be (roughly 3 to pick from), but he has no clue whatsoever where on the female evolutionary cycle or what permutation/combination of the aforementioned cycle you may be at. Geeze. GIVE HIM A CHANCE. Talk to him first before you give him the X. He may be your RAM.
**Disclaimer**: Please note that any age groups proposed here for each female class are not hard and fast, they can vary. It is possible to have a 22 year old PIM, or a 30 year old Paper Doll.
Vox out.