Manscaping

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What’s with men and armpit hair?

Seriously.

The hair is cut, the mustache is trimmed, the beard is shaved or ‘lined‘ in all different forms and fashions. So why does grooming of armpit hair seem so unnatural?

‘Manscaping’ my friends. A word derived from the magnificent combination of ‘man’ and ‘landscaping’.

I’m not asking for a daily commitment, just one day – every six weeks or so, when you are taking care of that beard in the bathroom maybe you can take that Phillips/ Andis/ Remington/ Wahl/ Braun (your choice, I’m not picky) beard trimmer on a little adventure into the armpit zone. 3 minutes max. Voila! A whole new person, 10 lbs lighter.

Once you get comfortable with dealing with that pesky armpit hair, then we can have a little chat about taking care of… the nether regions.

Women will love you for who you are don’t get me wrong, I’m just saying. It’s 2009 guys, don’t let your hedges take over your house and land.

It doesn’t necessarily improve your health or take care of that personality flaw, but trust me, when your gal sees that you take the time to manscape, she will know that you mean business. Grrrrrrrr

 Lets keep ourselves nice and tidy, shall we?

Go on ahead and organize your sexy self.

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Not-your-eighties Leggings

“I love leggings. How can I wear them without looking like I’m stuck in the eighties?”

Leggings are great. They are very versatile, can be worn with almost anything, and can easily update something that you already own (smart fashion is key!). Worn correctly, they can appear to slim and elongate the gams and to appear taller and/ or slimmer is usually not a bad thing!

My response to this question/comment was longer than the comment box permitted so I decided to upload it as a post instead.

If you are having any difficultly with rocking your leggings, and want to dodge looking like you are stuck in the eighties, here are some of my tips:

DO:

1. Pair plain dark/neutral coloured leggings (black/ navy/ green/ wine/ brown/ grey…) with summer frocks and chick smart heels to transition a day look into a night one. This also applies to tunics and long jackets.

Related: As a twist on the classic monotone office look, do wear opaque stockings in the same colours mentioned above with traditional office suits/ attire to give a subtle update to your look. These need not match perfectly with the suits, however do match complementary colours. For example pair dark green opaque opaque tights with a camel coloured suit, and dark brown heels, or perhaps a wine one with a navy skirt and dark grey pumps if your personality will allow it.

2. Rock brightly coloured (including Fall ’09 neons for the more adventurous among us, though this is really better suited as a club look) or subtly patterned (read small grey/black herringbone print) with an otherwise simple and classic look, like all black everything, to shake things up a bit.

Understand that here your legs are the focal point so if you aren’t quite there yet with accepting your legs as they are, you can opt to wear leggings in more a more neutral tone, like black. (See ‘D’o #1)

Also, because you don’t want to look like you are competing with yourself, do keep accessories minimal, makeup natural, and cleavage under wraps.

3. Pair leggings with whole shoes like dressy flats, peep toe pumps, stiletto pumps, booties, boots etc, rather than with delicate strappy evening shoes. If you are going with a strappy look, do opt for shoes with thicker straps.

4. Understand that lighter coloured leggings (white/ yellow/ neon etc) do draw attention to your legs/ lower half and, much like lighter coloured (and skinny) pants, will accentuate any potential ‘flaws’ you may have in this area… like cellulite.  They will also make your butt look larger. Unless this is the look that you are going for, cease and desist. Darker coloured leggings allow for a sleeker more slimming effect.

5. Do ensure that leggings fit properly, especially in the knee area (no bagginess) and, for those rocking the leggings with the long jacket and long-ish tee, the crotch area (no camel toe!).

AVOID:
~ Pairing leggings with:

~ White trainers, unless of course you are exercising in them
~ Short tops/ navel breakers. Cover your rear.
~ Delicate evening shoes
~ Any throwback eighties trend including, but not limited to, balloon sleeves or hems, scrunchie leg warmers, strong shoulder pads, neon anything  (unless it’s the leggings themselves), acid-wash anything, one-shouldered oversized sweaters, teased hair.

