GlamityCalamity

Alexander Graham Bell would be a proud papa, we’ve come along way with this phone ‘thang, baby.

One simple phone call can save lives, unite countries, warm hearts or break them mercilessly. SPLAT! All over the floor.

In most cases people feel a sense of security having a cell phone, after all ‘in the event of an emergency’, you got your technologically enhanced, electronic bff right in your pocket, that can do quite possibly every and anything you need it to, except perhaps have your babies.

Some argue that they don’t need a cell phone. Based perhaps on the simple fact that most of us have not and will never experience a life and death experience that will either warrant us to make such a call, or one where we will physically be able to make a call on our personal cell phone that will save our life. Their argument is that, if fact our lives were to be saved, it would be by someone or something else entirely. Debatable? Definitely, but I can see how this is still valid.

There are many reasons why people REALLY own cell phones. For example, people own cell phones because:

1. They can’t qualify for a land line
2. They can’t afford a land line
3. Their employers provided one
4. Their friends own one
5. Everyone owns one.
6. They wish to keep in touch with their friends and family
7. They wish to keep tabs on their friends and family
8. Their significant other requires all day access to them
9.  They wish to keep up with the Jones’ 
10. They have no time, to make time, to speak with real people, face to face.

Still, for the sake of argument if not logical reasoning, let us say that ‘personal security’ is the main reason to own one, although for some, scandal is as simple as misplacing said [wireless] device that is supposed to be used for ‘personal security’ reasons. 

Food for thought: The type (that combination of model and make) of cell phone a person purchases also appears to, in some way, be aligned to that person’s personality, ever noticed?

Much like with cars, shoes or clothing, even within the same brand of phone, themodel that the individual chooses or feels comfortable with may be able to answer many of the ’strange feeling’ questions that we may have regarding the individual but…

I digress.

The extent to which you use (read depend on) your mobile phone seems to be exponentially proportional to just how many bullets you sweat if it were ever to go missing. 

For some it would just be an inconvenience of unimaginable proportions because they weren’t smart enough to heed the various data backup warnings, for others it would be the end of their life as they know it –  their career, family and friends.

With so many reasons for owning a cell phone, I can’t help but ask:

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Some mistakes in life are easier to correct than others…

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Happy Friday!

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My peoples, my peoples, I’m back. I’ve been MIA I know, but for good reason. 

Ah chip down the road, an ah wine, on anything, until ah drop.

I even Palance in the Queens Park Savannah with the Queen Bey, but that is another story for another day.

Trinidad & Tobago Carnival was just about ten days ago, and now I just dont know what in the world to do with myself. I mean, after all the ‘palancing’, and the fétèing, and the shaking of my nether regions, and the feathers and glitter, and the general dont care-ishness , I find myself at a loose end. It’s all so abrupt; are we seriously expected to go back to normal now, like nothing ever happened?

PCD. Post Carnival Depression.

Of course, now it’s the Lenten season and so Soca being on full rotation on the nation’s airwaves is over. We have gone back to the ‘foreign’ music – a legacy  that has come down from the days of yore, the times when they took the Lenten season a lot more seriously that we do now, to the point where Soca was really more of a seasonal thing than a joyful staple, but thankfully these days we seem to be moving further and further away from that concept. Yesssssss.

But after the high of the Trinidad & Tobago Carnival season comes the big heroin-like crash and bang withdrawal. Yes you heard it : My Name is Superflygirl and I am a Carnivaloholic.

I literally mark time until August, when my bestest band launches it’s offering for the next year, and I have my people link me to get into the best sections, even after having played with them for going on 4 years. Mhmm… it’s that bad. I even have a ‘loyalty card’, a debit card of sorts for fétès thrown specifically by that particular band, that you charge with moolah and use at the event to pay for drinks and whatevers. Kinda sorta like a junkie having a credit line at his/ her local dealer. Ah meeeeeeeee dat!

Just talking about it is killing me. Murder, bloody murder!

However, I’ve found out that I am not the only one. Everyone seems to be walking around in a daze, not knowing what to do with themselves either. Lingering at the rumshops like the undercover alcoholics that they are, hanging outside the gyms but not actually going inside, sitting around on their porches and in their yards with a dazed look on their faces, going to the savannah but not running as they were two weeks prior…

I guess it is really over; We really do have to wait for a whole year for the two best days of our lives.

No more feathers, beads, stockings, and pee-pee trucks for a whole year. No more music trucks, no more furry boots, not a drop of anything, pure nadas.

