Your Virtual Best Friend

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Online dating gained its popularity in the early to mid nineties and has grown into a multi-billion dollar business. Most of us feel that it is for people who are desperate, or lacking the self-confidence to go out and find a date, love or just sex. After asking a few friends, the overall consensus was that they prefer blind dates recommended by friends or even speed dating – which allows you to short “dates” with a number of candidates, with a view to choosing those that you would like to date.

For me, I think online dating would be a must for me if I were single. Why? Well it’s like Google for your love life. The search capabilities allow you to get quite granular in your search criteria – which means that you can pretty much fine-tune your searches until you find what you are looking for. Which brings me to the first dilemma.

“How do we know what people say on there is true?”

Granted. But then again, how do we know when we meet someone what they are telling us to our face is true?

With online dating, I believe the only risk comes when someone lies about the validity of their profile picture, their career, etc., to attract more attention. However, we cannot prove his/her honesty any more than we can prove the honesty levels of the person who has just bought us a drink at the bar. Online or in person, a first date always has the looming question – is he/she a psycho?

Step 1. Define your objective.

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You decide to jump in and give it a try.  First, what is your objective here?

• Sex?
• Friend with benefits?
• Date for your sister’s wedding?
• Soulmate?

Once you have answered this question – you can then create a list of what you require this person to be and, more importantly, not to be. Once this is done, it’s time to search.

Already, you would have cut out so much wasted time dating people who will not make the cut – those who are too short, too fat, not smart enough, isn’t an only child – whatever are your “deal breakers”.

It’s like shopping online for shoes. You know you want a black, mid-heel, size 6 pump, and you don’t want to spend more than $100. Communicate that to the search mechanism on your shoe-shopping site – et voila! All the shoes matching your criteria appear for you to review. Then, you either buy it online or go in store for an afternoon of trying on your finalists.

Same for online dating.

I am too old, and too busy to just go out and hope to meet someone decent. The stale chat up lines, finding out that the person cannot even meet your basic criteria, or if he or worse yet she drinks too much.

Step 2. Try Social Networking.

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Who ARE you?

The beauty of social networking is that it allows us to take online dating to the next level. When you find your list of finalists on your dating site, you can then search these individuals on Facebook and even LinkedIn (the business version of Facebook). This will allow you to test the person’s honesty as well as see them in a more comfortable environment.  Their Facebook profile will be much more geared to their friends and family, so honesty should prevail. Also, you can see if you have any friends in common and then be able to do some background research.

I know what you’re thinking – all of that hard work.

But think of all the hard work that goes down the drain by the third date if you get it all wrong anyway. Three outfits. Body grooming – and don’t laugh, it is important. Choosing three different locations to meet. Asking those initial questions:

• So what do you do for work?
• For play?
• How many siblings?
• Where have you travelled?

All of these questions are answered on the person’s profile. So really, you skip the crap of date one and even date two, and really get down to business.

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I are a college student.

Another thing that online dating allows you to weigh someone’s basic intelligence.

• Can s/he write a proper sentence? You’d be surprised. You can measure how creative someone is by how s/he describes him/herself.
• Does s/he have a sense of humor?
• What books is  s/he is reading?
• Any sports?
• Music or film preferences.

You can build a quite detailed character sketch if you really delve into what these things mean.

To take it even further, you can research these things and come up with questions to use on the first date, in order to decide whether the person is being honest – especially if it is a topic that you know about.

Again, I know what you’re thinking – more work.

Think of going on holiday. You and a few of your friends want to spend a week away together to have some fun. What’s the first thing you do? Try to find a place you all agree on. This will depend on price, weather, flight time, language spoken and many more factors. Then you and your friends start doing the necessary research to come up with a short list and then choose your final destination. Sounds like work to me, and this is just for one week! Why then wouldn’t you put in the hours to find someone that you could possibly spend forever with?

Step 3. The Lies

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Now there is the flip side – Some people have a tendency lie on their profiles. Why? Because they think if they say this or that, they will attract a girl or guy that fits a certain criteria. So if the profile (truth or lies) appeals to you – rather than question the validity of the information, know that this person wants someone like you. That’s a good place to start.

