GlamityCalamity

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For those of us who were too busy with our own lives to make it to the Spring fashion shows somewhere around the turn of Fall 2009, no worries I got your back.

Here’s a quick rundown of ‘they said’ that we must wear for Spring/ Summer 2010, i.e what you found a few people wearing at last years end, what you would find some people wearing about now, and what you would find most people wearing around Fall of 2010, when it would be duplicated enough times to reach the mass market distribution.

Gotta love the fashion cycle. Just when you think you’ve nailed it, there is someone out there thinking that you are way behind.

1. LUCITE 

R.J. Graziano Frosted Nugget Stretch Bracelet

Gotta love throw-backs. You can be ‘in style’ without having spent a cent.

Spring season’s hottest accessories are of the solid, plastic, transparent variety, (think Plexiglas). 

I remember when plastic jewelry was in style, not too long ago, but it was the coloured variety. Well, these aren’t those times. The season’s ‘plastics’ are transparent.

Clearly, (pardon the pun) these accessories aren’t for the wallflowers, and can be worn as jewelry, shoes (platform soles and heels), bags, you name it.

Shoes

Don’t know, when I think of plastic accessories my mind always goes back to those plastic, glitter-filled, platforms that little girls and certain Grown folk wear. Remember those?

Anyways, these aren’t those, and if you select your plastic-soled, platformed shoes wisely you would look the epitome of fashion. Don’t however, and you will look like those aforementioned Grown folk. Feast your eyes on these Fendi babies.

Fendi Spring 2010

The new breed of ladies called “Tigers” immediately come to mind.

Accessories

1. So that you don’t look too plastic, mix and match with metals

Lydell NYC Antiqued Gold Chain Necklace with Crystal and Lucite Drops

If plastic is just not your thing, some other jewelry trends are:

1. Bold jewelry.

Think bright/ striking and statement making, not necessarily large.

Trina Turk Goldtone/Enamel Bangle

Dannijo "Jaxson" Cuff

ABS by Allen Schwartz "Bora Bora" Turquoise Cuff Bracelet, 7.5"W

Rebecca Minkoff Double Zip Bracelet

Not a big fan of transparent plastic jewelry myself, perhaps because I’m far from transparent. So I’d have to say that this trend appeals to me more.

2. Petals seem to be big too. 

From earrings to bracelets, as big or as small as you like it. 

kate spade new york "Oops a Daisy" Ring

Juicy Couture Daisy Stone Adjustable Ring

kate spade new york "Garden Party" Floral Earrings

For the uber femmes among us.

2. STRIPES

Spring usually welcomes the sailor, and you know how we at GC here LOVE lycra stripes as a fashion choice for the general public *side eye*.

Spring stripes are all H-O-R-I-Z-O-N-T-A-L so proceed with caution. Though most are black/ blue  and white or some combination of two colours, you can show your personality by opting to rock multicoloured,  horizontal stripes. Do limit your other accessories when choosing the latter. 

Unstructured (read WIDE), shorter than usual (read about belly button level) tops seem to be in stores everywhere. WHY? I have no idea. My advice would be to stay very far away. 

So long as you know when, where, and what your personal style limitations are you should be alright though. 

My advice is, unless you are a size 2, stick to stripes as your first or second layer and not your last. That would mean to avoid striped trousers, leggings and anything that can be called outer wear. 

Tip: Wear horizontal stripes where you think you can afford to add volume, i.e. a striped tee or blouse if you aren’t the bustiest, or a striped skirt if you’ve got the slim legs or athletic build (minimal hips)

And unless you’ve been successfully hitting the gym religiously for at least the last year, avoid 100% lycra stripes, no matter how great they look on the mannequin. 

Some stripey looks

Kimberly Ovitz "Samuel" Striped Silk Wrap Dress

BCBGMAXAZRIA Striped Power Skirt

Tricky? Yes, but cute if you can pull it off. At this length, not for the office though, unless you have a different kind of ambition.

An alternative could be:

Alice + Olivia Striped High Waist Skirt with Belt

Much safer.

In addition to stripes, plaid and chambray also seem to be getting a lot of play. Stripey-ish I suppose. 

Personally, I don’t really see the purpose of a striped shirt that’s also a boyfriend cut (read no darts or shaping to it, pretty much a boy can wear it) for a female, even if it’s Burberry, but I suppose it’s a look, so I’ll mention it anyways.

Burberry Check Shirt

She looks as bored as this getup is. I feel ya’ girl, Next.

3. CUT OUTS

This cut out trend can be found anywhere from clothing to shoes, like oxfords; Wingtips, brogues and jazz shoes are all in this trend right now. 

Clothing

If you have assets that require maximum support, cut-outs that compromise the integrity of the fabric, and it’s ability to assist you with that support may not be the best idea. 

An alternative could be either:

1. Cut outs that are lined with sheer fabric 

2. Designs that give the appearance of cut outs, but do not affect the ability of the dress to provide support, like asymmetrical necklines or hemlines, i.e. no cuts happening within the bulk of the fabric itself, *cough* like right under the boobies.

Alice + Olivia "Twisted" Asymmetrical Dress with Pleat Detail

.. and okay maybe not THAT high of an incline, though slits are very popular now…

3. Colour-blocking. Two toned apparel that gives the same idea as the cut out trend, but keeps your skin to yourself. 

BCBGeneration Sateen Minidress with Cross Strap Detail

or this type of look can work as well:

Maria Bianca Nero Combo Dress with Crystal Embellishment

In addition to the obvious cut outs, ‘cold’ or  ’peek-a-boo’ shoulders as I like to call them, also seem to be pretty big, a safe alternative to the cut-out trend, either the classic cold shoulder or the updated ones.