Please excuse me while I take a moment to get myself together…

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I’m okay guys… I’m okay, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I suppose I will survive. *exhale*

So now I need to find something to do with myself. Maybe I will offer my services to the TTSPA. I hear they need some volunteers to teach the new puppies how to PALANCE!

Forward ever…

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Winter Olympics 2010 - Vancouver

The Winter Olympics are being held in Vancouver, Canada from February 12 – 28, 2010 i.e. it starts today and will last a couple weeks. 

Gotta love frolicking in the ice cold.

Gooooo Canada!

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***Breaking news*** Our condolences go out to the family and friends of 21 year-old Nodar Kumaritashvili, who crashed on one of the most dangerous sections of the luge run earlier today, Feb 12, 2010.

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I can make all sorts of jokes about the benefits of a whole, raw cucumber, but it’s not that kind of party today, at least not with this post. As it turns out the good ole’ cucumber can serve a lot of other purposes…

I was sent this information that was featured in The New York Times sometime late last year as part of their “Spotlight on the Home” series, that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

I haven’t tried them all yet, but maybe I’ll pick up a couple long, thick, firm ones and put them to a different type of use today

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber.  Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower?  Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds?  Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long.  The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool?  Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite.  Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache?  Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free.  Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge?  Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes?  Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge?  Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa?  Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints?  Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel?  Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake?  Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Chomp, chomp. Tasty!

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Thanks for looking out Gis!

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Times have changed.

With all the crazy nonsense that’s going on with people’s mental in this world today,  we can’t help but feel that at Carnival time these disasters can be magnified tenfold. With all the merriment and revelry, not to mention alcohol and the free feelings we really need to very vigilant.

Safety is the magic word here. With all the feathers and glitter, we can be lulled into a false feeling of invincibility and security. So with that in mind here are our tips for Carnival Safety.

1. Safety in numbers.

Play Mas with a friend or two. Or three or four.

The chances of some looney attacking a group of women are much lower than it is for one that is walking alone.

Any trips to the bathroom should be with one or more of the group. Stay with the band if you are playing and don’t go outside the ropes if you can help it. Designate a meeting place for stragglers of the group,  that way if anyone gets lost you all wouldn’t have to spend half the time looking for a stray friend. Walk with limited cash, and absolutely no valuables and try to do without that 18k gold necklace and engagement ring (explain to your husband/fiancé/boyfriend that its for your safety).

And that very valuable cellphone? Why not insert the sim card into another less valuable phone, just for that day/ event. If we must travel with it, let’s keep it close and only bring it out for emergencies, shall we?

2. Know your limit.

Ladies, in case you don’t know, there are sickos out there. This can of course apply to the men as well. People just aren’t the same anymore. Blame it on the trans fat. When we are having fun and we tend to imbibe more than we should, and somehow or other we can end up paying for it dearly. The after result can be as small as grave embarrassment to as large as deep regret. I’m no statistician but it appears that women tend to be more vulnerable than men to the adverse effects of alcohol abuse, in that women can achieve higher concentrations of alcohol levels in their blood and as a result become more impaired than men after drinking the same amount of alcohol.

Take note of how many drinks you have had before you lose control completely of your faculties. Not only does it look a hot mess as a young lady exercising her up-chuck reflex but also that’s no greater sign to a looney that you have lost all self-control and judgment. Hydrate yourself frequently and head off the over drunk vibes.

Walking around glued to your cell phone while you are talking to your best friend also compromises your ability to detect as well as your response time. Be vigilant at all times.

3. Park in a well-lit area

You see that nice spot in the back yard alley? It’s vacant for a reason, – everyone else is smart enough to know not to park there. Ensure that there is security around to guard your vehicle. Of course this doesn’t guarantee anything, but it’s got to be one step up from parking in that alleyway.

4. Don’t friend like you do on Facebook

Guard your privacy.

Not everyone who speaks who looks cute is your friend. In real life, good looks don’t guarantee strength of character. Don’t give out your number to strange people. This is not to say that you have to be rude, but there are other ways of contacting that person rather than giving out your phone number to random folks, an email address for example works just well. This way if someone does turn out to be less than stellar outside the glitz and glamour that is Trinidad Carnival, then you haven’t given them a direct part to your personal life via a house or cell phone number.

5. Protect yourself

We implore all persons to make their momma’s proud and carry themselves in a proper manner.

This is a time when between the combination of the sweet soca music, unlimited alcohol, gyrating hips, and over exposed skin gets to you, then on top of that the hunger and the wigglies hit you, all of a sudden, through the rum glasses that stranger looks really ‘hot’ and you want to get it in.

