The Frog Prince | Is that YO’ man?

Sitting in a car stuck in traffic, my attention is caught by a small, but noticeable brawl happening in the car next to me. The driver of the car was being verbally whipped by his female companion.

Chick: “Wa yuh watching she so for eh!?“

Dude: “Baby, I wasn watching nobody.”

Chick: “Yes! ah see yuh! yuh was watching that skinny Bi-atch. Yuh fine she nice, eh?”

Two slap pelt.

Chick: “Eh? eh? whey she is? lemme firetruck she up.”

I have to admit the ish was funny, I mean who doesn’t like a little gridlock drama to break up the monotony of the red-light that will not turn.

But  when their car pulled up level with mine and she started cursing ME? Well that was a different set of laughter altogether. Why was she angry with me? What did I do? Driving off, the last I saw, chick was jumping out the car to get over to the driver’s side.

I didn’t think about it much, until I was forced to remember the episode when I was at dinner later that same week.

Now, first things first, you know this diva. She don’t leave her house looking like no VIT [Vagrant in Training]. Skinny Jeans, nice shirt and, since I really liked the fella who was taking me out, he was worthy of me bringing out the big guns –  SLAMMIN’ heels.

Oblivious to anyone other than my my date, I take my seat, and the night begins on a lovely note.

Enter twenty minutes, and I become conscious of not one but two pairs of eyes glaring at me. Two ladies, both on their own dates, are giving me LEVEL cut eye. They’re strangers to one another and they are unaware of each other, but from my vantage point I can see that this is not going to turn out well if I am not careful. Simply because, try as they hard as they could, their male counterparts are trying not to look as if they are looking at me, and one idiot just gave up the fight and stared at me without any thought for his companion.

Now, please do not think that I am standing on a corner toot-toot-tooting on my little rusty horn. I am by no means a pagent queen, and would be the first to tell you that I ain’t no exotic beauty. I should have known that those shoes would have that kind of effect on men. They were my CFMs/ FMPs, [if you are unsure about what THAT is click here] and NO MAN can resist.

But I get away from my topic.

I am wondering why it is that we ladies are quick to attack another woman, an innocent woman, just because she exists, when the problem is clearly the fault of the toads we sometimes try to turn into princes?

How is it my fault that their MAN (temporary or not) does not respect them. I have been there too, sitting in the front seat of a car and my companion is distracted by a pair of long legs or a buxom beauty. Out comes the tongue, looney tunes style, eyes bug out on springs, and the hearts fly above the ears. The brave ones (or the stupid ones – you pick) may even go so far as to say:

“Pssst, O lord gyal, yuh sexy too bad! MMM! Ah HONG-gry!“

If I am out on a date, or its my BF, then I find some way to politely remind him that I am still breathing beside him, and then I either let this disaster take its course and remind myself that I am quite capable of taking a taxi, head for the hills, never again to return.

Ladies: Life Lesson # 456.

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Never tolerate your date/boyfriend disrespecting you in any way whatsoever.

Take into consideration, however, that if he takes a peep, without hurting your feelings. He’s trying. After all he ain’t dead or blind. But at least he has taken into consideration that you are there beside him and he is  aware that you have feelings. Never make a scene. You are just opening the door for him to disrespect you some more. Possibly to give his card to the lady he was oogling when you leave to go to the bathroom, having just written you off as drama he could do without.

And, # 678,

Never EVER blame the other woman.

Unless she sashays brazenly over to the table where you are sitting enjoying your meal, looking at each other all googly-eyed, drinking your champagne, all arms curled, you know honeymoon style, Unless she offers her self to him and makes and holds eye contact with your stallion, inviting him to mount, Unless she takes out her boob and flings it at him thereby catching and keeping his attention, you need to be taking out whatever vexation you have on your man.

Rinse and Repeat.

YOU accepted the responsibility of training a toddler, didn’t you?

You, my friend, are the one who chose this poor excuse for a human being, and let him share the divine castle that is your life. You saw the signs; you know how he do. What you fretting with the innocent for?

In fact, I’d even go so far as to say: It’s YOUR issue. Take it up with yourself.

Because you are the one who is sending the message that you are not worthy of being treated like the ‘princess’ that you obviously think you are. Wake up! If you have kissed this frog a thousand times and he still doesn’t go POOF! and turn into the handsome, gallant prince – smoke, mice and footman included – see him for what he is, a toad, gather him up, and take him back to the sewer where you found him. *splish!* He’s home now, and believe me he’s happy.

But if you keep him *smile* and he treats you the only way he knows how being a toad from the sewer, i.e. like ish, then who’s fault is that? The hot W.O.W. wearing the killer heels, sitting with her own Prince, who incidentally is not looking anywhere else but at her object of affection, who couldn’t be bothered with the chicken heads.

