The Season of Magic

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Dang. Can you believe it?

Another year is about to unwrap itself. Where did it all go? Funny that I ask this when I was praying halfway through 2010 for it to be over cause it was well tough when it was ready. Gooosh.

I love this time of the year though – Family. Friends. Food. Festivities. *exhale*

There should be a Christmas every month. However, as I type this there is still stuff yet that I must complete before tomorrow (25th) rolls around. Luckily for me, I’m about 3 hours behind most of my friends right now so, even though it’s me and the clock right now, it’s not exactly mission impossible.

There are lots of things I learned over the past year, at least 5 of which I hope to carry forward come 2011.

One thing I learned last year, that I will put into practice today is to not wrap the gifts from me and those from Santa in the same wrapping paper.

Obvious?

Absolutely.

Why it never occurred to me before I don’t know, but it’s just one of the million ways that I know that my son is smarter than I am. Luckily for me, he doesn’t read this… yet.

Here’s wishing you all a safe and happy Christmas. May the magic of the season be with you today, tomorrow, and always.

b Freakin’Fabulous

This Parang Mix is Freakin’Fabulous 2 | Ep. 16

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Bread and ham together with a pastelle, ginger beer, punch a creme and sorrel plus a glass of local wine…

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“Sweat rice” wha?

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Press play and take a sweet wine.

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DJ Kold Fusion for glamitycalamity.com

Bookings: bookings@koldasice.com

Dodging the Office Party Pitfalls

The Christmas Party. Or, if you work for one of those politically correct companies, the “Holiday” Party.

Obviously, you ought to go. This goes without saying.

Sure, you may be antisocial, you may despise your co-workers or you may rather count sheep than live though a convo with Frank from accounting, but it will do your career more harm than good if you just skip the shindig altogether. Why? Because not showing up for an office related event – be it a party, family day or someone’s horrid excuse for a ‘team building’ exercise – gives the impression that you aren’t interested in the company or your future there.

Now regarding any work related events, there are two things to always keep in mind:

1. No matter how far away from the office the venue is, remember that it’s still a work function.
2. Regardless how convincing the higher-ups seem to be about oh how it’s a time for everyone to kick off their shoes and let down their hair and just have a great time…. They’re lying.

The following are my top 8 things to avoid doing at your office party

8. One-upping your boss

You may be stronger/ faster/ better but keep that info to yourself.

This is not the time to speak about your stint in Milan as a model after being scouted in your first year in university when your boss responds to one of your co-worker’s brown-nosing comments about him looking dapper. Neither is this the time to share the fact that you and your fiance are heading to the Megeve Ski Resort in response to the fact that your boss’s “lean Christmas” is resulting in him opting for a staycation with his cat. And it’s definitely not the time to bring up the fact that you were the brains behind the newly implemented program that is has saved the company Xmillie amount of moolah this year.

Some other don’ts in this category:

• Don’t harp about how wonderful or wonderfully annoying your significant other is is – no-one, not limited to you boss, cares.
• Don’t start a chugging or eating contest… or any contest for that matter.
• Don’t brown-nose and/ or talk too much shop

If you are in line for a promotion, be sure to perhaps get your boss away from the melee for a minute and speak briefly on some of the ideas you have to implement strategies relating to a major upcoming project. Of course this should be done fairly early and pre-scotch, i.e. before the convo ends up going south a-la #5 below.

• And at all costs, don’t do…

7. The Elaine dance

A definite fail.

If you don’t know what this is, chances are you’ve already done it. Because it’s impossible to describe, here’s a video clip:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2cz0i

Under this we can include throwing down to any song that is decidedly inappropriate for the occasion. For example, displaying your best moves to Akon and Eminem’s “Smack That” and proclaming

“Man, this is my jaaaayyym!”

That may quite possibly be the last Holiday party the company will see both you and the DJ.

6. Hook up with a co-worker in the bathroom

Especially if you didn’t the the object of your urinal fling was all that and a bag of chips the day before, and/ or the person is more into you than you are into them. There will never be a good end to this scenario.

5. Have an ‘off-the-record’ convo with your boss after having had 2 shots of Patron

Though you may not remember the convo, chances are s/he will, and there will most definitely be an “on-the-record”  convo about it the morning after.

Under this we will include ‘smackin’ your boss’ @ss to aforementioned song, or smacking anyone for that matter lest a sexual harassment case slaps yours.

4. Bring your 2-minute old significant other to the party.

Though it may seem like a good idea at the time, this here can auger like a ticking time-bomb. You have no idea what to expect in the moment and chances are you’d either have to babysit the entire night, or have to deal with managing the after effects of him/ her displaying any of the above.