~ Combining patterned leggings with patterned clothing. Way too much can go wrong.

~ Wearing ‘capri’ leggings/ tights – those that cut at the knee, or just below them, especially with flats. They abruptly cut off a streamlined look, making you look shorter than you really are.

~ Two toned leggings – stripes, polka dots for example, as this makes it very difficult for people to take you seriously.

~ Color block leggings (one leg a different colour than the next). Too clownish.
I have seen colour block leggings where the front half of the legs are one colour and the back half of the legs are a different colour. This is a little tricky but if one colour is the color of your skirt, for example a black pencil skirt with a two-toned black and wine tights/ leggings with black pumps it can work, so long as the blacks match. The idea is if you are walking the line of the clown look on the leggings keep the rest of your look tailored/sophisticated to balance it. If you are unsure of what I am talking about just skip this look altogether.

Thanks for the question!

I hope this helps.

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Just one step away from being labeled “Hater”

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Sometimes there are people around us that… well lets just say we aren’t too sure if they are on our side or theirs.

I mean it’s hard to tell. They aren’t mean to us. It’s not like they backstab or anything, and they aren’t checking our significant other. They are always around us, always in our corner always there when we screw up sure, but they just can’t seem to say the thing that we need them to say. It’s not that you are looking for a sugar rush, or to be told just how badly we tanked because we were there when it happened, every millisecond of the way. A real and forward looking perspective never hurt nobody. Sometimes we are just looking for that… I don’t know that, ‘way forward’ maybe? Maybe it’s just me. 

So because we haven’t found any valid reason to pitch them off our 9 sq. ft. of personal planet space yet, we allow them to stay with the expectation that one day, sometime soon, they will say something at some inopportune moment that will entirely make us question the real purpose of the relationship yet again. But we hold on to be belief that they will turn around and say that very thing that we know that they are capable of saying, because we believe in them. I’ve had a couple of relationships like that in my lifetime, but that’s not what I really meant to talk about me and my friends today so I’ll come back to that.

This, however, is a shout out post to the blatant naysayers, because sometimes there is no greater motivation than to prove someone, who you know deep down means well, wrong. Understand, this is not a shout out to the “haters”, as they have issues that lie within themselves that they choose to project on us and I’m not qualified to speak of issues of this nature as my only response involves the word ‘ignore’. So yes, this is for the people in our lives who definitely know that we are on the path to destruction, so much so that they formulate an intervention to save us from ourselves. 

I once had a teacher in high-school who absolutely, positively refused to give me even a barely passing grade in Form 3 English, because she was adamant that I did not produce the work that I had submitted for the year. For everyone who’s confused by this, Form 3 is a grade in Caribbean high schools that is key for students because this is the grade from which, if you made it this far, the education system threatens that the La-La land that you are currently floating around in now ends and the blue-print for the rest of your life has now begun. It is the transition where you choose the direction you would like to pursue in life by choosing your ‘subjects’ and of course you weren’t permitted to choose anything you failed that term.

My parents were called in, the principal got involved and it was all very messy because, as she put it, what I have been doing was an ‘atrocity’ and she made it a point to get to the bottom of why I would be so disturbed to continually do something like submit work that wasn’t mine, after all it is considered an offense. Long story short, English (language) was/is a compulsory subject for everyone to take in high-school so after all the flapping and clucking, a failing grade or not, there I was, somewhere in the middle-row seat of the Form 4 Sciences English class. Although I knew that I produced all those English essays, even after a distinction in CXC English, for the rest of my life since then I always doubted my ability to write and leaned on my gift in Math and Science related subjects. Its not that I felt defeated, but that conviction just wasn’t there and there was always some lingering doubt that would rear it’s ugly head from time to time whenever I was required to produce anything, including myself, that was open to public scrutiny.