“No ma’am sorry but I don’t feel like chicken today. How about a rump roast, medium rare, sauce on the side please and thank you.”

And resumes staring lovingly at his companion? My fault? NOOOO. Its YOUR fault baby, for not reading GC more often, and applying the tips we share every damn day for cleaning out your closet.

Trust me, these dramatic displays of emotion never do anything but paint you as the needy, emotionally unbalanced, grasping, human being you are, [or are not].

Try this instead:

In carefully modulated tones, and with the sweetest smile that you can conjure up on your face, say:

“Um, hey hun – are you about to go give her your number? Cause if you are, let me give her for you. I was just thinking that you two would make a lovely couple. She is so your type.

Sooo…  Should we order now?”

And then make a mental note to call your friend when you get to the ladies, and see if they still wanna hit the club after this dinner is over, cause if homeboy don’t realize that you are Fabulously Fierce, then he deserves to be left behind, sitting next to his sewer waiting for his next victim to come along and mistake him for a Frog Prince.

Let someone else handle that mess.

Forward ever.

Dying for fashion

I’ve just come out of hiding. You know this. But I keep seeing something that makes me want to run right back  into my secret hiding place, until it all goes away. What the hell is up with ‘skinny’ jeans, ON MEN?

I mean, I am something near to disgusted when I see this ungodly trend. I don’t know what it is like outside the wonderful cocoon that I like to call Trinidad, but I went to a band launching this year and I was appalled and worried at the same time to see all these ‘skin-tight’ jeans on men. Especially the young men. Never have I ever been so happy to be my own age (especially when I’m considered a MILF – a degrading, but somehow flattering term I will touch on at some point.)

I see these young men strutting around, and the pants are so tight,  TOO tight. My girlfriend had to point out  to me that some of these little boys (cause no Grown man would would wear these fashion DON’TS on purpose; they’d be aware of the risks) are actually wearing  women’s jeans, which just is just bordering on insane.

Some other trends that throw me for a loop are the:

1. Grilles.
   Gold/ silver/ diamond encrusted/ platinum teeth coverings
2. Excessively baggy pants.
   that are so large that they would not ever fit even with a belt
3. Underwear that is purposefully on display.
4. Tonnes of gold, silver and platinum jewelery around the neck
5. Earrings that are ridiculously large and/ or way too heavy for any earlobe to handle .
   Both the diamonds, real or fake, and the ones that stretch the earlobes to gargantuan proportions.
6. Full body tattoos with no meaning to the individual whatsoever other than, “I liked the design“

I can go on forever.

But the one that really worries me is the tight pants on fellas. I mean is this the end of the human race as we know it? Do they really know the consequences of these choices?

Even I know that there is a reason that the Almighty put the family jewels in a little sack AWAY from the body. It is because the normal body heat of the human being can hamper sperm production.

HMM…

I am actually a little happy about this since I have two younger brothers who have fallen prey to this fad:. It means that should they put Jesus out of their thoughts and do the nasty without protection, at least the little swimmers will be at a distinct disadvantage. For some men its reversible, but who wants to test that theory?

This trend is so worrisome to me that, as per usual, I just had to do a little more research to see what are the possible repercussions of squeezing and suffocating the man jewels. The list was shocking. Aside from the reduction in sperm production that I already knew, I read about hip displacement, strange bowel movements, nerve damage…

I mean we ladies wear the high heels, but that isn’t screwing around with our reproductive systems. This is serious people!

Then too, it doesn’t even look good. I am sorry but I don’t find it sexy to see tight-@ss jeans down to the ankles, drawers hanging out AND converse sneaks. YUCK!  Beenie man is an entertainer , who needs the attention and so can wear that nonsense and get away with it. It’s like Lady Gaga – you don’t see me wearing period coloured lingerie.

So the choice is yours fellas. Die for fashion or Live with sense. If you plan on having kids, you will be thankful that you chose the latter.

Forward Ever

Cavities, Fat and Wrinkles

We are all more than familiar with the addictive power of sugar. Despite the fact that increased sugar consumption has been associated with increased blood sugar levels, which can result in the storage of excess fat, studies have shown that the average American consumes about 150 pounds of sugar, per year. Talk about sweet nothings! (more…)

Natural Sexy vs. Science Sexy

Spy vs. Spy

The ‘Natural’ bandwagon is hugantic. It may not be the most sophisticated or fun at times, but damn, the hype that surrounds it is hella huge. Marketers have caught on to this trend, and are milking it for all it’s worth *squirt *squirt Yummy.