This is a time we throw caution to the wind but please; if you are going to engage in sexual behaviour, please protect yourself, in whatever way you choose.  AIDS is not the average STD; you can’t come back from that.

Prevention is better than waiting for a cure.

Forward ever…

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Having been to all these Carnival fetes, boy… there’s so much to say. Carnival is right around the corner yes, but ladies there is still time enough for some of us to redeem ourselves, especially in the style & fashion department.

Lord where do we start…

1. Dress to according to your size. 

Let’s face it, not everything is for everybody.

It’s carnival yes, but if we have to stomach one more unfit, non-entertainment female strutting about in short shorts, boobie poppers, fishnet stockings and stilettos we will call the fashion police. I mean what’s the goal here? It’s baffling that one has a full length mirror at home and can still manage to leave the house in nothing that flatters any one area of one’s body.

If your legs aren’t toned, fishnets have a tendency to make your legs look like stuffed sausage, just waiting for any reason to be released. If you must, try wearing the fishnets over leotards that match your skin exactly. That’s what the average performer does, but they’re entertainers, what’s your excuse?

Why not try some leggings, some fab shoes and a ‘just right’ top that flatters the girls, but yet covers the derriere and leaves a bit to the imagination. Butt cheeks encased in holey stockings is just not cool man. 

2. Dress according to your intended behaviour

Further to point #1, if you know you going to jump up and get on bad in de people fete, and you ain’t no ‘A’ bra cup then wearing your boobies barely restrained in slinky strappy tops that provide absolutely no support to manage the aggressive jumping movement is not cute. 

Even if are blessed with some perky, good-sized assets show them some appreciation and wear a bra if you intend to jump around like House of Pain. They will thank you as your skin ages.

And while we’re on the subject of bras, get ones that fit please. If you aren’t sure of your size walk into any store that sells them and get yourself measured. It’s free.

And, excuse the vernacular but ‘yuh see them strap on de bra them? That is fuh yuh to tighten the bra so that it fit yuh’. If you stand in the mirror and you see a couple of melons stretching towards your waist, this can be remedied by tightening the straps. But, you knew that … right?

3. Ease off the hair product

Greasy/ too much hair product/wet and drippy/gelled to a spiky health hazard/ are all no nos. Nuff said.

One blue devil spouting fire from his lips and you up in smoke.

4. Walk away from horizontally stripped lycra.

Horizontal stripes are only meant for the runway. The slim model types that we come across from day to day can also get away with them. If ever have ever used the word ‘curves’ or the phrase ‘lady lumps’ while referring to yourself – stay away. 

Anything other than an athletic/ boy shape needs to get over the idea of ever wearing horizontally stripped lycra, at least in public. ‘Coca-cola bottle shape’, ‘apple’, ‘pear’, ‘top heavy’, ‘bottom heavy’, however else you want to call whatever other shape there is, just stay very far away from horizontal stripes please.

5. Quit channeling Medusa

Dark/black lipliner and sheer lipstick went out with the garbage. Your liner should exactly match your lipstick and on top of that no matchy matchy eyeshadow to go with your get up. That is never a good idea. Where are the fire-breathing, mono-cycling, bowling pin juggling clowns?  You look like you are part of a circus troupe. 

For tips on Grown ‘n Sexy makeup applications see a whoooole set of tips here:

6. Wear your own clothes

That is to say wear clothes that you are comfortable with dammit, because I’m going to assume that you wouldn’t spend your own money on clothes that don’t fit and flatter you. Tugging at your painted on hems just draws unnecessary attention to your wanna-bee self. If it’s riding then let it ride. If you’re uncomfortable with the ride then change your clothes before you leave the house. It’s that simple; No-one is forcing you to wear it.

OOOOR you can be sensible and wear something that fits and flatters the shape that your mother gave you. For universally flattering style tips for women click here.

7. Cover your essentials

The only person that should be seeing your butt crack is no one.  This also goes for string thongs and panty-lines. If you put on some panties that are too small (hoping they will hold you in), and then put stretch skinny jeans or, Lord forbid, leggings over it – you end up with the VPL (visible panty line) sausage effect. Uuuuuggghhhhh! 

There is really no remedy for this other than wear your size. Please and thank you.

For tips on wearing leggings click here.

8. Use ‘fashion’ accessories

All the jewelry that you and your neighbor own belong in a saftey deposit box and not on your body at Carnival time. Don’t put yourself and others in danger by putting on the glitz and strutting yuh stuff in Panorama – you just begging for drama. Anyone can figure that out.