Fast forward some 17 years (?) I am sitting at home when I receive a call that I have been awarded the Jose Pinguelo General Education Award at the school that I had just graduated from a little over a month ago. I am totally confused now, because the address states “The School of Liberal Arts & Sciences” I automatically think that they have gotten the wrong address if only because I had attended “The Business School”. After clear and present bewilderment, I look at the letter again and it clearly states my name. Now I’m frantically shuffling through my mental archives, when I remember that time the professor of the course “Sociology of the Family”, one of three Liberal Arts courses I sat in the program, pulled me aside one time after class and asked my permission to submit a couple of the pieces that I done for the course; in particular an assessment of the media content of one of my favorite shows, “Sex and the City”, and an interview project that I was required to do on the effects on Divorce on the lives of 4 different individuals. Surely, this couldn’t be it though because, of course, “I don’t write THAT well…” I tell myself. 

* 

Funny how we have a tendency to have the negative script on repeat in our subconscious and the positive script that we are told anew everyday by strangers, with nothing to gain, do not register. Looking back I can’t quite recount how many times I’ve been told by others, including my Aunt who is an extraordinarily gifted journalist, that I write well; I’ve always accepted that she says it but I never quite believed it. 

This award, and the fact that I’m now writing articles for a living, is for you high-school teacher. It goes out to all those people we have had in our lives that are just that ONE step away from being labelled a “hater” because we are convinced, for whatever reason, that deep down inside they do really care.

“Yes I can”

Yes, I’ve considered removing that phrase and replacing it with some term as equally enthralling so that I don’t come across sounding terribly clichéd, but you know what, this is an article from the heart and that’s what the heart wants to say, so it stays. 

Be blessed.

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Slip, Slop, Slap, and Wrap

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We’ve all been there.

 An advertisement highlighting the damaging effects of the sun comes on and we think back to the time we wanted  a tan so badly we slathered our limbs with baby oil and beached ourselves on the sand.

 We’ve since, hopefully, learnt that this is not a good idea, and so we retired the baby oil and moved to the tanning  oil, the SPF 2 one.

Someone mentioned that this upgrade wasn’t a really much of one so we further upgraded to a SPF 15, the only problem is that we never remember to apply it the how-many-hours-before sun exposure and the how-many-hours-after being exposed to the sun.

We usually find some crafty reason we didn’t use sunscreen this morning with/in our moisturizer but the truth is that we really don’t think it’s that important because we protect ourselves otherwise, besides it’s not like we are beaching ourselves on the sand for the whole day. 

I was researching some info for SunKissed beauty the other day and came across this interesting list of sun exposure myths on sunsmart.org.nz .It’s a website from New Zealand (trust me to find it) so I’ve adapted it a bit. They have identified the top sun exposure myths as follows:

It’s not possible to get sunburnt on cloudy days.

False. You can get sunburnt on cloudy days as some ultraviolet radiation (UVR) penetrates cloud cover. Under partly cloudy skies UVR levels can be high, and even increase, due to reflection from clouds.

The wind burnt me, not the sun.

False. It is UVR from the sun that causes skin to burn. Wind lowers the temperature of the air making it easy to forget that the UVR from the sun is still strong.

I tan easily so my skin is less likely to be damaged.

False. Any exposure to UVR has the potential to cause skin damage. Burning and peeling are signs some damage has already occurred – even if it turns into a tan. The tan you develop won’t protect you from the harmful effects of the sun.

I can’t get sunburnt through glass.

False. Glass reduces but does not block transmission of all UVR. It typically transmits about 10 percent of the UVR. People who spend long periods in a car, or next to a window receiving direct sunlight should use sun protection.

I have had sunburn but now I protect my skin, so I am safe from developing skin cancer.

False. You can’t undo any damage that may have already occurred to your skin but you should prevent future sunburn to minimise any further risk.

Sunscreen blocks out the sun.

False. Sunscreen should not be used as a means of staying out in the sun longer. When exposure to the summer sun is unavoidable, sunscreen is the last line of defence to reduce the risk of sun damage to your skin. No sunscreen will completely shield you from the effects of UVR. Many people apply sunscreen at less than the recommended thickness, so reducing its effectiveness.

People with tans or dark skin don’t sunburn.

False. If your skin turns brown it is a sign of sun damage – even if there is no redness or peeling. If you tan easily or have dark skin you are still at risk of skin cancer and should use sun protection.