Of course we don’t want you to go out with Mr or Mrs Serial Killer, but don’t let the white lies put you off. After 10 years of marriage paradise, I still drop the white lies.

Him: “Babe, you got me the shaving cream?”

Me: “No babe. The store didn’t have the one you wanted”.

Did I go to the store? Of course not.

Am I going to admit that? Of course not.

If the roles were reversed, would hubby? Of course not.

Done.

What about when you go to job interviews? Don’t we all tell white lies there?

Them: “So… Ms. Eng Leang, would you say you are hard to manage?”

Me: “No of course not! I just get on with it.”

All my former managers would be cracking up, because I am hard to manage, but I am not going to admit to that, am I?

‘Dating-site’. Synonym for Desperation?

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The main reason that people shy away from dating websites is the desperation associated with it, and the threat of meeting someone who is full of lies.

Desperation? I see some women going out in skirts that look like tied a handkerchief around their waste, or tops that leave nothing for the imagination. Now that is desperation!

Or what about men who do push ups before they go out to pump their pecs up? Or borrow a friend’s car because it is nicer than theirs. Or say that they get along with their mother because they feel that is what all women want to hear.

Desperation – a word of many forms. The desperation to not be judged;  The desperation to get the right kind of attention from the right kind of person. If you feel the need to do these things – then you are desperate to try things to get attention. Sure, the argument is that you are a grown woman and you can dress however you want. That is true, very true, but why do it?

Because you want to show off your assets. So you put on a padded bra and five inch heels. Already you are exaggerating your height and your breast size. Your make up bag is filled with brightening serums, bronzers, concealers – again hiding the true way you look.

What about women who get breast implants? Why? Because you want bigger boobs. Why? Breast size doesn’t affect the success rate of breast feeding, so it can’t be that.  It is because you want to look more attractive – for yourself, and to the opposite sex – or same sex if that floats your boat.

Can’t all of these things been seen as white lies, those ‘little things’ that we do to alter our appearance in order that we appear more attractive

Now I am not saying to grow the hair under our armpits and go out dressed in a brown paper bag, but what I am getting at is for us to be more lenient with online dating, and the exaggerations some people use on their profile.

Marketing 101

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We are selling ourselves when we are single. It’s an advertising campaign. And the same way a creative agency will prepare a campaign to ensure market penetration is the same way you should prepare your “dating campaign” to ensure, well, penetration. A big part of any campaign is defining your demographic and online dating can help you achieve this.

At the very least, you will be able to say that you tried something different and made a friend or two. What have you got to lose?

I am sure many of you reading this have had unprotected sex at least once in your life and THAT was a much bigger risk that trying an online dating site.

Mimi out.

Photo: Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Got M.I.L.F.?

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I’m standing in the grocery at the cash register, searching through my purse so I could give the cashier come coins – they seem to multiply in the bottom of my bag, but the dollars never do. I am feeling these eyes upon me, but I pay them no mind,  since I am very aware that I create a striking  picture. I mean at thirty-two, I look much younger than I am. Gotta love those good genes. I’m a little under 5ft tall, about a size one, and the mother of an eight year old. I try as much as my extra cash will allow me to keep looking like I still got it .

I was confronted by a young man who was so avidly admiring me, and was visibly thrown six feet when he turned to his peer and said, “Look, M.I.L.F.”

I thought I’d heard wrong, and it was really “look MILK” he had said, and I spent the ride home in the taxi wondering what the heck he meant by referring to me as a cow.

At home, I asked my younger brother about it, and he began to laugh at me. In fact he was ROTF. I was oblivious to what caused him to break into thunderous laughter at the fact that I was MILK.

When he eventually got himself together, and heard the whole story, he straightened his face and told me that it was not “MILK”, the young man was refering to but “M.I.L.F.” - A Mother he would Love to F…

What the HELL?

I was enraged. How dare he?! I mean … I was… I was… wait? I was … exactly that… by his opinions anyways.