On the other hand, although science has helped us greatly, the term ‘synthetic’ has taken quite a hit at the expense of all things ‘natural’. People love to give the natural vs. synthetic ultimatum, but is it at all necessary? Can’t we all just get along?

Is‘Natural’ necessarily always good, and is ‘Science’ necessarily always bad?

Yes? No? Maybe so?

Science & skin care

With respect to skin care, rather than just assessing the situation stereotypically, perhaps taking a deeper look at the ingredients in the skin care products may be a more productive argument.

Natural Skin Care Ingredients

Natural is great. There is this feeling of wild abandon that accompanies the thought of ‘au naturel’. “Clean”. “Simple”.  ”Fresh”. “Good for you”.

However, as with everything else in life, ‘good’ things usually do not last forever. Under the right conditions, natural things are known to rot, decay, or otherwise disintegrate in quality. For example, with respect to plants, fruits, veges – typical sources for most natural skin care ingredients – there is only a small window that’s considered ‘prime for picking’, so one must take this into consideration, especially when a cleanser or moisturizer will typically sit on your shelf for at least 6 months, or longer depending on the product in question.

Things to consider for natural products:

~ Using natural ingredients directly

Of course there is the argument that you can just pick something off the tree and slap it on your face.

If you live in such a place where you can do this I truly envy you, for that used to be me. Womp. For the rest of us, we can hardly eat fruits and vegetables these days without being shot up with pesticides, so want to put that on your face too?

Remember, ‘natural’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘organic’. ‘Organic’ is the one where certain pesticides (not all) are required to be absent. No such is the case with ‘natural’, don’t believe the hype.

~ Nature differs from batch to batch.

This means that you can buy one batch of product that not only has a different colour from your previous batch, but the strength of the particular active ingredient can be different also.

This is not a leather bag we are talking about, where the value and character of the product is heightened by the fact that there is a huge ‘imperfection’ (their term not mine), for which you are expected to pay the not-so-little extra for. It’s not that kind of party with skin care; we don’t go out of our way to look for imperfections in products, but rather we try to minimize them.

In some products this lack of apparent quality control is not a deal breaker. If a product doesn’t contain any ingredients that are considered ‘active’ (read ‘results’) by the FDA, then it really doesn’t matter if you use a product or water.

However, in that expensive serum that derives it’s antioxidant function from those ‘berries’, it might be a problem if the super star ingredient, the Vitamin C say from the berries, is as effective as the ones in the serum that doesn’t contain Vitamin C. Yeah… might wanna check that.

~ Stability of natural substances outside of their environment

Talking about Vitamin C, it’s known to be a powerful antioxidant – it protects the skin from sun damage and helps slow down the physical signs of aging…  yadda yadda yadda, but it’s not very stable once exposed to air, a couple minutes max.

All that freshly squeezed orange juice you just made? Most of the good stuff (Dr. C) just poofed* vanished before you’ve finished mixing the ingredients together. I used to be called “Juice Mixer” in university (Chem. Eng.) by all the other engineers so, trust me, not that I’d like to recall the name calling but, I’d know

With this understanding, Vitamin C in it’s natural form is not going to do much for your skin sitting in a jar for a couple months. It’s usually also quite acidic in nature wherever it’s found (oranges, lemons etc.) so putting that right there on your face is its going to do an excellent job of stripping your skin’s protective barrier, dehydrating your skin and leaving it more susceptible to  harmful bacteria.

Fantastic? No.

So then, on to the next one. 

Synthetic skin care ingredients

The word chemical is not a synonym for dangerous.

According to the Oxford dictionary, a chemical (noun) is a substance that has been prepared, or purified, (usually) artificially.

You can concoct something that is dangerous or, you can prepare something that is effective, yet harmless.

Of course, there are dangerous chemical substances, but there are also dangerous natural ones. Cyanide anyone? One sugar or two?

So, for example, Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate, is a very stable form of Vitamin C – one that is stable enough to be used in skin care products. The skin’s enzymes then work to break down this ingredient into ascorbic acid, naturally found in most fruits like citrus and berries, which has been found to inhibit the formation of melanin (pigment) as well as assist collagen formation. 

Doesn’t make sense to pay the extra for active ingredients that aren’t… active, does it?

However this form of stable Vitamin C doesn’t just morph into a stable by it’s lonesome, it is the end product of research and development i.e. it is born out of a laboratory, and such is considered to be ‘synthetic’.

Why use synthetic ingredients?

So sure, it’s not for everybody, but if the proverbial horse has already bolted out the gate, the skin situation has long surpassed ‘preventative’ and you are actually looking to treat clear and present skin damage, i.e. if you are looking for results, you are going to need to look a little further than mother nature to help you in your mission to ‘age gracefully’. 