For a classic ‘cold’ shoulder look:

Tadashi Shoji One Shoulder Mesh, Lace and Sequin Dress

This look also as the essence of the cut out trend, with updated colour blocking.

Or the ‘peek-a-boo’ trend:

American Retro "Radiohead" Lambskin Minidress

Updated ‘cold’ shoulder. Feel free to switch up the shoes.

Or of course you can always do Hervé:

Hervé Léger One Shoulder Dress with Beading

Hot.

So long as you’ve already organized your plan to keep the creditors off your back.

The other extreme end is also being seen, the super, duper, superhero strong shoulder look with the use of extensive shoulder padding. Wear with caution. 

Alternatively you can wear something that gives the ‘impression’ of strong shoulders like ruffled shoulders.

French Connection "Wendy" Ruffled Shoulder Dress

Much better I think, especially if you’ve already done the original 80s shoulder pads.

If you have issues with your arms, you might want to stay away from  these looks. 

Shoes

Belle by Sigerson Morrison Round Toe Cutout Oxfords

A fun alternative if you are into flats and ballet shoes.

4. SANDALS

Seems to be a hodge-podge, mish-mash of past styles for Spring 2010.

- Studs seem to be big, as well as ankle straps, in whichever heights you choose.

- After spending some years on the backburner, Wedges seem to be completing their comeback.

- And hope you guys didn’t throw out your gladiators from last year, and the year before… and the year before that, cause guess what? … they’re ‘back’. Surprise! They’re back, though not aaaaall over the pavement like they were last year. 

- Woven shoes and booties have a presence as well.

- Earthy accents like rope, raffia, jute, cork and natural wood are back  - typical spring.

- Platform sandals haven’t left us and aren’t going to leave us anytime soon apparently.

See some eye candy below.

Flat

 Embellished ankle strap

Elizabeth and James "Blair" Jeweled Thong

 Studs/gladiator-like

Via Spiga "Devon" Gladiator Sandals with Stones

Here’s that clear plastic again.

Stuart Weitzman "Blingy" Peeptoe Jelly Sandals

Wedges

Studs and wooden heels

Ash "Lovely" Studded Wedges

Tory Burch Grommet Wedge Suede Sandals

Gladiator-esq with embellishments

Sigerson Morrison Embroidered Wedge Sandals

Bottega Veneta

Giuseppe Zanotti Rhinestone T-Strap Wedges

ohhh.. how ladylike.

Or, my personal favorite the Stilleto

Bandages and woven trend take. 

Manolo Blahnik for Rachel Roy

Giuseppe Zanotti Studded High Heel Strappy Sandals

these babies…

Giuseppe Zanotti Spring 2010

And of course, platforms. Donatella was apparently inspired by ‘Alice in Wonderland’ for her collection:

Versace Spring 2010 Fantasy Land Shoes

I believe, my dear reader, what you’ve just experienced is called a ‘Shoegasm’.

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There’s a reason why I don’t watch TV anymore, but moms was talking to me about the Oscar Red Carpet and I decided to dust off the tube and see what statements were being made by everybody’s favorite people. I soon remembered just why I don’t watch TV anymore; Within 10 minutes (max) of watching the Red Carpet fashion I vowed to myself that I’d never eat again, ever. 

Anyways I woke up this morning and I’m back to myself again, breakfast and all.

So Oscar Red Carpet recap, what can we say, old school Hollywood glam kinda, sorta made an appearance. Almost everyone cleaned up pretty well, some took a little more time in the mirror than others. 

Congrats to all the winners. Special shout out to:

Katheryn Bigelow, director of the Iraq war thriller “The Hurt Locker,” for being the first woman to win an Oscar for best director. Pretty safe look, but when you’re holding two Oscars and just made history, who really cares.

Mo’nique girl, congrats. Best supporting actress for “Precious”, you’ve come a long way baby. Proud of you. Safe fashion look for Mo’nique, though the blue was outstanding on her skin. I have my reservations on flowers in the hair. 

Sandra Bullock,  named best actress for “The Blind Side”. It’s about time isn’t it Sandie? I’ve been watching you for a bit. But no, congrats. Well deserved. Her dress has been done before, but once you can rock it like it’s the first time it’s been worn? Go right ahead.

Now about the fashion. Enjoy the pics now before I need to take ‘em down.

Men

What can I say, it takes a lot of skill to screw up a tux. The secret? Get one that’s tailored to fit you, and seek styling assistance to find the right bow-tie/ slim neck tie (for the younger among you). Take a shower, and a shave and step out the building. End of story.

If you can’t at least decently rock a tux that was tailored to fit you, then there’s probably not much else that you can rock, period. Unfortunately for men, how hot you look in a tux has less to do with what/ who you are wearing and more to do with your level of sex appeal; It’s that simple. 

The usual suspects who can rock a tux were in fine form and fashion. George Clooney, Samuel L. Jackson, even Morgan Freeman, Ryan Renolds looked pretty dapper too. Tyler Perry did look quite slim in his Prada, and so did Gerald Butler. Oh my gaawwwd, the sexiness that is Lenny Kravitz. Can I get an amen. *Amen*

Lenny Kravitz

and now for a close up:

Lenny Kravitz

Noice. 

Tyler Perry

Sleek look. The bow-tie is a bit on the large side, Maybe Lenny can give him some tips, or perhaps Anthony Mackie can. Congrats to him on the ‘Best Picture” Oscar btw. 

Anthony Mackie

I see Keanu Reeves and his Matrix steeze was there, nice sleek look. In my opinion he could have eaten something, not much, perhaps half a sandwich would have done it. I understand where he was trying to go with the stubble look, but it was a bit more than 5 0′clock shadow.