STEUPS.

Another younger brother was with me at the time, and was very vocal that he found it gross that this idiot boy could see me as that, since clearly I was just his homely big sister. Silly little boy. What the hell does he know ?  He crazy? I am one hot mama.

But I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that someone could refer to me as such – I found it a little degrading and a bit annoying. I mean what woman wants to be reminded that her life is practically over and what they are saying to me is

“despite the fact that you’ve had a child, and are above thirty – I’d have sex with you anyway”

Flattering? I think not.

Apparently in England the term is “yummy mummy” but it normally refers to the set of young women who are mummies, but not over the age of thirty. Thirty seems to make mummies less yummy. Go figure.

More research told me that in some cultures the ‘Hot Mama’ was a ‘Bad’ Mama, a mother concerned more with her looks than with her children/spouse.

Then I asked some other males, and they informed me that I should be flattered, that rather it was a compliment and stop itching about it. That it wasn’t that they would sleep with me despite my age, but rather I was like an old wine that got better with age. Yay me!

I still don’t want to be a M.I.L.F.

Flattering as it may seem at first, I am a damn good mother and just because I happen to be blessed with my parent’s good genes, and look younger than my age, doesn’t mean that I am a bad parent, or as the term suggests – but doesn’t actually say – a woman of loose morals, who just happens to have a child/children.

Nor have I lost my mind and am going to even tolerate or entertain the notion of returning the eye of the young man packing groceries at the end of the counter, since because there is no way I am going to take someone else’s baby and make them my ‘boychildfriend’. I already have one child, who wants another snotty nose to wipe?

There is a reason I grew up. It’s so that I would have some experience to look back at and maybe share with the younger ones. I don’t believe that this experience sharing extends to sex.

I don’t believe that my worth is diminished by the amount of circles my tree trunk has either. In fact, I become more worthy the more experienced I become.

And so I have a new name for myself. I’m a W.O.W – a Woman of Worth… now THAT’S flattering!

Forward ever

Broken vs. Experienced

Aren’t we all broken?
I beg to differ. No we all are not.

This is not to say that we all haven’t endured some things that we rather wouldn’t have, or haven’t been down and out on our ‘luck’ at times, but there is a gaping cavity  between being broken and being experienced.

One is a reactive mentality and one is a proactive mentality.

One leans toward pessimism and one leans toward optimism.

Broken

If you carry it around with you and let it speak for you, you are broken.

When you are broken, you haven’t yet gotten past those bad experiences that you’ve had. You judge others by your past life and find difficultly in trusting others even though you know that you have no valid reason not to in that specific instance.

When you are broken everyone knows that you’ve been through an ordeal. People can see your past written all over you – in your posture, the way you carry yourself and hear it in the words you speak into your life and into the lives of others. Your entire outlook on life is gloomy. Nothing excites you. You take life as it is dealt you, and you merely survive.

Experienced

If you’ve learned lessons from all the lemons that you’ve tasted, and are a better person for it, can see life in a different way and understand how to enjoy life, the good and the bad… then you are experienced.

To be experienced is to have lived and have learned. It involves having acknowledged what came or is coming your way, and finding a way to deal with it – to get past it, and press forward in your life rather than wallow in the juicy sour puddles. It does not involve being shaped fully by your past negative vibes, or by what others expect of you, but to be a product of what you expect yourself to be.

It’s moving past the trials. Moving past the sometimes undesirable history that is all a part of this trial and error that is sometimes called life.

No one gets everything right on the first try. No-one. No matter how intelligent, gifted, talented, wealthy or charismatic you are, No one gets everything right on the first try.

So yes, there is a difference.

Which are you?

Freakin’Fabulous

Photo Credits: Wesley Williams/ My 365

Dying for fashion

I’ve just come out of hiding. You know this. But I keep seeing something that makes me want to run right back  into my secret hiding place, until it all goes away. What the hell is up with ‘skinny’ jeans, ON MEN?