So perhaps the best bet is to take the best of what nature has to offer, and combine it with the best of what science brings. It’s a win-win situation.

The products last longer, there is less wastage, the ingredients remain active and are therefore more effective, and you get the value for your money. Everyone’s happy.

Food for thought:

It’s like that chick who is so blatantly hot, so much is on display even Stevie Wonder can see it, vs. the librarian chick. Everyone knows the immediate benefits of the blatant hottie. You can milk it almost immediately and get a great high albeit one that is, more likely than not, short lived.

Now enter the librarian. Sure, there’s a good chance that you may not live on the same planet, but there is an even greater chance that you may get longer lasting, stable, surprisingly flexible benefits, that comes with intelligence.

Moral of the story? Never underestimate the librarian.

b FreakinFabulous

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Time Lines

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Ain’t nothing like crepey hands to really jack up an otherwise youthful situation.

Your hands are one of the first places to age, and by age I mean get wrinkly, sallow looking, dehydrated, spotty/ hyper-pigmented (mixture of darker or lighter areas). All kinds of fun. All kinds of uber unfabulousness in the mix.

Right after the hands, a few other places that age pretty quickly are around the eyes (otherwise known as crows feet), the neck and the decollete/ chest area.

These parts age more quickly  because the skin in these areas are typically thinner than the skin on the face or the body perhaps, where the skin, and fat content primarily, are thicker.

As skin in general gets thinner and thinner as we age, these aforementioned areas are then already at a disadvantage. Noone said life is fair, but geeze. Cut a body part some slack.

Hands are even more particularly at risk with all the harsh hand/ dishwashing detergents we use daily, not to mention the incredibly stripping alcohol-based hand sanitizers we use so that we don’t make social with other people’s bacteria/ germs.

The following are some tips to help slow down the appearance of aging on the skin in the areas (around eyes, neck, decollete and hands) that are naturally prone to age faster than the rest of the body:

1. Moisturize hands after cleansing

Seems obvious, but judging from the number of people who don’t normally moisturize their body after having a shower, I’ll say it anyway.

2. Include your neck and decollete in every step of your usual skin care routine.

How many ever steps you already have – cleanse/ exfoliate/ mask/ tone/ moisturize.

3. Exfoliate hands.

In addition to the usual cleanse and moisturize steups that we follow with our hands, exfoliating hands helps refresh the skin, and helps impart a healthy glow. You can use a normal spherical/ micro-bead scrub or you can get fancy and use a gentle enzyme or hydroxy-acid exfoliating scrub.

The use of a super hydrating hand moisturizer, after cleansing (and exfoliating, if applicable) the hands helps replace the moisture that is often lost by (often harsh) cleansers that we normally use for keeping our hands dirt/ germ-free.

4. Adopt a night time hand routine

If your hands are chronically dry and crepey, spritzing the back of your hands with toner after cleansing at night just before bed, then following with a thicker moisturizer with both hydrating (e.g. hyaluronic acid, sodium PCA, lactic acid, cucumber) and emollient ingredients (e.g. shea butter, aloe and squalene) will assist in combatting dehydration.

Silicones such as cyclomethicone and cyclopetasiloxan, as product ingredients, help seal in the moisture while allowing the skin to breathe, which is a ‘hell yes’ step-up from mineral oil.

5. Use a specialized cleanser and moisturizer for eyes.

That is, one that is specifically formulated for this delicate area.

If you are concerned with any fine lines and wrinkles that have already started appearing around the eye area, an eye cream that contains Vitamin C and a  minimum SPF 15 (for day) should be standard ingredients in your eye cream.

6. Include neck, decollete, and hands in your sunscreen application.

This is especially for those of us who drive and/ or are stuck in traffic in the beating hot sun. The sun’s UV rays filter right though the average windscreen, and take a toll on  hands that are tightly wrapped around the steering wheel.

FreakinFabulous

Photo Credits: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Skin Care | “Skin Vitamins”

Antioxidants.

How do they work and why are they an important part of an ‘anti-aging’ skin care system?

Simply put, antioxidants are substances that protect the skin against the damaging effect of free radicals,  i.e. unstable atoms that are generated by:

- Sunlight (UVA & UVB radiation)
- Pollution
- Smoke
- Stress
- Certain foods
- Drugs
- Exercise, etc. 

The presence of these free radicals not only assist causing disease, but they also accelerate the skin’s aging process. Antioxidants are substances that increase the body’s (or in this case the skin’s) defense against the damaging effect of free radicals. 

With the understanding that exposure to the sun accounts for 80% of the aging that we can prevent on our skin, it would seem that addressing this issue alone can go a long way to preserving the face we have for a few more years. 