Keanu Reeves

perhaps he can take a few tips on how to successfully pull this off from Jake Gyllenhaal.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Gerard Butler

What do you guys think, No-carb diet or male spanks?

Dapper none the less Mr. Butler. The secret can be all yours. 

Robert Downey Jr. and wife Susan Downey

Groovy baby’. I guess it’s a comedian thing.

But all in all, the men were a pleasure to look at. Oh Zac Efron needs to lay off the Body (at least the Face) Bronzer.

Women

A totally different ball game (or gown.. ha). You could be pretty as peach but the wrong dress you can crash and burn with the quickness.

Most of the women were lovely, some pushed the envelope a little too far and some just enough. Some played it safe, but especially when it’s their first time on the carpet, you can’t blame them.

Some trends that I noticed on the Red Carpet were:

Hair

1. Long flowing wavy hair, draped over one shoulder

ala Cameron Diaz and… Pretty. Glamourous.

 2. Messy buns. 

Only these were teased and hair-sprayed from all the hairline messy, ala Sarah Jessica Parker. What was that?

Sarah Jessica Parker

Too haaaaard, too haaaaard, too haaaaard, too haaaaaard to pull that off I think. Jenny from the block had the same sort of hairline going but 1. she’s has at least 5lbs more meat on her and 2. her Armani Prive gown was an absolute stunner, so what if it looked like bubble wrap. 

Which brings me to:

Gowns:

1. 3D

Perhaps as an ode to Avatar? Yes, there were the usual princess poof dresses, but more than that there were quite a few dresses with lots of structure and craftsmanship emanating from the gowns, costume style. Exciting times for fashion. 

Vera Farmiga in Marquesa, debatable, but I thought the concept and colour was great. This could be one of those situations where the dress may have outworn the wearer… maybe? Anyways next. 

Vera Farmiga

2. Neutrals

Champagnes, rose whites, greys. Elizabeth Banks – gorgeous dress, not normally the colour you’d find on a red carpet but a great look on her none the less.

Elizabeth Banks

And how old is Demi Moore? Sure she’s had a few nips and tucks, but even though she looks better than most girls 1/4 her age, she still chose to keep it simple yet sophisticated and let her presence speak through her dress instead of her body. We can all learn a thing or two from this.

Demi Moore

Lesson: Just cause you have it doesn’t mean that you need to flaunt it. 

3. Cold Shoulders & Embellishments

Tina Fey in Micheal Kors for example. It was a good look, for her. 

Tina Fey

Lots of strapless gowns too, ala Jenny from the block again, Kate Winslet, Penelope Cruz (loved her in that gown), Cameron Diaz, Amanda Seyfried , Mariska Hargitay, Anika Noni Rose, Zoe Saldana, Gabourey Sidibe (kinda ish)… plenty, plenty, people. 

Jenny from the Block

Kate Winslet

Anna Kendrick

Anika Noni Rose

Cameron Diaz

Gabourey Sidibe

Penelope Cruz

Zoe Kravitz

How beautiful is Zoe Kravitz?

Zoe Saldana rocked something different. 

Zoe Saldana

Beautiful woman, beautiful gown. I have a feeling this one one of the gowns that people will either love or hate though. It takes some getting used to.

There are a few gowns that were a bit iffy. Among them I’d have to say Charlize Theron and Queen Latifa share a similar issue for me as I’m just not a fan of gowns that crease easily and don’t appear to move. Still Queen Latifa’s gown has less issues than Charlize’s. Diane Kruger also left me with a lingering question mark and Paula Patton, beautiful woman, I just thought the dress was a bit mature for her. 

Charlize Theron

This is all kinds of inexcusable for Charlize. And with the red lipstick? Dudette, where’s your stylist?

Queen Latifah

Other than all the creases, it’s a good colour choice for the Queen. It’s not soooo bad.

Diane Kruger

Don’t know what it is, but it just reminds me of a sheep.

Paula Patton

Awesome colour on her skin. Beautiful woman, I just think it may be a bit too mature for her. She’s normally pretty on point and fun with her gown choices.

Okay. That’s enough looking at beautiful people for me in one day.

Back to work I go.

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There are certain things in life that aren’t cool. Mystery fabric is one of those things, pardon the intended pun.

In the same way that purchasing that ‘yummy gumberry’ fluorescent purple drink, the hot pink ’strawberry sorbet’ body wash and lotion combo, or that face cream that can double as a cologne probably aren’t the best purchasing decisions we’ve made thus far in life, so is that fabric that consists of not one component that we can either spell or pronounce.

Why? One word.

Artificial.

Why subject your skin to more, unnecessary, man-made stress?

You can still be groovy without going to the disco ‘baby. You can now look fresh without feeling like you just either just came out of the shower or need one.

Choose the more sophisticated blends of fabric that are readily available these days to go with the new and improved, sophisticated you that you wanna be. 

Top reasons to pass on the mystery fabric:

1. The 80s are over

Like 2 decades now. Recognize. 

There are far more sophisticated blends of easy-to-pronounce material out there that can allow your to breathe a minute AND yawn/ bend at the same time. Really.

You no longer have to sacrifice one for the other, a happy (s)medium can be had.

2. It makes you sweat

Mystery fabric is synthetic. Man-made, i.e. it doesn’t exist in that form anywhere in nature. 

Which brings me to synthetic underwear – what the what?????

Walk into the average female ‘intimates’ store and you are bombarded with mystery fabric everywhere, while the guys are comfy, snugly and hygienically wrapped in breathable fabric, usually some cotton blend or the other. Which isn’t surprising, just look at everything else they don – from their shoes to everything else that falls under Grown man’s swag ‘n style, fashion wise. Even if it’s stepping over the borders of the trendy line, and looks slightly unapproachable even though it makes them look so damn Sexy, it’s still comfortable, breathable fabric.