Although there are varying views regarding this, I’d go out on a limb here and say that unless you’re any combination of an executive/ married/ in line for a promotion and/ or/ therefore wish to avoid any compromising positions with that being from marketing who’s been getting a touch to friendly recently, keep business and personal private and leave your spouse out of it.

For those of us who flirt and/ or have lunch time DOOs with (a) co-worker(s), do your colleagues a favour and leave your ‘significant other’/ spouse home will ‘ya? Office parties are awkward enough, no need to bring the drama that will undoubtedly ensue.

3. Being the last one to leave.

Sure, you don’t get out often because of your work/ home responsibilities. And of course you wish to make the most of the $40 you paid the baby sitter to keep the kids overnight, but under no circumstance should you party the night away at your office shindig.

Show up on time [fashionably late never applies to work-related events] nurse a drink in one hand and make it across the room taking pit-stops at key points to ensure that your presence is noted. Then, just when the ties and the jackets start coming off, exit stage left and meet up with your real friends.

2. Calling in sick the day after because of your hangover

This is one of the biggest corporate no-nos. NEVER call in sick the day after:

• A company hosted event,
• A public holiday, or
• Your vacay.

I suppose the only thing worse would be being awakened by a tap on your shoulder by your boss… in your office, with your party hat on.

Find out what your company policy is on being hungover, being late – or not showing up at all – the day after the Holiday party. For most companies, it’s business as usual, no excuses.

1. Which all lead to the greatest office Holiday party DON’T ever:

Don’t get drunk.

Please enjoy responsibly.

Freakin’Fabulous

Related post: Office Party Ettiquette

2010 | Fall Favorites

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The 60s

Louis Vuitton

One of my fav things that happened this season, is the re-emergence of clothing designed for the average person, i.e. people with some sort of manner of three dimensional shape, rather than the 2D, if-you-turn-sideways-you-will-disappear ones.

Perhaps this was wildly influenced by Mad Men (wikked show), but whatever it was – Thank you and Amen. Everyone with curves, let me hear you roar for this is hourglass season. Slightly longer hems (below the knees), full circle  and curve-hugging silhouettes run the route. I wasn’t ever really good at history, science was more my thing, but I believe this is decidedly an early 60s trend, (not to be confused with the mod 60s)… could very well be late 50s. Either way….

1. Full skirts

(below-the-knee circle skirts) ala Betty Draper [Mad Men]

2. ‘Granny’ skirts

usually mid-calf, pleated or gathered with a flowing easy hemline, that falls rather than sticks out like those cotton candy skirts, much like Peggy Olsen [Mad Men]

Of course the #1 thing with pulling these two types of skirts off is to have a close fitting blouse. The last thing a curvy girl needs to be be voluminous on the top AND the bottom. You’d be 3D alright, but more cylinder than hourglass.

3. Sheath skirts and dresses.

Definitely Joan Holloway [Mad Men]. The ultimate in sophisticated femininity.

*Snap*

For those of us *cough* who find it difficult to get the sheath dress to fit just quite right, you can always try a wrap dress that looks like a sheath one.

or try a high-waisted pencil skirt. This also works this trend quite nicely.

For the more daring the peg-top skirt (full at the waist with pleats or darts, then it tapers narrowly down to the hem) is a good look. If you have a lot of ‘assets’ this may be a tricky look to pull off, largely because it never fits right. I’d say stick with the pencil.

Accessorize. Accessorize.

A costume is not complete without the fandangles.

If you are going to choose such statement looks, accessorize like you mean it.  This way you don’t look like you’re stuck in a time warp. Can’t carry a 60s vixen look with 90s contemporary trimmings. Come on now.

1. Kitten heels

The anti-FMP.

Was never really a fan but… I guess I understand their purpose. Shoes then were more functional and less glamour, as women actually walked very long distances to and from work with them, hence the lower heels like these Pradas:

My problem is that I walk horridly in them. Go figure. Throw me 6″ stilettos and I’m on easy street. Kitten heels and I will twist my ankle. Automatic. For some reason my brain mistakes them for flats.

Functionally fab, Givenchy and all.

2. Wide-waist cinching belts.

Every curvy girl ought to know that this is her longest standing bff by now.

3. “Sexy” Hair

i.e. confused.

“I’m neat, but I’m messy. I’m styled, but not really. I’m slick, but I’m pouffy.

It’s that way purposefully.

Don’t judge me.”