Think it’s all hogwash? Maybe. 

How do ‘antioxidants’ work? 

Well, let’s see. Perhaps the best analogy would be the case of the apple.

Slice an apple in half. Leave one half exposed to the atmosphere for a few minutes and the other half you sprinkle some lemon juice on. What would happen?

You will notice a browning colour starting to appear on the exposed inner parts of the part of the apple .

However, what would happen if you were to drizzle some lemon juice over the other half of the apple and let it sit for a while? The result? Nada.

The original colour of the sliced apple is preserved, enabling you to still serve it to your guests after having it sit out for some time, or have your kids actually eat the apple at school rather than throw it away because it was ‘rotten’.

This browning process is called oxidation, and it’s the same thing happens to silver, or almost any other metal that is exposed to the atmosphere (the mixture of water and oxygen primarily) over time. Rust, for example, is the extreme case of a metal that’s been oxidized. Your skin is no different. Like the lemon, antioxidants in skin care assist in slowing down this ‘oxidzation’, which accelerates aging. 

Gold, platinum and palladium do not oxidize at room temperature, which is the reason they are used in jewelry and electronics. Stainless steel, titanium, tantalum and niobium are highly resistant to oxidation… not sure how I traveled so far on this tangent, so let me hop off here. 

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Back to the skin, this is not to say that you ought to put lime or lemon juice directly on your skin of course. Well you can, but that wouldn’t be very intelligent.

Lemon juice may work for the apple, but it is much more acidic than the natural pH of the skin’s surface. The skin’s natural barrier would be degraded leaving your skin more prone to, among a host of other things, increased dehydration (less moisture) and inflammation (more redness/ sensitivity) in skin, both of which accelerate the skin’s aging, which will bring you to square negative five (-5). 

So, as I said, not very intelligent move. 

However, Vitamin C is a very powerful, common antioxidant. So how can we capitalize it’s effect on our skin?

With the understanding that the Vitamin C that is freshly squeezed out of an orange breaks down before you can top up your tumbler and add that umbrella, a more stable form of Vitamin C needs to be packaged for use in skin care products. 

Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate (MAP) is a very stable form of Vitamin C, stable enough to be used in skincare. After all, we’ve all been told to up our Vitamin C intake to prevent the common cold, and to boost our immune system in general. 

In the same way, you can have  vitamins for the skin. These “Skin Vitamins” can be thought of as Antioxidants. 

Ingredients, Ingredients, Ingredients.

Some of the best antioxidant ingredients found in skin care (and their cosmetic ingredient names) are:

- White Tea (the most powerful) or Green tea (Camellia Sinensis)
- Soy (Glycine Soya Protein)
- Vitamin C (Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate and other Ascorbic Acid derivatives)
- Vitamin E (Tocopheryl Acetate)
- Licorice (Glycyrrhiza) 

The presence of any of the above in your skin care products, hopefully as one of the first few ingredients rather than the last, will assist in the fight against the damaging free radicals that your skin encounters from day to day. 

Because free radicals are also found inside the body, having a diet loaded with antioxidant foods will assist you immune system in general. And, as you thought I’d say, don’t forget the sunscreen, a minimum of SPF 15 daily.

b FiercelyFabulous.

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Photo: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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She got it from her mama

Humans are an interesting bunch. 

We are so technologically advanced at times, yet at the same time it’s amazing the things we accept as truth. “Anti-Aging” for example, must be one of the most overused words this decade, yet when you really think about is, is ‘anti-aging’ possible? 

No. 

A perfect example of marketing at it’s finest. 

Truth is, although aging (an alteration in structure, appearance and function of skin as taken in this context) cannot be prevented, it can be accelerated.

Aging is a continuous process that starts the day that you were born. It is one of life’s harshest realities; the degree of harshness of course, is dependent on many factors including both Skin Type (genetics) and Lifestyle (how you choose to live your life) – just how much you didn’t care about your skin in your 20s shows up in your 40s, if you’ve paced yourself socially, earlier if thought then that life was running away from you.

As you can imagine, there are many factors that influence how a person ages. These factors may be classified as being either Intrinsic or Extrinsic in nature. 

Intrinsic Aging refers to that which may be naturally expected to happen with time. It is said that 10% of our aging is intrinsic i.e. 10% of how we age is beyond our control and is affected by:

1. good old Father Time and

2. Genetics, that which your parents were so kind enough to give to you, like those allergies, and those toes.

A whooping 90% of our aging however, is extrinsic, meaning that it is under our control. Can you imagine that? Ninety percent.

What we eat, what we do, where we go and how we go there, as well as what we don’t eat, what we don’t do, where we don’t go and how we don’t go there can determine how well or how dreadfully awful we age. 