Ladies, how do the privates breathe in woven plastic?

And then as if that wasn’t bad enough, mystery fabric thongs? Wowzers.

Seriously, a line must be drawn somewhere (the English language I tell you), for dare I say that females are in more dire need of free flowing oxygen in certain areas than are males.

Man. Just eww.

Cotton or cotton blend undies my friends; Get familiar.

3. It’s cheap

Not even inexpensive, it’s cheap. Literally.

It costs like half a cent to manufacture a warehouse full of it, and when worn it looks half as expensive.

Sure, we aren’t all high rollers, but we don’t have to be one to look like one. Dressing like one can start as soon one chooses breathable textiles over odour inducing ones.

Regardless of the price point, unless they are eyeglasses frames, wearing plastic is not flattering, period. So next time, and when in doubt, walk far, far away.

4. It ages you

If you were born anytime before 1980, this is not the social statement that you’d like to make, as I’m sure you already possess something else – dance moves, offspring, a certain area code for your cell number – which already does this quite well.

Don’t let your choice of fabric be another tell-tale sign. 

No matter how fancy it looks, resist the urge.

5. It’s an environmental danger

If you don’t care about you, at least think about the environment. This ‘fabric’ will outlive you by an infinite amount of years and it’s toxic leaks will probably end up in your great, great, great, grandchild’s waterways.

Okay maybe that’s a little dramatic, but seriously if the earth doesn’t want to touch it, why should you?

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Having been to all these Carnival fetes, boy… there’s so much to say. Carnival is right around the corner yes, but ladies there is still time enough for some of us to redeem ourselves, especially in the style & fashion department.

Lord where do we start…

1. Dress to according to your size. 

Let’s face it, not everything is for everybody.

It’s carnival yes, but if we have to stomach one more unfit, non-entertainment female strutting about in short shorts, boobie poppers, fishnet stockings and stilettos we will call the fashion police. I mean what’s the goal here? It’s baffling that one has a full length mirror at home and can still manage to leave the house in nothing that flatters any one area of one’s body.

If your legs aren’t toned, fishnets have a tendency to make your legs look like stuffed sausage, just waiting for any reason to be released. If you must, try wearing the fishnets over leotards that match your skin exactly. That’s what the average performer does, but they’re entertainers, what’s your excuse?

Why not try some leggings, some fab shoes and a ‘just right’ top that flatters the girls, but yet covers the derriere and leaves a bit to the imagination. Butt cheeks encased in holey stockings is just not cool man. 

2. Dress according to your intended behaviour

Further to point #1, if you know you going to jump up and get on bad in de people fete, and you ain’t no ‘A’ bra cup then wearing your boobies barely restrained in slinky strappy tops that provide absolutely no support to manage the aggressive jumping movement is not cute. 

Even if are blessed with some perky, good-sized assets show them some appreciation and wear a bra if you intend to jump around like House of Pain. They will thank you as your skin ages.

And while we’re on the subject of bras, get ones that fit please. If you aren’t sure of your size walk into any store that sells them and get yourself measured. It’s free.

And, excuse the vernacular but ‘yuh see them strap on de bra them? That is fuh yuh to tighten the bra so that it fit yuh’. If you stand in the mirror and you see a couple of melons stretching towards your waist, this can be remedied by tightening the straps. But, you knew that … right?

3. Ease off the hair product

Greasy/ too much hair product/wet and drippy/gelled to a spiky health hazard/ are all no nos. Nuff said.

One blue devil spouting fire from his lips and you up in smoke.

4. Walk away from horizontally stripped lycra.

Horizontal stripes are only meant for the runway. The slim model types that we come across from day to day can also get away with them. If ever have ever used the word ‘curves’ or the phrase ‘lady lumps’ while referring to yourself – stay away. 

Anything other than an athletic/ boy shape needs to get over the idea of ever wearing horizontally stripped lycra, at least in public. ‘Coca-cola bottle shape’, ‘apple’, ‘pear’, ‘top heavy’, ‘bottom heavy’, however else you want to call whatever other shape there is, just stay very far away from horizontal stripes please.

5. Quit channeling Medusa

Dark/black lipliner and sheer lipstick went out with the garbage. Your liner should exactly match your lipstick and on top of that no matchy matchy eyeshadow to go with your get up. That is never a good idea. Where are the fire-breathing, mono-cycling, bowling pin juggling clowns?  You look like you are part of a circus troupe. 

For tips on Grown ‘n Sexy makeup applications see a whoooole set of tips here:

6. Wear your own clothes

That is to say wear clothes that you are comfortable with dammit, because I’m going to assume that you wouldn’t spend your own money on clothes that don’t fit and flatter you. Tugging at your painted on hems just draws unnecessary attention to your wanna-bee self. If it’s riding then let it ride. If you’re uncomfortable with the ride then change your clothes before you leave the house. It’s that simple; No-one is forcing you to wear it.

OOOOR you can be sensible and wear something that fits and flatters the shape that your mother gave you. For universally flattering style tips for women click here.

7. Cover your essentials

The only person that should be seeing your butt crack is no one.  This also goes for string thongs and panty-lines. If you put on some panties that are too small (hoping they will hold you in), and then put stretch skinny jeans or, Lord forbid, leggings over it – you end up with the VPL (visible panty line) sausage effect. Uuuuuggghhhhh! 

There is really no remedy for this other than wear your size. Please and thank you.

For tips on wearing leggings click here.

8. Use ‘fashion’ accessories

All the jewelry that you and your neighbor own belong in a saftey deposit box and not on your body at Carnival time. Don’t put yourself and others in danger by putting on the glitz and strutting yuh stuff in Panorama – you just begging for drama. Anyone can figure that out.