4. Red lips

Fire engine red specifically. Not everyone’s cup of coffee. Roger that.

You can update this look and make it yours by opting for any of the season’s various berries.

Cherry, plum, grape, blue… choose a bold berry that works for you. Just remember the darker the berry… the more stern the look. This is a high maintenance look so eat and drink with caution. For tips on applying/ wearing bold lip colour see post Lady in Bold.

Okay. So it may be obvious that the that’s my top look pick for the season. However other trends worthy of mentioning include:

The 70s

This look also combines high-waisted, wide-legged trousers and ‘blousey’ shirts with neckties. The Power struggle between masculine and feminine continues. Works well for a day/ office/ working-girl look.

Above, from left: Gianfranco Ferre, Akris, Salvatore Ferragamo, Balmain.

At nights? Lots and lots of shimmer and shine. Gold, lame, bold looks.

Leather

It’s Fall after all… leather can hardly be considered a trend as it’s always present in this season.

Head to toe leather? Definite overkill.Works best when you mix it in with other trends like…

Lace

A definite shoo-in for “Holiday Season” swag.

Before you reach for your grandmother’s lace, take a small time out. If you are thinking of the 90s all-over, stretch lace… wrong still. This lace has been updated, and normally it’s the ONLY layer. Yep, that’s what I said.

Ya girl Eva ‘Marcille’ at the Z100 Jingle Ball 2010 hits this one home in this number… with cut out shoes.

So… naturally this automatically eliminates some of us from rocking this trend, or at least it should…. Know your limits with respect to size…. and body tone.

For the more conservative, try pieces with sheer panels rather than a full sheer number. This can work too.

Cut outs

This was pretty big in Spring 2010, so I guess it wasn’t ready to leave. If you live in a country that has a pseudo winter go right ahead. I can hardly imagine this in my -30 degree weather. But more than clothing cut outs have extended itself to accessories, as well as shoes. Kinda reminds me of an updated colour block, but so long as you don’t wear a mustard and purple combo, you should be alright.

See the discussion of the cut out trend for Spring 2010 somewhere in this post Spring/ Summer Getups 2010.

Velvet

I’ve seen this one floating around, and I try not to pay too much attention to it.

Velvet is definitely one of those fabrics that you either love or despise. You either get it or don’t. It can be pretty masculine and/or overwhelming when worn, so ensure that your pieces are classic,  and well tailored, a la Halle Berry here in her September 2010 VOGUE spread.

And remember, velvet not velour.

In case you were wondering, a tracksuit doesn’t qualify as a ‘classic’ piece. Jenny left the block at least a decade ago.

The last trend worthy of mentioning…

Military

This comes back pretty frequently, perhaps because it never really leaves. Being a classic stiletto girl myself, I’ve never really paid this trend much attention BUT, I’m REALLY feeling it this year. Probably because they’re now military inspired rather than straight from the training camp. Less 18th century, more 20th century. More understated and functional, less… lashing-y. This goes for both male and female style.

Never got into the camouflage print, and I’m still not feeling it, sorry. Army green is the big colour for the military trend, but there’s also the navy option, which I’d opt for. A navy military jacket. Yum.

Another take on the military trend is the ‘Aviator’ inspiration, my fav largely because sleek, slim cuts work best for me than say… a cargo pant. Army green can have a tendency to make some of us look sallow. In this case we can go straight for the darker brown hues that are typically associated with the aviator trend – shearling lined, sleek leather jackets et al., much like the feature photo above. THESE ‘military’ takes I can do.

Talking about shearling, how about these fur babies?

Toundra Fur Boots | Louboutin

Sick.

But I digress.

Military boots. My word, military boots. It’s all about the laces. Male or female (high or low heeled) military boots are definitely the way to go. And after all, we aren’t REALLY going into combat are we guys? Right. No we aint. So less Caterpillar-esq and more…

All Saints Military-esq.

They look pretty fly on females too…

Not quite sure what Ms. Keri baby is promoting here, but…. the boots look nice.

Ladies if laces aren’t your thing, properly placed metal (less punk rock studs more biatch in charge) will suffice fabulously. Like these Alexander McQueens here.

Kick. Ass.

‘Must be a power thang.

b Freakin’Fabulous

This Parang Mix is Freakin’Fabulous | Ep. 15

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Ham. Pastelle. Punch a creme. Blackcake. Sorrel.

If they could gossip, this is what it would sound like.

Press play and cut a rug.