Extrinsic factors would include:

- Diet, nutrition and overall health

- Lifestyle

- Exposure to UVA and UVB radiation, like the sun’s rays)
- Smoking
- Excessive alcohol consumption
-  Stress
- Medication

- Environment, or other such external factors, for example if you injured yourself or otherwise did some damage to your skin. Or for example, if you live day in day out in metropolitan smog or if you live your life breathing in the fresh Caribbean breeze in some laid back tropical paradise. 

- Hormonal

As you may, or may not, imagine, a significant amount of extrinsic aging may be attributed to aging as a result of the damage that is done to the skin as a result of the over exposure to UV radiation, which is otherwise referred to as ‘photo-aging’, a state where the skin is irreparably damaged.

Photo-aging may occur on it’s own or as a result of other ‘lifestyle’ factors. For example, the heightened sensitivity to the sun’s UV rays that occurs within the skin when something like alcohol is ingested. Smoking, quite a few over the counter medications as well as poor nutrition can also make your skin more sensitive to the sun’s rays aka burn more easily when you are outdoors. 

So yes, she may have got it from her mama, but if she’s over 35 and can still get carded, best believe that there are a whole lot of other things that she, and her mama for that matter, have been doing right, like using a cleanser that’s an upgrade from soap perhaps, or using sunscreen… for starters.

be FiercelyFabulous.

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Anti-Aging Tip #6 

Pick-me-up

Finding the right pick up lines must be all kinds of baffling for guys because some can really screw up a perfect opportunity by doing or saying something insanely inappropriate.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, more than the phrase itself, the wrong delivery of the right intention can really tank a potentially good thing. Crash. And. Burn.

Guys, here are some tips for talking to/ asking out a lady stranger that you’re into, or perhaps one that you kinda-sorta-know-through-someone-else-but-not-really.

1. Go Standard

Don’t use ‘text’ talk. She’s neither going to understand you nor take you seriously. This applies largely to the women out there who are too busy with their daily responsibilities to be carrying on a conversation via text for the whole day.

As a result, don’t expect her to know all the acronyms and symbol combinations. Not to mention a sentence that appears to be a hodge podge mish mash of words, symbols and/ or numbers, in no particular order, doesn’t LOOK Sexy. 

Can’t spell standard English? Make a call.

And Facebook –  it has it’s time and it’s place. If you don’t know the lady in question, please don’t just send her a random message saying that you think she’s nice/ pretty/ <insert something shallow here>/ <insert something inappropriate here> followed up by a friend request. It’s a step up from sending a friend request on it’s own but it’s still not good enough to be acceptable. 

At least try to have a back and forth, aka a CONVERSATION, with her first and then move on to phase two of becoming ‘friends’. Why? ‘Cause doing otherwise it’s a tad stalkerish and a touch random, and that’s when you both have people in common. If you DON’T, then it’s just a ‘lot’ of the aforementioned. 

2. Channel Rico Suave

It’s all in the delivery, consider it a form of packaging. If is one thing that we have learnt within the past few years is this:

You can have the best thing in the world, if it doesn’t look right, no-one is going to want it. Alternatively, the worst, dumbest thing will fly off the shelf when appropriately packaged. 

1. If you are going to text or email a request:

TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK. THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO USE ALL CAPS FOR A SIMPLE REQUEST. A PROCLAMATION MAYBE, BUT NOT A REQUEST. USE ALL CAPS AND YOU WILL APPEAR TO BE SHOUTING OR TO BE, AT THE VERY LEAST, BORDERLINE ABUSIVE. AND…

2. Enough with the suspension dots…

Say what you mean…

and…

mean what you say…

and finish…

a complete thought…

all in one message will you?…

Thanks…

When/ if the relationship moves forward then maybe we can play tag.

3. Be simple

1. Regardless of what you’ve learnt from  TV, avoid using a cliche to say something that you want to get across on the real. 

“…i dnt tlk abt it, I b abt it… now wht i mean… ”

is not where it’s at. It’s also grammatically incorrect, and serves to only give the same reaction as #1. 

If you are going the comic route or for the ‘wow okay, that was weird’ reaction, then by all means, cliche away. 

2. Don’t reference body parts or bring Mothers (or Parents) into the mix; it’s a very awkward visual for us. 

5. Man up

It may work in your best interest to consider that lady friend of yours out to be a big deal, just so that you think about calling, or asking in person rather than via text.

If the lady in question just receives a random text/ message from you, it  can feel like an invasion of privacy for her when she is bombarded with the random request from an even more random individual.

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Dirty Little Secrets (Pt. 2)

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Further to the discussion on secrets that you ought not keep from your skin therapist, we will now address various conditions that require disclosure.