You can get into the embellishment trend by wearing glitzy accessories that are not only trendy and fashionable but will give you all the bling that you desire without all the drama of being robbed. For tips on hopping unto the embellishment trend click here.

Forward ever…

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Regardless of your shape, there are some rules of style that are universal and timeless. No, they do not include leggings and knee high boots as shown above.

Here are 6 fool proof style tips for every body type.  

1. Show some skin

Covering up yourself from head to toe is not as flattering as it sounds, as large expanses of cloth can actually give the appearance of a larger body.

Wear V-necks, 3/4 sleeves, knee length skirts (or shorter depending on age) or expose your back.

Just remember that a little skin goes a long way. Focus  on one area to be exposed and cover the rest, i.e. no exposed back, cleavage AND legs – tacky.

Exfoliate your body regularly (1-2 times a week) to rid it of dead skin cells and reveal fresh, glowing, sexy skin. 

2. Wear heels 

Up the ante and dress factor of a casual jeans by pairing with heels for instant sex appeal.

Pumps and other more classic styles are more ‘come hither’ than chunky heeled shoes or espadrilles for example. 

Wedge heeled shoes also tend to lean to the more casual side of things than classic stiletto heels.

3. Wear knee length skirts

Knee length skirts are definitely the most flattering. 

Skirts (or pants for that matter) that cut between the knee and the ankle cut you off abruptly and messes with your proportions. 

Wearing skirts that are too short will have you run the risk of looking trampy. Also if your legs are not in tip top shape, why draw unnecessary attention to an area that is not your best feature?

4. Pair slim with volume

Pairing volume on top and volume below, for example a floaty, billowy blouse and a flared skirt, can make you look… well, voluminous. 

Likewise slipping into a getup that looks painted on from head to toe just highlights any thing on your body that doesn’t look just right.

Strike a happy balance by keeping fabric close to the skin in areas of the body that are fuller, and pairing with pieces that are more voluminous in areas of the body that are slimmer.

For example in the typical pear shape (small chest, wide hips) pair a well fitted knee length pencil skirt with a flirtatious blouse with a extra fabric details around the neckline or chest area. Just ensure that your waist is emphasized, despite all this volumizing, to avoid looking like a solid block.

If you carry more of your weight on your upper body, consider choosing well fitted pieces for the top area, and pair with voluminous knee-length skirts for your bottom half.

5. Expose your neck

The sweetheart neckline is thought to be the single most flattering neckline that exists, as it elongates the neck and enhances the curves of those who have, and gives the appearence of curves to those who do not. 

This type of neckline also exposes the collar-bone – very, very sexy. 

Other necklines have limitations, with boat-necks and turtlenecks having the most I believe.  

6. When in doubt choose black

Regardless of what trends may say, black is always in style, and is slimming in the right fit.

Add a pop of colour around your face area – earrings, a necklace, bold red or nude lips for example, to brighten up your face and break the monotony, especially if you wear your hair colour dark.

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Keep it simple. A classic, streamlined, well put together, simple look will always trump a busy, fussy look. Once you are over a certain age, the latter look can also tend to age you.

Great skin is your best accessory.

As far as possible, work your life around a healthy diet and follow a skin care routine that works for your skin type and condition(s). 

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We’re almost there folks. 

2010. Man I’m getting… young. To think that just the other day we were being told that the world is going to come to an end when all the computers tried to make the transition from the 99s to the 00s. Haven’t we come a long way; Oh, to have those problems again.

Anywhos, back to the point at hand – 2010, the ‘New Year’

I wish for you:

- Health

- Peace

- Happiness

- Success, in whatever way you define it. 

- Renewed sense of self. This includes fashion sense.

Wow. 

Wow.

ok… Just wow.

Okay, I typed ‘fashion sense’ and my mind automatically shot to the scenery that I endured as part of this Merry Merry season. Didn’t plan this detour, but  hey, as I’m here already, might as well.

So far, I’ve had a blast. This holiday is kinda-sorta like none other for me before. Lots of fun, a couple firsts, a whole lot of love and some excitement here and there. The party scene was/ is totally off the chain here in el Caribe.

The Glamity Calamity was out in full force though, and it was certainly clear that some of my friends don’t read this blog. I mean… really now. But my momma taught me well, so I shall not call anybody out. See, you can lie in IM but real life has a way of exposing the truths. (PREACH!) Cause I’m sure these last few weeks we spoke about:

- Fish-scaled, silver, sequined leggings – DON’T, especially when worn under a very hairy matted

- FAUX FUR bolero jackets – DONT

- Harem pants – DON’T

- VPLs – DON’T

- Loud coloured liquid leggings with a ‘liquid’ tank top paired with a wide belt. – DON’T. There is no belt wide enough to cover a protruding paunch and a not quite right behind. Just… trying… too hard.

Leggings, leggings, leggings. They should not be the star of the show. Use them as accessories and you will never go wrong. 

If you are sporting any of the above, it is clear that you go out of your way to shop, so why not purchase something flattering. 

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This is not the catwalk folks. The semi-charmed kinda life that is the everyday isn’t so forgiving. Not everything that works on a sized 0-2, 6′ tall super normal being works on most of us.

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And guys. Wow. Come ooooon. I thought we went through this?

How many times a year does Christmas happen again? Not that Grown folk need a reason to up the ante on self presentation, but if ever there was an occasion, oh gorm… Christmas pretty much is up there, especially if you celebrate it. 

Like when you are going to this uber exclusive, $100+, all inclusive where Champagne and Johnny Walker Green Label are the ‘average’ drink, look a lil fresh nuh, and save yourself the embarrassment.