You can get into the embellishment trend by wearing glitzy accessories that are not only trendy and fashionable but will give you all the bling that you desire without all the drama of being robbed. For tips on hopping unto the embellishment trend click here.

Forward ever…

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Discuss.

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” It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others”

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Funny?

not really… well not when it’s YOUR life that they’re referring to, but I’m sure that we can all think of at least a handful of people who may fall into this category

So let’s make it happen. Today, start doing whatever it takes so that this is not your running script.

No better day like today, after all it’s the first day of the rest of your life!

Here’s to an awesome week!

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Being perceived as ’smart’ is definitely a blessing.

It also has it’s drawbacks.

Everyone expects that you do something ‘phenomenal’ with your life, at the very least become a doctor, a lawyer, some engineer of some sort. An accountant. A neurosurgeon. A rocket scientist.

Change the world in some magnificent boom bang way that will require you to give speeches where people introduce you and the alphabet that comes after your name, in some terrificly formal shindig setting.

So while you are conquering the world, doing and fulfilling everything that everyone else has dreamed for you, all you really want to do is sell rubber slippers and marinate by the beach.

Being a hero is great and all, but sometimes you just want to not think about anything, to not be responsible for saving the world. Maybe it’s a phase, maybe it’s not, still it doesn’t remove the fact that it’s a genuine feeling that you have. It’s quite possible that if you sit long enough, you can formulate the next best thing, but you just don’t wish to do it today. Not this year, and quite possibly, not for the rest of your life.

It’s not that you don’t wish to be successful or achieve something in life, you just wish to be free from the bondage of lofty, mismatched expectations for a quick second.

Interestingly enough, so many of my friends experience this feeling.

The civil engineer, who works in construction who’s dream is to one day own a kite surfing place, where he teaches people how to kite surf for the whole day, everyday. The master accountant, working in one of the biggest accounting firms in the world who wishes to be a photographer and have his own studio. The high profile lawyer who just wishes to write and maybe one day become a journalist, or the engineer who sells fuel oil to Europe who wishes to switch to an industry where the average starting salary is minimum wage.

Totally irrational isn’t it?

This world can be so competitive at times that parents can’t help but want the best for their children. It is especially difficult for ’smart’ kids who have the opportunity for higher education, an opportunity that maybe their parents didn’t have. So yeah, I totally get it.

In an age where it is more and more of a requirement to have a degree to even get through the door of a corporate interview, there is the added pressure of going to University to pursue… something, anything that will get you even a prayer of a ’stable’ future. It is not uncommon for some kids to be the first in their family to have the opportunity to attend University, so even then the pressure builds, and builds. The entire dreams of past generations are heaved upon a 13 year old:

“Son, what are you going to do with your life?”

Thing is, in a world that is so competitive, how can you NOT want the ‘best’ for your child?

Not that my kids will not go to University, eeerrr…. no. That’s not what I’m saying. If they want to do PhD in basket weaving even, they will get that paper, for it is not my intention to understate the value of an education. The aim isn’t to be necessarily disadvantaged, but just to take the path in life that closely matches your dreams and aspirations.

I’m just saying, the world is such a smaller place now, and there are so many niche markets. These are exciting times. You can do almost anything and be successful once you posses the passion (and talent!) for it.

It’s never too late to take some time, even if it’s part time or maybe once a week, to do or start that thing that you’ve always ‘dreamed’ of doing. Of course, it’s not necessarily going to be easy, but going after something that you are passionate about rarely is. I’ve found that though it may be difficult to balance the many, doing something that you enjoy can bring the sanity to the sensationally insane world that we live in.

In terms of kids, why not take an honest look at their natural talents.

- What are they good at?

- What do they enjoy?

- What would they like to try?

Let this be a starting point from which you formulate their lives rather than formulate it from the point of view of what you always wanted to do.

It’s not always this simple but it’s a start. Knowing and understanding the natural talents of our kids, make us better prepared to jump at the opportunity for them to pursue their purpose in life, whenever one may present itself. It may take us a while to find one, but at least we will be prepared.

This is not always an easy process, as often times we haven’t yet taken the time to do the same with ourselves.

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Success can be defined not so much by the amount of money we make, but by the quality of life that we experience. Success is subjective; Not everything is for everyone.

There is so much to be excited for in this life; so much to see, to experience, to do. People to meet, places to visit, things to do.

Do what you love. Love what you do.

Live life passionately.

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