Although they may not entirely prevent you from having a skin/ body treatment, the presence of any of the following will mean, at the very least, a customization of the treatment. 

If you receive the treatment in full and ‘as is’ it is very possible that you either experience discomfort during the treatment or develop complications sometime down the road, after having left the facility.

The following is a common  list of ‘concerns’ and why it’s necessary that you disclose them to your skin therapist, and is by no means comprehensive.

Always consult with your doctor/ dermatologist before receiving any type of skin or body treatment. 

CONCERNS

In General

1. Diabetes

Because of the slow healing process and low sensation levels that is characteristic of diabetes:

- No metal extractions should be performed on these clients.

- No electrical equipment (e.g. high frequency and galvanic treatments) should be used as chances are that a diabetic client would not feel the sensations fully enough to give the skin care therapist enough feedback on what intensity is correct for him/ her. 

- The cuticles on the hand and feet of a diabetic should never be clipped in a manicure/ pedicure service. 

2. Heart Problems

Also applies if the client is wearing a pacemaker. 

- Head should be elevated during the treatment, to assist blood flow.

- No electrical equipment should be used as they may alter your heart rhythms.

- Heat levels in the treatment also need to be monitored

3. Epilepsy

- No electrical equipment is used

- No treatments involving flickering lights can be performed, e.g. IPL (Intense Pulsed Light). Additionally anything involving a flickering light, on or over the client, is avoided. This also means turning on the magnifying lamp before the client enters the room perhaps rather than over the clients face while he/she is on the treatment bed.

4. Cancer

Quite a few skin care treatments may only be performed on a client that has been free from cancer:

1. for at least 1 year AND

2. With a doctor’s note  from the doctor who is/ has been treating them for cancer

This is because, even the basic skin treatment involves movement of the blood and lymph fluids which is customarily not a good thing for cancer patients. 

5. Thyroid problems

- No electrical equipment may be used

6. Sinus conditions

- A focus on certain accupressure points by the skin therapist can help alleviate some of the discomfort felt by sinus conditions

7. Hormonal Imbalances

May explain

- breakouts on cheek and neck
- The presence of melasma (darkening or hyperpigmentation)
- Excessive hair growth

8. Braces and Dental work

This includes dental x-rays.

- There may be redness in the associated area as well as breakouts. The area is also generally dry and, in some instances, may appear flakey.

9. Diuretics and Laxatives

Diuretics are drugs or other substances that cause the increased passage of urine. Some substances other than drugs that are known diuretics are 
-Tea
- Coffee
- Alcohol

Both diuretics and laxatives may explain  a dehydrated state of the skin.

10. Medications

It is important to list all medications that you are taking, from multivitamins, fish oils, herbal supplements, prescription drugs, cialis, anti-depressants, epileptic meds you name it, this is not a time to be embarrassed about anything. 

Medications may explain anything from mild to extensively dehydrated skin, heightened sensitivity, breakouts, darkening or redness of the skin etc.

11. Stress Level

May be characterized by breakouts along the jawline and neck, as well as muscle tightness. 

12. Products currently using.

This is important on many levels

1. So that the skin care therapist has an idea of your routine, and how many products you are comfortable using.

For example if you are currently a ‘soap ‘n water’ client, your skin therapist would know that you need to be introduced to maybe just one or two products at a time, perhaps a cleanser and a moisturizer, rather than send you home with a day and night routine that requires the use of 7+ products.

2. If you are currently using any products with active ingredients like retinol or glycolic acid for example, your skin care therapist will select products that are suitable for use with these products.

3. Some clients use products with ingredients that actually worsen the condition that the client would like to improve. If this is the case, the skin therapist can suggest other products that contain ingredients that may be better suited for the client’s needs.

13. Implants

Metal plates or otherwise, as well as piercings.

- No electrical equipment is used, in the the case of piercings,metal pins or plates in or around the general area of the face.

This is because it is not impossible for metal plates/ pins to be dislodged with electrical activity.

- If the metal plates are in the feet, the skin therapist may proceed with caution. 

Areas with implants and piercings are avoided in massage treatments, because it can be comfortable for the client. 

14. Allergies

So that you don’t break out in hives after your treatment. Listing your allergies will ensure that your skin therapist knows to stay clear of any product that contains any ingredients that you are allergic to. 

Specifically Women

15. Pregnant or Lactating

Certain substances that may be used in skin care treatments, such as essential oils, have been shown to enter the blood stream; they have been found in excreted bodily fluids, such as urine.

As such, these substances, or products that contain these substances are eliminated from the skin care treatment so that they do not enter the milk produced by the mom or her womb, to reduce the risk of any potential harm to the unborn kid. 