Like that associated with showing up to carpool with your friends to hit the dance, only to realise that you and ‘dem clearly not going to the same party. You see the chicks decked out head to toe papa-yo, one with some fierce purple, peep-toe, platform, fabric stilettos. De next one in a form fitting black & white number – hot to trot. De next one in an all black-everything sequined number, but you say… well “is girls, they always dress anyways”.

But is when the one guy who normally straggly and couldn’t care two hoots, walk out in a cripsy, white, french-cuffed shirt with seams that will make ya’ eye bleed if ya’ watch it too hard, a ‘nasty‘, black & white, pin-stripped trouser that fit just right, and a pair of black RL loafers …. **exhale*. Yes… We’ve reached.

So now you not even looking like dey chauffeur, cause he’d at LEAST have on a blazer.

How is that fair? You just put everyone in an awkward position because nobody really wants to rain on your parade when you ask “Ok I didn’t know that I had to ‘dress up’… should I change?”

What are they supposed to say?

‘YES-S-S-U-R!!!!” ?

I mean no-one wants to be late. So of course you will get the “Nah man… lets roll!” from the decked out guy who’s rolling with the 3 hot chicks – cause he knows very well that he will leave you one side.

So carpool now goes out the window, while you have to jump back in your car to go back home to dress appropriately.

You have to dress anyways, why not be ready for whatever the world throws at you? 

So we have a couple more days to get it together for 2009. Let’s make it count shall we?

Dress appropriately. 

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Men’s Style file: Update your look 

Denim is the Western society’s go-to casual look, but with the ridiculous amount of variations out there, it is pretty easy to mess this look up. We also grow out of denim looks, so you run the risk of sabotaging yourself if you do not see to updating your denim to match your Grown ‘n Sexy State of Mind. 

We know things are rough money-wise, so no you don’t have to throw out your entire wardrobe. However, when next you decide to purchase a pair, here are some things to keep in mind.

1. Colour

The most flattering colours of denim are medium to dark shades.

DRESSY / DO

Full black denim can be harsh 

You are better off wearing a trouser, if you are going for a dressy look, or black denim with shades of grey, not white, for a worn in look. ‘Light’ black shades can look washed out; In this case a better option would be a dark grey instead.

Just remember, lighter colours make an area look fuller so unless you have a few pounds to spare on your bottom half, stick to darker, more muted colours.

Faded jeans are super casual and are the least slimming.

The fewer distressing details denim has, the more dressy the look is.
That said, denim itself is a casual look and should not be used to replace a trouser, and no matter how dressy you think the look is, denim should be avoided for Casual Friday work wear.

Gentle distressing details give denim a warm, comfortable look and can indicate that you are a man who is approachable and easy going yet put together. 

Strike a happy medium by going with gentle distressed details. Whiskers are for cats, so keep this look minimum – nothing that is more than a couple shades lighter than the bulk of the denim colour, works well. 

Dress dark denim down with short-sleeved, light-weight shirts or button ups, and dress up with a blazer.

2. Cut   

Straight styles/ DO

Denim should be fitted well.

The fabric itself is already bulky so do find your size. Fit. Fit. Fit.
‘Fit’ doesn’t mean tight by the way. By fit I mean, find your correct size. Denim stretches, and so choosing to wear denim even a size bigger than your natural size, can make you look sloppy.

At the same time, don’t choose something so tight that you cut your nature. It looks uncomfortable, and surely it must be. It’s a trendy look that some guys can definitely pull off, I will not lie, but Grown people wouldn’t take you or what you have to say seriously so avoid this look in professional or networking settings.

Straight cut styles are the most flattering.
Bootcut styles are not, unless you are wearing platform heeled shoes, as they would make you look shorter and curvier than you are. Unless these are the looks that you are going for, stay away. 

Super Skinny DON'T

Flare, baggy, and wide legged male styles should just be outlawed already, right along with the high-rise, male versions of ‘mom jeans’. They don’t flatter anyone, unless one is trying to make a comedic statement.

Unless you’re in entertainment, super skinny jeans on males is not a good look. And unless you have hips, never wear female jeans. Jeans, like sneakers, are constructed differently for males and females for specific, anatomical reasons. 

3. Style

Regardless of colour, distressed denim is the most casual denim look. 
Denim that is both distressed and faded is then both causal and trendy. Although there are situations where this denim combo can work, it should be left for the younger guys, guys who are just a little Grown.

No disrespect at all is meant here, by ‘little Grown’ I’m referring to guys in their their late twenties to early thirties, who can still get away with this look and not appear to be forcing the youth point. The further away you are from this age group, the more you should want to give the impression that you have your affairs in order.

Try a fully faded look rather than partial fading
When choosing jeans in lighter shades, opt for ones without extra fading, and with no distressing, to bring a casual yet grown look. Pairing these types of jeans with lightweight, short-sleeved shirts or classic button up tees can help you balance the line between casual yet Grown swag. Pair with a sports jacket to achieve a dressier look, but remember that light coloured jeans will always be most casual.

4. Length

Male jeans should be long enough to have just about one or two crinkle folds in it when shoes are worn, see any of the above dos. If it falls fully flat by your feet when you stand then it’s too short; any more wrinkles and it’s too long.

Get your jeans tailored if necessary. As denim shrinks when laundered, ensure that you carry it to the tailor after laundering. If they originally came with a hem, you can request that the original hem be used.

Please, no denim capris. 

It’s a very unflattering look as they cut you off abruptly and make you look shorter than you ought to be. If you wish to wear shorts, opt for Grown male, flat-front khakis instead, that cut at, or just below the knee.  Leave above the knee for boarder shorts. 

The colour is your personal choice, it’s the length, and cut that’s most important. The lighter the colour, or more patterned the fabric, the more casual it is.

CASUAL / DO

Avoid flashy back pockets.