‘Burn time’ is 20 minutes therefore I am safe in the sun within this timeframe.

False. A time indication for how long it will take your skin to burn is not accurate, so really there is no such thing as ‘burn time’. People have different skin types and therefore some burn quicker than others. 

Suntans are healthy.

False. There is no such thing as a safe or healthy tan. It does not improve your body’s ability to protect yourself from the sun. Some exposure to the sun for vitamin D is healthy, but most people get enough vitamin D through normal daily activity – even with sun protection.

I’m sure this was not a mean attempt to freak people out but it might as well have been.

They do suggest that you slip, slop, slap and wrap…. Interesting, I like i.e. 

SLIP on a shirt
SLOP on some sunscreen
SLAP on a hat and
WRAP on a pair of sunglasses.

Reminds me of that ‘SlapChop’ commercial on TV where the guy says “Making America thinner, one SLAP at a time!” LOL. If only.

Source: SunSmart

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Smooth Criminal

Yesssssssss. Ya just gotta love that feeling of touching that smooooooth i-wanna-eat-it skin. Or that gloooowing gotta-touch-it, i-want it skin.

Some people are just so blessed. They eat all the junk, they never exercise, they drink, they smoke, they don’t sleep and yet… everything looks like it functions just fine. Or like those people who can manage to pack on unbelieveable pounds and still be alive long enough to get a reality show, while the gym bunny, who is slimmer than you are, is diagnosed with ‘normal weight obesity’ and is now living at the doctor’s office ’cause she’s at a “fatal risk for heart disease”. Yes, genetics a b!tch on a rocket stick.

Our skin is constantly shedding (skin cell turnover) cells and replacing them with new ones. It is the fresh new, hydrated and well nourished cells that impart this glow, and the dead skin cells that are just hanging around that can contribute to a dull sallow look on body. Skin cell turnover occurs naturally but slows down with age, and by ‘with age’ it is meant 25 years old or so.

…

…*crickets*…

…

Some of us are in the peak of the turnover party… yeeaaah!… Cherish it. For some of us memories of that mosh pit are a tad spotty but thankfully there are ways that we can assist our body in doing it’s thing and achieving this sexy glow by means of ~ Body Exfoliation.

In general exfoliation is the process of removing dead skin cells and can result in 
~ Healthier skin complexion and clarity
~ Unclogs follicles and pores allowing skin to ‘breathe’ better and for better penetration of moisturizers, lotions and serums 
~ Improves skin texture and makes it smoother (aka mas sexy!) 
~ Other skin function such as stimulating skin’s overall functions, increasing circulation, energizing superficial lymphatic flow and stimulates nerve endings…

That’s a lot of stimulation right thuurr! … but that’s another topic 

Now, this process of removing dead cells can be done manually or chemically.

Manual exfoliation stimulates circulation and involves the use of physical force (like rubbing) for example using a dry brush, mitts, loofahs, and a whole host of natural substances  like salt (detoxifies skin), sugar (moisturizes skin), cornmeal and ground coffee (said to be good to help minimize the look of cellulite) mixed with water, oils or creams. Most of these natural substances can already be found in your home and *secret* ~ are the ingredients that are often used in high end Spas for that ‘natural’ experience. Makes you think!

In chemical exfoliation an ingredient(s) or ‘chemical(s)’ in the product (acids or enzymes) do the work and no physical rubbing is required as the ingredient itself dissolves the dead skin cells. A little creepy sounding but it works amazingly well. Some of these acids/ enzymes are  found in common fruits such as papaya/paw paw, strawberries and pineapple. (food.Yum!) A common chemical exfoliation not found in food is salicylic acid, which usually found in acne treatment products. 