16. Menstruation

The client is typically more sensitive to pressure/ pain so electrical equipment is avoided and light to medium pressure during the massage is used rather than firm. 

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As a result it is important your skin therapist take the time to do a thorough client consultation with you before each treatment, whether you are a new client or a returning one. 

If you are a returning client, the consultation may be shorter, but you still need to let the skin therapist know of any changes, updates, .. anything that you did differently since your last visit. 

So fill out your client consultation form properly, this is not autofill.

Remember also that this is a written record. Neither the skin care facility nor the skin therapist can be held liable in the event that any complications may arise as a result of you NOT disclosing information you were clearly asked. 

Go ahead, kiss and tell.

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Dirty Little Secrets (Pt. 1)

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Secret closets, we all have them.

Places where we stash certain things away , perhaps thoughts, dreams, our past, and sometimes even our potential. 

Sometimes it’s best to keep certain information to ourselves, not necessarily that we don’t want anyone to know about them, but because sometimes people can’t handle the responsibility of TMI. 

Sometimes, hiding information about ourselves or our habits can be detrimental. Hiding information about our health and our skin care routines (or lack of them) from our skin therapist is one of those times. 

Why is it important to divulge your skin care and health history? you ask.

Because doing so will not only ensure that you receive the best treatment to address your specific needs, it may save your life.

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Among a host of other things, it is important for your skin therapist to know:

1. What is going on with you?

e.g. Lifestyle, stress levels, diet & nutrition, social habits, marriage, divorce, break up, moving house, migrating, you picked up smoking, you quit smoking,y you developed a drug habit, you started an exercise regimen, you’ve been overdosing on coffee etc.

Everything that you do (or don’t do) affects the health of your skin.

2. What is going on with your skin 

Challenges, both longstanding and new – sensitivities, redness, darkening, acne, dryness, oiliness, loss of skin tone – whatever is of specific concern to you.

From a consumer point of view, this is to ensure that you are getting value for your money. If you would like clearer skin but you are being treated for fine line

Also, a skin therapist sees many a client, so it is very tempting for the lazy and/ or unprofessional to go into auto-pilot and give you a ‘generic’ skin treatment.

From a skin therapist’s point of view, this ensures that you are both on the same page. 

3. What are your skin care goals?

What you would like to improve about your skin. Be as specific as possible. As with life, the more specific you are about setting your goals (i.e. following the S.M.A.R.T. rule) greater the chances of you achieving these goals. 

4. What are you currently doing to achieve those goals?

 Any medications that you’re on, any products that you are currently using, if you are on a particular diet

and if you aren’t currently doing anything

5. What action plan you are willing to follow to achieve those goals?

 A measure of much time you are willing to dedicate to achieving these goals and your level of committment.

All of the above will determine the course of action that your skin care therapist will take in an effort to work with you to get you where you want to be:

- Healthy, glowing, Sexy skin that ages well,

- Keep the oil production under wraps,

- Deal with any pigmentation issues or chronic dryness perhaps.

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Contraindications

There are some conditions where a skin therapist will not offer treatment, and therefore if you fall in any of these categories you need to say. If you don’t say, is you to ‘ketch.

These are:

1. Malignant Melanoma 

Usually associated with excessive exposure to the sun or indoor tanning

2. Cuts/ abrasions/ open wounds.

The entire area is avoided. The skin therapist may work around the area if applicable.

3. Infected Acne

Technically called “Grade 4 Acne”,  this is the highest level of acne. The skin therapist is not qualified to treat this and client should be referred to a dermatologist.

4. Herpes Simplex

Contagious and may spread from one side of the mouth (cold sore) to the other as skin treatments involve the movement of blood an lymph fluid.

5. Impetigo

Highly contagious. It is dormant in the immune system. Lack of sleep, improper eating habits or stress may cause inflammation.

This you can pass on to your skin therapist as well as other clients in the Spa. Nobody is going to like you for that.

Other Concerns

There are other conditions that aren’t considered contraindications, i.e. the skin therapist can either work around the area or may have to adjust/ customize the treatment to facilitate it. These will be discussed in part 2 of this post. 

Client Consultation

As a result it is important your skin therapist take the time to do a thorough client consultation with you before each treatment, whether you are a new client or a returning one. 

If you are a returning client, the consultation may be shorter, but you still need to let the skin therapist know of any changes, updates, .. anything that you did differently since your last visit. 

So fill out your client consultation form properly, this is not a time to rush.

Remember this is a written record. Neither the skin care facility nor the skin therapist can be held liable in the event that any complications may arise as a result of you NOT disclosing information you were clearly asked. 

Kiss and tell.

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