Reserve the bling for understated jewelry like watches, perhaps a statement belt buckle (no rhinestone designs please), and your winning white-toothed smile.

The bulkier your frame. the less voluminous your pockets should be also, i.e. pocket flaps and expanded cargo-like pocket styles and what not. The more distracting details on the shorts the more casual it appears.

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5. No denim shirts. Period.

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It’s amazing how much the sofistication ante ups when you keep it simple. 

Ladies feel free to weigh in on your pet peeves for men’s denim, guys feel free to agree to disagree.

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Suede Cage Boot | Balenciaga

Gotta love you some shoes. However, nothing quite cancels out the effect of fierce statement shoes like their owner engaging in frumpy caveman bevaviour.

Come on, that’s not lady-like, where’s your Diva training?

If you are Bold-Faced enough to even think that you are capable of carrying off sky-high stillettos, then you must to be Bad-Mind enough to endure it to the end!

This business of walking out a social engagement bare-footed, and toting your shoes behind you like you just barely lost a fight with them is not Sexy.

To avoid this and other similar shoe-sasters, consider the following when buying shoes:

1. Exercise some Fashion Sense

Of course love fashion, ain’t nobody telling you no, but sometimes you have to consider other factors to figure out if your feet can handle all that flyy for that particular event, depending on how long you are going to be standing in them.

When buying pointed-toe shoes (the ones that we refer to as ‘kick & stab’), it is recommended that you go one size bigger. This little trick goes for pointed-toe boots as well.

2. Buy your correct size.

If you measure your feet and your are a size 7, buy a size 7. Don’t try to stuff your feet in a 5.5 because the joke will be on you at the end of the night.

Be sure to try on, and strut your stuff in, both sides of the pair of shoes at the store, as it is not uncommon for one foot to be larger than the other. It is said that feet swell during the course of the day when you are on them, so it is a good idea to purchase them, statement shoes especially, later during the day to accommodate this swelling.

Insoles are also a good idea; in addition to making you feet feel comfy, they can also help fit your  feet into shoes that may be a half size to a size too big.

By the way, that rule about going one size lower when purchasing open-toed shoes is a lie. Regardless of how expensive that shoe is, nothing looks cheaper than toes hanging out the front of a shoe -claw style, or a crusty heel hanging off of some sick sling-backs.

3. Wear smartly

Even shoes have a time and place. If you work for an advertising company or any such company where creativity is encouraged, then by all means rock your multicoloured pumps to work. I mean who can resist some super high pumps in a royal purple with a pair of skinny jeans and a white shirt… sigh…

But if you are going to,… say perhaps a Carnival fete and intend to be jumping to the sweet soca sounds, then you definitely need to be wearing something a more practical and comfortable.

Although I would not be caught dead in these because of my height, for practicality sake I propose those funky ballet slippers. If you’re tall enough to carry it off, and you wont get lost in a crowd without your stilletos then these are a perfect option to wearing sneakers and looking like you are about to take a sprint down the runway.

4. Practice your walk

If you are going to buy statement stilettos, know now how to walk in them. It’s never a good idea to wear your shoes the same night, especially if you know that you are going to be standing for hours. That is just looney behaviour. 

Try to get these shoes sometime before (at least a week), and wear them around at home so as to get your feet accustomed to the feel of the shoe, and to understand where you can and cannot wear them.

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Forward ever!

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For the times when you get tired of killing yourself for your body to look like something it’s not, here are some suggestions to rock what you’ve been blessed with, in whatever shape or size that may be.

It’s all about proportions. Balancing it all out, as ultimately the most flattering shape is the one that gives the essence of an hourglass figure. So if an area is a touch bulky, don’t put a lot of fuss on it and draw more attention there; it can do that on it’s own. If something is a lil lacking, bring on the volume, a little pattern and/ or a little colour.

That said, drowning a bulky area in excess fabric doesn’t make the area invisible, it just looks like you are hiding something, and ultimately makes you look bigger than you really are.

Welcome to the “Dress Your Shape” Series. Today we will focus on the well endowed among us, our busty pally wals.

DO:

- Invest in good underwear. Lift and separate, always.

Consider also wearing camis under shirts to keep the girls from bouncing around. The ones without the inner bra support work well at not having the girls spill out and look like your head is resting on them.

To not look top heavy, here are a few tips and some potholes to stay clear of. 

AVOID:

1. Boat-necks, turtlenecks, round necks, square necks, asymmetrical necks…

The V-neck is your friend.

Trying to smother the girls under yards of fabric only makes them stand out more, and makes you look uncomfortable. Free yourself, and don a v-neck. Not too deep so as to let all the goodies out of the bag, but showing enough will elongate your neck, and draw more attention to your face. 

Wrap dresses, work well at streamlining a full bust.
Well really, wrap dresses work well for about 99% of women.

Gotta love statistics; Don’t quote me on it, but yes wrap dresses do work for the majority of women.

2. Spagetti straps and anything otherwise flimsy looking.

They’re uncomfy, tear into your shoulder and don’t provide much support. Besides, exposed underwear only looks good on TV, and even then the bra straps are teeny tiny.

Structure and good tailoring are your bffs. Thick strapped halters or racer back styles are especially flattering, if you’ve been working out and have some shoulders that can do with the attention.

Also avoid any tops that stretch ad infinitum horizontally. A lot of the winter season’s sweaters do that – not a good look. Stretch is necessary to prevent the shirt buttons from holding on for dear life yes, but controlled stretching is the key.

A 2% lycra/ cotton blend will give you a good fit and help keep any bulges in check. Any more lycra in that blend and it’s going to stick to you like a second skin and look unflattering.

3. Cap sleeves

They cut you off at your widest – right in the line with the bust. And unless you have guns of steel, they also cut your arm off at it’s most unflattering point.