I mean, I am something near to disgusted when I see this ungodly trend. I don’t know what it is like outside the wonderful cocoon that I like to call Trinidad, but I went to a band launching this year and I was appalled and worried at the same time to see all these ‘skin-tight’ jeans on men. Especially the young men. Never have I ever been so happy to be my own age (especially when I’m considered a MILF – a degrading, but somehow flattering term I will touch on at some point.)

I see these young men strutting around, and the pants are so tight,  TOO tight. My girlfriend had to point out  to me that some of these little boys (cause no Grown man would would wear these fashion DON’TS on purpose; they’d be aware of the risks) are actually wearing  women’s jeans, which just is just bordering on insane.

Some other trends that throw me for a loop are the:

1. Grilles.
   Gold/ silver/ diamond encrusted/ platinum teeth coverings
2. Excessively baggy pants.
   that are so large that they would not ever fit even with a belt
3. Underwear that is purposefully on display.
4. Tonnes of gold, silver and platinum jewelery around the neck
5. Earrings that are ridiculously large and/ or way too heavy for any earlobe to handle .
   Both the diamonds, real or fake, and the ones that stretch the earlobes to gargantuan proportions.
6. Full body tattoos with no meaning to the individual whatsoever other than, “I liked the design“

I can go on forever.

But the one that really worries me is the tight pants on fellas. I mean is this the end of the human race as we know it? Do they really know the consequences of these choices?

Even I know that there is a reason that the Almighty put the family jewels in a little sack AWAY from the body. It is because the normal body heat of the human being can hamper sperm production.

HMM…

I am actually a little happy about this since I have two younger brothers who have fallen prey to this fad:. It means that should they put Jesus out of their thoughts and do the nasty without protection, at least the little swimmers will be at a distinct disadvantage. For some men its reversible, but who wants to test that theory?

This trend is so worrisome to me that, as per usual, I just had to do a little more research to see what are the possible repercussions of squeezing and suffocating the man jewels. The list was shocking. Aside from the reduction in sperm production that I already knew, I read about hip displacement, strange bowel movements, nerve damage…

I mean we ladies wear the high heels, but that isn’t screwing around with our reproductive systems. This is serious people!

Then too, it doesn’t even look good. I am sorry but I don’t find it sexy to see tight-@ss jeans down to the ankles, drawers hanging out AND converse sneaks. YUCK!  Beenie man is an entertainer , who needs the attention and so can wear that nonsense and get away with it. It’s like Lady Gaga – you don’t see me wearing period coloured lingerie.

So the choice is yours fellas. Die for fashion or Live with sense. If you plan on having kids, you will be thankful that you chose the latter.

Forward Ever

This Mix is Freakin’Fabulous | Ep. 1

Mondays never sounded so good.

Press play and cut a rug. (more…)

Grains of Hope

Grains of Hope | Wesley Williams

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Earlier this year I was the recipient of a letter from our resident stork. It kindly informed me that I was going to be a mama (again) and that I should probably believe the two red lines in the pregnancy test that did say that I was preggers.  (more…)

Life after the distance

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I’ve said my piece on long distance relationships (LDRs). No, I am not a fan, but yes, as I stated, there are instances where it may transition into a realtime relationship successfully, however this process takes at least just as much effort, and it is a lot more complex than people imagine initially.

In my opinion, this transition works best when two whole, emotionally fit people come together. Any cracks in the amour – the needy, the commitment-o-phobe, the serial relationship-er for example, as was mentioned in this article here, will be exposed and the transition will not last as long as the Red House fire.

You’ve managed to soldier through it, you’ve made your plans to unite at said time and the time is drawing near. How do you prepare for such a change?

First things first you don’t just ups, drop your life as you know it, and move. Noone ever tells the end of the fairytale story to riding off in the sunset on a horse like that. Know why? Because it always ends disastrous, and noone wants their kids to see that, so the story ends there.

Change that is that simple and drastic never works. Even with the most successful change, people, including you, need time to adapt.

What’s the best way to make the transition? My top 3 tips.