Along with a healthy diet and lifestyle (ever realize how many times you hear that? lol) regular exfoliation (once or twice a week) is a great way to achieve softer, healthier, more touchable skin. However there are some precautions that should be taken when adopting a exfoliating regime for the body like avoid use on:

~ open wounds
~ surgical procedures where skin should not be moved
~ sensitive areas like varicose veins, open wounds, infection or inflammation
~ sunburns (see Sunkissed beauty)

Additionally salt and other exfoliates that dissolve (like sugar) should not be used immediately after waxing as this can potentially irritate skin. Aggressive exfoliation, involving larger, sharper, non-circular granules like cornmeal & ground coffee should be avoided on sensitive skin. And by all means in the excitement of having goddess skin do not over-exfoliate or rub too hard or fast (thank goodness I’m sharing this as a verbally cause I’m cracking to hell up) as over exfoliation can damage your skin and can lead to scarring in skin that is prone to hyper-pigmentation (or darkening)… so easy on the rubbing.

You know you want to. Go get your grind on.

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“Brazilian bikini wax is a must!!!”

There are times in life when we are reminded of the short to medium term goal that we set for ourselves sometime ago. You know, the one that we scribbled with that blue inked Papermate in the dog eared  2001 faded leatherette corporate daily planner. The one we reviewed every time the going got rough at our cluttered desk and we told ourselves that we were tell that being exactly where they can stuff those TPS reports.

*Join gym. Drink more water. Quit smoking. Stress less. Smile more. Start diet. Make time for kids. Find wifey. Make time for parents. Date night with Kim. Be more assertive. Get tattoo. Travel. Choose better men. Break up with Stacey. Learn Japanese. Eat healthier. Start business. Enroll in dance class. Take Mo’ Mo’ up on that offer. Start garden. Party more. Drink less. Learn the guitar. Put that damn cookie down. Quit job… now.*

Then there are the days when we are b!tchslapped by said plan; when something has either occurred or has been said and we realize that this right here… THAT AIN’T IT!”.

The “AHA!” moment.

Yesterday was one of those days.

You navigate life, trying to make the best choices that you can. Work Hard. Work Smart. You walk that fine line where you do the best you can to live in the moment without living it up so much that you are incoherent when it passes you by and trying not to take yourself too seriously that [what-the-what!] you have no idea what just happened.

~ Martin got married?

~ Shelly has a 2 year old?

~ Kate died?

~ Wait…. is Martin divorced?… I thought he just got married?

The thing is, apart from the fact that everyone else may think you are living in oblivion, you are fine. You’ve figured out exactly how to maintain the equilibrium, exactly how to keep the balance in your life, while precariously maintaining the status quo and you’ve found your flow, you are groooooooving baby. You find an appropriate way to channel the negativity (no judgements cast here) you may come into contact with and rock to the positive vibes you, and the handful of ones you allow in your life, generate. You’ve figured out that certain things in your life need to be tweaked yes but in due course, for in the grand scheme of things, hey it’s not so shabby.

Then somewhere in your bliss some special individual unknowingly says something that puts it all into perspective. You realize that people aren’t really taking you as seriously as you thought… and you are left wondering why you are the only person who believe that they should. The fog diffuses and suddenly the dance floor in the utopia that you were just doing the stanky legg (or robot, your choice) in is not only arid and patchy but it smells frowsy. 

“Where am I… and how did I get here?” you wonder, absolutely positively stupefied.

You dig deep, trying to keep the pressurized container in tact, and maintain a calm while you tell yourself that this right here is not your life. You phase in and out of consciousness for a minute and, in the clearing of the pulsating blurr, the overwritten scribble in the dog eared  2001 leatherette corporate daily planner comes into view.

*Join gym. Drink more water. Quit smoking. Stress less. Smile more. Start diet. Make time for kids. Find wifey. Make time for parents. Date night with Kim. Be more assertive. Get tattoo. Travel. Choose better men. Break up with Stacey. Learn Japanese. Eat healthier. Start business. Enroll in dance class. Take Mo’ Mo’ up on that offer. Start garden. Party more. Drink less. Learn the guitar. Put that damn cookie down. Quit job… now.*

And then you get it.

The light turns on and it all makes sense and you make that first step.

The one that tells you that you don’t have to get it right, but that at the very least, you owe it to yourself to just get that goal up and running.

“AHA!”

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