Choose either 3/4  or full length sleeves to balance bust, or expose your shoulders by wearing halters or racerback styles as mentioned above.

You can also opt to go with the tube top look, but if you are over a certain age and those girls are naturally yours, finding a well fitting, supportive bra can be an issue so … just skip this tube look altogether if you fall in this category.

4. Billowy, unstructured tops with skinny pants or jeans or leggings. 

The same thing goes with wearing skin fitted mini skirts – Too lollipop-ish. Remember our shapes; hour-glass, not upside down triangle.

No tent tops or tent dresses, no trapeze jackets, you always need to find your waist.

The more you have to balance in the chest area, the more critical this issue is. Pair well fitting (not tight!) tops with straight legged or boot cut styled jeans/ trousers and heels. No flared pants, these only make your legs look shorter. You can also pair with voluminous skirts (volume that’s at the hemline not at the waist) that cut at about the knee, no longer than that please.

5. Shift dresses

But you most likely find that you have a time trying to get the majority to fit properly anyways. 

Accommodate your proportions by choosing separates instead – classic, no fuss, well fitted top pieces and leave the drama to the bottom pieces. Any frills, patterns, loud coloured clothing – all the drama belongs on the bottom. Doing so will help balance your proportions out. 

Waist bands or anything that pulls your midsection together is key to giving yourself some proportion, especially with blouses that do not naturally taper in at your waist line.

Belts can work as well, but like patterns, they need to be sized according to your body size. Smaller belts and tiny, intricately patterned clothing flatter petite or slim frames and larger belts and bigger patterns work well with fuller or taller frames. Proportions, proportions.

6. Long dangly statement necklaces

Because they either get lost in the chest or they hang in all strange sorts of ways when you aren’t looking. 

Opt for necklaces that remain close to the base of your neck area, to draw more of the attention upward.

Also do try to focus the drama on your eyes and use lip-colours in more flattering, natural tones. Unless of course that’s the look you are going for, big, exposed boobs and bold or fire engine red lips does have a ‘Pretty Woman’ look to it.

Bold, elongated earrings can work, so long as they stay close to your face and definitely above your shoulders. This way they will frame your face beautifully and highlight your neck and shoulders. 

Wearing earrings that fall past your shoulders, well it’s just too much competition between the earrings and the boobies. Avoid any large, perfectly round or hoopy earrings (or fabric patterns for that matter). If you’re Boriqua to the bone and love you some hoops, I ain’t mad at ‘ya, try the spherical hoop variety instead.

7. Either show cleavage OR legs.

Help ya’ side and choose one.

If you have any other fashion tips and tricks that you’ve found work for a healthy bust size, be sure to share so that we can all learn something or two!

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Great skin is your best accessory. Why not consider inviting your best features out with some face bling? And unlike the season’s latest fashion trends, you can repeat wear.

These looks are neither for the meek nor are they for the club wallflowers. These are for the Divas who can bring it like they own it, as wearing them will signal to all that you just landed from another planet to chill with us lesser mortals. Needless to say these looks should be worn at night. Choose ONE of the following:

1. Bejeweled eyeliner

Used as a single eye statement, gel eye colour (in pots), eyeliner pencils as well as liquid liners in bejeweled (shine and updated glitter) jewel tones look absolutely stunning on darker skin tones.

Pair with a complimentary eyeshadow in your skin colour and flawless skin/ foundation and concealer application.

Thickly line both upper and lower lids and allow them to meet at outer corner of eyes in a point. The final look will look something short of a cat woman eye mask, only more majorly so.

Finish with ultra black, thickening mascara. Consider also pairing with eyelash extensions, oui papa.

Minimalista glam:

Thinly line upper and lower lids with jewel toned eye liners, or with black shimmery eyeliner. To up the ante, consider lining upper lid with jewel toned liquid liner… yeaaah, wild side here you come.

2. Smokey shimmery jewel-toned eyes

Another awesome look on darker skins as well, it is your usual smokey eye, just on steroids. Consider substituting your usual matte dark grey/ black eyeshadow for jewel tones
- Emerald/ Dark Green
- Sapphire
- Navy/ Midnight blue
- Purple/ plum

Fairer skin tones can try jewel tones in lighter, brighter colours such as aquamarine, amethyst, or jade for example.

It is important to choose rich, deep shades, think of the colours that you would find on a King’s crown, at least the ones in Disney flicks, and not ashy ones. Yes, there are dark ashy shades as well.

Black shimmery eyeshadow can also be used.

Pair with jet back mascara, or consider using eyelash extensions.

Minimalista chic:

Use the same smokey eye application technique, only in neutral jewel-type skin tones. This way eye gets the definition through understated glam.

3. Bejeweled juicy lips

Apply the season’s richly pigmented dazzly lipglosses over bold lip colour in matching or complimentary shade. 

For bold lip colour application click here -> Lady in Bold

Pair with understated glam eye makeup and eyeliner in dark brown for lighter skin tones or jet black for medium to darker skin tones. Add jet black mascara, or consider using eyelash extensions.

Minimalista chic:

Rock the season’s richly pigmented dazzly lipglosses alone or over lip balm. Applying over lip balm tends to dilute application as it allows the gloss to spread easier.

*** Caution***
These looks are very high maintenance and should be worn only if and when you are in the position to act like a lady. If you plan to get ‘wasted’ and ‘party like it’s 1999′ all over again, stick to a minimalista chic look. This way even though you may look the fool falling off the table top or topping down the stairs when you are being escorted out the dance, at least your makeup wouldn’t look a hot mess. The paparazzi is everywhere these days man. 

For more makeup application tips click here -> Frump to Fab in 10 steps

Go Glam! 

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Supernova
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