1. You BOTH have to move. Period.

Packing up and moving your life is stressful; one of the most stressful things you can experience in life. As a matter of fact, it’s ranked up there with death in the family, changing careers, divorce, and yes, marriage. Pure stress.

Even if only one is moving countries, the other person should do some moving of some sort – move apartments, neighbourhoods, states – SOMETHING, so that you BOTH have the feeling of dealing with displacement. I say this not to make lives unnecessarily miserable, but that both people are required to adapt and figure out this thing called life together rather than just one, the one who’s moved.

It’s less of a transition initially for the person who hasn’t moved, as everything is familiar – the neighbourhood, their friends, their routine. Trying to fit something new into something routine will always bring conflict, and so the person who hasn’t moved will feel the transition somewhere further down the relationship timeline, and as such the adaptation timing will be out of sync.

Also, and more importantly for me, when both people move, noone has any right to any property. Noone is ‘displaced’, and so there is no accidental talk about ‘my’ closet and ‘my’ apartment. Dem dere is fighting words son/ m’am. We are all aware that statements such as these are no-nos – Noone wants to hear or make that slip, but it will come out in the heat of an argument. Guaranteed.

2. Maintain your independence

Particularly important in relationships where most of the relationship has been LD, and you have never been in the same space with the person before, far less lived with them.

It is going to be very difficult for you if you are the one who’s moving to a new location, so it is imperative that you find out as much about the place as possible before your final move. Visit it if you can, look it up online, do your research. Check out possible job opportunities, or schools even if you are into that thing, or around that age.  Check out things that you can do, alone or together, depending on the dynamics of your relationship, and keep yourself occupied.

It took dedicated focus to make the LDR work, and trust that the work does not stop when you unite location wise. If anything else, the work has just started cause you now have to figure out how to exist with this person in your space 24-7.

3. Have a support network

OUTSIDE of your significant other. Enough of the fairy tales already, it can’t be both of you guys against the world. This world is entirely too small for that nonsense. It wasn’t like that in the LDR and it isn’t going to work like that in the long term in your realtime relationship. Initially perhaps, but ‘forever’ is a long time and so that initial euphoria gets stale real fast – 6 months to a year tops, sooner for most. After that, real life starts to creep in and you have real life issues and challenges to deal with – You both need people.

Do not alienate the people who supported you before. There may be a natural tendency to just place everything on the back of your pardner or when you feel that you are overwhelmed but we aren’t camels and so it takes very few straws for said back to break before even bending. It didn’t happen whole relationship long, so don’t expect that strategy to work overnight. It wouldn’t.

b Freakin’Fabulous

Photo: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Perfecting the Art of Being Ignored

Long distance relationships, (LDRs). Most of us have done one at some point or another. Me? I am no exception. I’ve been in one long distance relationship longer than I’ve been in all my realtime relationships altogether, so I’ve learnt a thing or two about LDRs. I’ve learned that I’m not a fan.  My thoughts? Don’t do it. Get out when you can, cut your losses, move on and save yourself the stress, expense and impending heart break.

Essentially, in my view, long distance relationships help you perfect the art of being a-o-k with being ignored.

“Ride or die”

Roight.

Something about that concept seems a whole lot more enticing when you are a teenager and the ‘die’ part isn’t a reality teetering on your doorstep. After a certain age, you tend not to throw that ‘die’ word around too much, cause it just might happen. Who the hell really wants to die when there so so much more of life to be lived? Hellz Naw. Sheeeeeeeeet.

After a certain age, “Ride solo” becomes a much more viable option than “die”.

First things first, LDs will never work indefinitely. Don’t just opt to enter into a LDR without any specific talk of when both parties will eventually re/unite. Just met and think talk of ‘commitment’ is too soon? Therein lies the first and only waving red flag you will ever need; for everything after that is downhill.

When to call it quits:

1. When the time you have been in a long distance relationship is longer than the sum time that you have ever existed together in the same space.