Track Listing

1. SCRUNTER – LEROY WHERE YOUR MOTHER GONE
2. KENNY J – HUSH YOUR MOUTH
3. BARON – IT’S CHRISTMAS AGAIN
4. SCRUNTER – MADAME JEFFERY
5. BARON – IT’S CHRISTMAS
6. DA SPIRITS – BLACK CAKE AND SORREL
7. EMILE STRAKER AND THE MERRYMEN  – DRINK AH RUM
8. KENNY J – DE PAINT BRUSH
9. BINDLEY B – SANTA LOOKING FOR A WIFE
10. TAXI – INDIAN PARANG CHICK
11. DESIGNER – I LOVE CHRISTMAS
12. SCRUNTER – DE PARANG NOW START
13. SCRUNTER – HOMEMADE WINE

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DJ Kold Fusion for glamitycalamity.com

Bookings: bookings@koldasice.com

If you do one thing for the Holidays…

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There are two types of people in this world. Those who fuss about the holidays, and those who don’t.

You know, the ones who stress themselves out about what everyone else will think, only to stress and bicker some more that the people who they were fretting for didn’t give a rat’s behind. Then there are those who live on the flip-side of this planet – the ones who don’t so much as buy a card for nobody, including moms.

If you do one thing to prepare for the holiday season, DETOX. Physically and mentally.

The festive season is usually a time of great excess, so prepare yourself for it in order that you don’t overindulge, over do, and over be, only to then be pressured into setting unrealistic goals for yourself. Goals of which you do not express loudly of course, because, nowadays, telling people that you’ve set ‘New Years resolutions’ for yourself is soooooo last decade. *Goooooosh*.

It’s all about the winging it, innit? Forget the goal setting, just freestyle the next 365 days of your life. Brilliant!

I digress.

The Holiday Season.

Excessive food.
Excessive conversation.
Excessive drinking.
Excessive spending.
Excessive skin teet.

Prepare your body and mind for it. Eliminate the the current build up of toxins, before you open up and indulge in new ones, so that come 01022011, you don’t feel chock full of bile and regret. Allow yourself enough psychological and physicial space to properly deal with excesses drama that don’t belong to you; the stuff that messes with your zen and makes your year start off with a *Pfffft* rather than a *How you like DEM apples!” kinda thing.

And while you are detoxing yourself, why not clean up your environment?

Schedule a Fall cleaning.

Declutter your space and make room for everything that you will and hope to receive in the new year.

SORT OUT YOUR *ISH.

Give the lightly used, clothing or otherwise, to charity, to someone you know, or to a family in need. For some of us, the unused stuff that you got on clearance because it was a ‘deal’, and paid no mind to the fact that it neither fits, nor compliments your shape nor anything else in your closet for that matter, also qualifies. Let’s face it, if you haven’t used it in a year, worse if you live in a climate that does NOT change for the entire year, then chances are you aren’t using it for a reason.

“Fabulous” fits and flatters. “Unfabulous” doesn’t.

Do yourself and the public at large a favour and give unfab away. Freely.

And while we’re getting busy with it…volunteer.

So you can’t buy something for everyone that you know is in need, but you can give of your time, your energy or perhaps of your experience. It is said the the less time that you spend focusing on yourself, the more you appreciate what and those that you have, especially when you spent your time with people who are less fortunate than you are.

Theory of relativity.

That’s like me stressing out yesterday about having lost my son’s bag, and his entire ‘LIFE’ along with it on the subway.

Stressful? Sure. I guess someone got an early Christmas. But when I think about the fact that I could have lost him???… well, losing a fun-filled knapsack ain’t so bad in the grand scheme of things. Go ahead and enjoy.

b Freakin’Fabulous.

Photo credits: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This ChristMix is Freakin’Fabulous | Ep. 14

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Mondays never sounded so good | Press play and cut a rug.

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Track listing

1. THE TEMPTATIONS – RUDOLF THE RED NOSED REINDEER
2. DESTINYS CHILD – 8 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
3. MUSIQ SOULCHILD – O CHRISTMAS TREE
4. DONNY HATHAWAY – THIS CHRISTMAS
5. LUTHER VANDROSS – THE MISTLETOE JAM
6. N’SYNC – MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPP HOLIDAYS
7. BOBBY HELMS – JINGLE BELL ROCK
8. JACKSON 5 – I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS
9. BRENDA LEE – ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE
10. DISNEY CHRISTMAS – FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
11. JACKSON 5 – SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
12. MARIAH CAREY – ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
13. LUTHER VANDROSS – I LISTEN TO THE BELLS

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DJ Kold Fusion for glamitycalamity.com

Bookings: bookings@koldasice.com