Dodging the Office Party Pitfalls
Wednesday, December 15th, 2010
The Christmas Party. Or, if you work for one of those politically correct companies, the “Holiday” Party.
Obviously, you ought to go. This goes without saying.
Sure, you may be antisocial, you may despise your co-workers or you may rather count sheep than live though a convo with Frank from accounting, but it will do your career more harm than good if you just skip the shindig altogether. Why? Because not showing up for an office related event – be it a party, family day or someone’s horrid excuse for a ‘team building’ exercise – gives the impression that you aren’t interested in the company or your future there.
Now regarding any work related events, there are two things to always keep in mind:
- No matter how far away from the office the venue is, remember that it’s still a work function.
- Regardless how convincing the higher-ups seem to be about oh how it’s a time for everyone to kick off their shoes and let down their hair and just have a great time…. They’re lying.
The following are my top 8 things to avoid doing at your office party
8. One-upping your boss
You may be stronger/ faster/ better but keep that info to yourself.
This is not the time to speak about your stint in Milan as a model after being scouted in your first year in university when your boss responds to one of your co-worker’s brown-nosing comments about him looking dapper. Neither is this the time to share the fact that you and your fiance are heading to the Megeve Ski Resort in response to the fact that your boss’s “lean Christmas” is resulting in him opting for a staycation with his cat. And it’s definitely not the time to bring up the fact that you were the brains behind the newly implemented program that is has saved the company Xmillie amount of moolah this year.
Some other don’ts in this category:
- Don’t harp about how wonderful or wonderfully annoying your significant other is is – no-one, not limited to you boss, cares.
- Don’t start a chugging or eating contest… or any contest for that matter.
- Don’t brown-nose and/ or talk too much shop
If you are in line for a promotion, be sure to perhaps get your boss away from the melee for a minute and speak briefly on some of the ideas you have to implement strategies relating to a major upcoming project. Of course this should be done fairly early and pre-scotch, i.e. before the convo ends up going south a-la #5 below.
- And at all costs, don’t do…
7. The Elaine dance
A definite fail.
If you don’t know what this is, chances are you’ve already done it. Because it’s impossible to describe, here’s a video clip:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2cz0i
Under this we can include throwing down to any song that is decidedly inappropriate for the occasion. For example, displaying your best moves to Akon and Eminem’s “Smack That” and proclaming
“Man, this is my jaaaayyym!”
That may quite possibly be the last Holiday party the company will see both you and the DJ.
6. Hook up with a co-worker in the bathroom
Especially if you didn’t the the object of your urinal fling was all that and a bag of chips the day before, and/ or the person is more into you than you are into them. There will never be a good end to this scenario.
5. Have an ‘off-the-record’ convo with your boss after having had 2 shots of Patron
Though you may not remember the convo, chances are s/he will, and there will most definitely be an “on-the-record” convo about it the morning after.
Under this we will include ‘smackin’ your boss’ @ss to aforementioned song, or smacking anyone for that matter lest a sexual harassment case slaps yours.
4. Bring your 2-minute old significant other to the party.
Though it may seem like a good idea at the time, this here can auger like a ticking time-bomb. You have no idea what to expect in the moment and chances are you’d either have to babysit the entire night, or have to deal with managing the after effects of him/ her displaying any of the above.
Although there are varying views regarding this, I’d go out on a limb here and say that unless you’re any combination of an executive/ married/ in line for a promotion and/ or/ therefore wish to avoid any compromising positions with that being from marketing who’s been getting a touch to friendly recently, keep business and personal private and leave your spouse out of it.
For those of us who flirt and/ or have lunch time DOOs with (a) co-worker(s), do your colleagues a favour and leave your ‘significant other’/ spouse home will ‘ya? Office parties are awkward enough, no need to bring the drama that will undoubtedly ensue.
3. Being the last one to leave.
Sure, you don’t get out often because of your work/ home responsibilities. And of course you wish to make the most of the $40 you paid the baby sitter to keep the kids overnight, but under no circumstance should you party the night away at your office shindig.
Show up on time [fashionably late never applies to work-related events] nurse a drink in one hand and make it across the room taking pit-stops at key points to ensure that your presence is noted. Then, just when the ties and the jackets start coming off, exit stage left and meet up with your real friends.
2. Calling in sick the day after because of your hangover
This is one of the biggest corporate no-nos. NEVER call in sick the day after:
- A company hosted event,
- A public holiday, or
- Your vacay.
I suppose the only thing worse would be being awakened by a tap on your shoulder by your boss… in your office, with your party hat on.
Find out what your company policy is on being hungover, being late – or not showing up at all – the day after the Holiday party. For most companies, it’s business as usual, no excuses.
1. Which all lead to the greatest office Holiday party DON’T ever:
Don’t get drunk.
Please enjoy responsibly.
Freakin’Fabulous
Related post: Office Party Ettiquette