2. If you aren’t married, and therefore don’t legally have to subject yourself to abject loneliness.

That said, I do think LDRs serve some purpose, just not the purpose of fulfilling the ‘happily ever after’ plot. LDRs probably work best when a firm relationship foundation has been established  and, in true fine form, life rares it’s head and demands that one partner be away for a period of time, a year perhaps, because of work maybe, but said individual will. Be. Back for [other] contractual reasons.

There must be a plan, Stan. This is not backpacking in Europe. Roughing it just wouldn’t cut it, for you will find yourself stranded in Relationship’s harsh desert with nothing but mirages in sight for miles.

For example, long distance relationships are ideal for:

1. The commitment-o-phobe.

Not to be confused with the ‘single, independent and I like it that way’s, but the commitment-o-phobes – those of us who enjoy the highs of being in a relationship but are freaked out by the sheer permanence of it.

If you fall into this category, then you absolutely score with LDRs. You get to be in a relationship without actually having to be in, or move like you are in one. Ever. You can come, go, and stay where and as you please. For all intents and purposes, you are single, for all but 2-4 weeks of the year when you actually see your [alleged] significant other. The time is such a hot minute, that no-one in your camp has to either know that the person who is visiting you has a ‘special status’, or conversely, that you have gone missing. There is no lingering body trailing you anywhere consistently, and so you are under no pressure to explain anything or introduce anyone to …. anyone, period.

Rather, you get to have an out-of-town fantasy whenever, and only as, it suits you best. Brilliant.

2. The needy

You get to bore somebody to death with the mundane happenings of your day, good, bad or indifferent. Because the person doesn’t see you often, s/he will feel less likely to either say they are busy or worse, hang up on you, stuff that will metaphorically happen in real life.

The upside to being on the other end of the telephone conversation is that you don’t really HAVE to listen or pay attention. Cause unlike a face-to-face convo, your reaction and body language isn’t being monitored so you don’t have to cater. You can do whom or whatever else you please on the other end. No worries.  Just put that phone on speakerphone already, say your “hmmms”, “ooohs” and “really?s” and get on with with your life.

3. The serial relationship-er

Those of us who physically cannot live without being in a relationship. This way, although it may be option Y, it’s still better than option Z – being alone, because of course having someone in the figment of your imagination is lots better than the thought of being ‘alone’.

If you do not fall into any one of these categories, you stand to gain very little from being in an LDR. In this case even the thought of an LDR is hive inducing, which is probably why you have figured out that you’d rather be single than in a LDR.

b Freakin’Fabulous

Photo: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Grrrrrrr. Bring it.

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I’ve never been much of a gym person, but I do believe in the Sexy. I’ve realized that it’s a lot more difficult to exhibit the Sexy by just waking up and existing, like I did back in the day. Way more difficult. I played sports in highschool, so even if back then I didn’t consider it a work out, my body was well conditioned.

After life stepped in and I wasn’t engaged in sports full time anymore, I decided to take my first step in the gym, i.e. paid gym membership with a personal trainer and what not. I was maybe about 27, but who’s counting, especially as I’m now 25.

That lasted a few months, but then after switching countries and careers, gym membership definitely presented itself as a luxury that I could have no longer afforded. Making the best use of the resources around me seemed like a more productive plan, and so I placed a call to my self-discipline life line, as I knew then I’d really have to dig deep to make this rickety rack work. It wasn’t exactly starting from scratch; I figured that after 9 or so months of having a personal trainer, surely I could have done something on my own.

After shelling out all of that moolah, I must have learned SOMETHING. I only now had to figure out what that something was.

Lets see, I had a good idea of a variety of different workouts that target specific muscle groups, I had been trained on pushing myself until exhaustion, and understood that intervals work and that muscle confusion is the most efficient route to see results. I had learned that the same muscle group shouldn’t be targeted everyday, and that there is a different heart beat per minute range, depending on whether your goal is cardio or fat loss. I had learned about keeping the proper form, and that your ego will injure you if you take on more weight than you are capable of working, at the expense of this said form. I learned a lot and knew then to myself that I could have made it work.

The plan was to run along the beach in San Juan, Puerto Rico (surely there are worse things in life) on mornings before class at least thrice a week, and engage in some strength training activity utilizing:

1. my body weight

2. a stability ball

3. various dumbells and

4. a resistance band

My diet/ nutrition was always pretty solid, so that wasn’t too much of a stretch for me to not undo all the work that I put in daily. I worked and I saw results; I was a happy camper.

But as always, life happens… more. I moved again, had some other lemons tossed in the mix, so the workouts suffered a bit (read a lot), but my diet/ nutrition always remained solid enough for me to not have to completely change my wardrobe, until I eventually got back into my groove.

So now that I got back into the groove, I felt like I wanted more. More of what I wasn’t not sure, but there was that looming plateau feeling. Gym membership is still not a viable option, not so much the money this time, but more the time. Where am I really going to find 1 hour every day, possibly more considering transit time, to dedicate to the gym as a gainfully employed, full time single parent, living in a foreign country i.e. no tanty and nenen to help care for mini-me free of charge. More like $10.50/ hour, thank you very much.

Even if that was possible, I probably couldn’t manage the terms and conditions anyways.

So, as if my life wasn’t challenging enough, I decided this week to take my fass self and start the p90x programme. Yes, there’s been much ado about it over the past year or so , and so far I have at least a half trailer load of friends who sing it’s praises, about a handful of whom I’ve seen some serious results that have made me really wonder what it is about the program that is so effective.

Obviously I’ve had my reservations about it – exercise DVDs are out there a dime a dozen. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you get moving and swallow less energy than you expend, you are going to see some sort of result or the other over time, so I was never really moved by crazy exercise and fad diets. Still, I decided why not? You want results then you gotta try something different. That’s my loose adaptation of something some enlightened person said regarding success, or achievement, or… something similar.

Anywhos, 3 days into the programme, if it was not for the positive difference  that I already feel in my body and my energy levels, I would have surely tossed the DVDs one side as it has thoroughly wiped the floor with my tail. Twice.

I’d like to think that I have at least a decent level of fitness, but this thing right here is no joke. It’s not impossible, but to say that it’s difficult would be a gross understatement. Sure it looks easy when Tony does it, but trying to figure out how to get your body to control itself like that takes you a moment or two. Talk about getting schooled. p90x is definitely not for the beginner. It is recommended that you have achieved some level of fitness before starting the programme, and for good reason. It is ballistic. It requires core strength, endurance, flexibility and most of all, bad mind.

This is no Sunday stroll, it ain’t no walk in the park, feed the dolphins deal; there is an ‘x’ in the brand name for a reason. Xtreme, i.e. forget whatever you thought you knew before, it’s not going to help you in this round. I haven’t reached the legs workout yet and already moving from standing to sitting is a fantastically painful transition.

Still, I’m excited.

I feel blood pumping through my body in places I never knew had a function. My energy is at an all time high, and I’ve been less prone to those mini-depression slumps that I tend to fall into every now and then, and I’m looking forward to finishing Phase 1 with some sort of result to put on display, as I celebrate myself come June.

I had no intention of announcing this to the world, but a good friend or mine, and fellow p90x-er (the individual who facilitated me trying it) reminded me that this was one of the reasons why I started GlamityCalamity in the first place – the ins and outs, highs and lows of finding and maintaining the Sexy that works for you.

Plus, he had to slip in there that if I put myself on blast that I’d be less inclined to fall off the band wagon, cause I do neither shame nor failure gracefully. So fine, it’s out. I hope you’re at least slightly amused SP!… NO PRESSURE! None at all.  Thanks for the support and here’s to me stunting at home come Christmas time when I see you guys again.

To all my p90x ‘veterans’, this is a subtle reminder that it’s p90x, not p900x. The programme only takes ninety days y’all, what’s the deal? It’s been more than that since I’ve last seen you guys and from all your FB pics you don’t look any different. STEP IT UP and get back on the truck before I put you to shame. Consider that your warning. To all my peeps who will be soon joining me on this trek, I salute you. Can’t wait to swap the b!tchslap agony stories that are sure to soon follow.

b FreakinFabulous

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