Do you remember? MV

The scandalous tight pants ‘n combat boots wearing, bare chested, wave noveau/ wet-n-wild weave/ microbraids donning, mascara ‘n  bandana modelling  mess that was the ‘group’ Milli Vanilli?

‘Singing’ their hearts out. Oh gorm, poor thangs. Surely they must have had at least one friend who thought this was a bad idea.

Not only do you only fool yourself when you fake, but you are never satisfied. Where is the upside again?

Cheaters never win y’all; let that be our lesson for today, as it will only result in a wickedly bedraggled, break-neck fall from grace. 

 

 

Those get ups should have been the first indication that something was not quite right in Minilliville.

Blame it on the man-leggings and panty-hose top combo I say, and leave the damn rain alone.

“Girl you know it’s (AIN’T) truuuue, ooh ooh oooohhhh….”

Oooh la la!

Okay enough. Just playin’.

I still listen to ‘their’ songs anyways.

 

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TGIF | Some morning funny.

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Some mistakes in life are easier to correct than others…

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Happy Friday!

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Joe was sharing an experience that he had the other day. He was going deep sea diving but before he even hit the water he could not help but think that all the fish had died in the ocean. 

“Should I say something?” he asked.

I mean I know what I’d do. Speak up and ship on the hell out of that piece.

But, I understand that this is a sensitive issue. That’s like having to answer your girl’s question “Does this make me look fat”. Your answer should be that either it does or doesn’t, but nothing more. Nothing about the fact that with her ‘natural’ curves she shouldn’t be wearing that, or nothing about horizontal stripes. Nothing that descriptive.

Or for example, answering your man when he asks if he’s the best that you’ve had. Tricky? Indeed. But at least whether you answer it truthfully or not you don’t have to smell it. Ew. 

The way I see it, if you choose to keep your reaction to yourself, your libido surely will speak. For some of us this is more obvious than others, isn’t it Jr.?

So I say if it’s a fling; you are never going to see this individual again and you don’t want to say anything, reach for the phone explain “Damn” you forgot something and bounce. Otherwise, keep it missionary and get it over with quickly. I wouldn’t take the time to figure out if it’s just a bad day, because as far as one night stands go you gotta bring it or you get left behind. No hard feelings. No long talking. Anything that frowses or limps on Hit-it-and-Quit-it night needs no explanation. 

But if you are in a long term relationship or are are having ‘something’ with the individual, unless you want to live through that hell for the rest of your time together, it may be best to say something. 

Now ladies and gentlemen I’m no doctor, so I can’t diagnose this, but my layman point of view would be that seeing some sort of person who specializes in that area would be a good idea, especially if it’s a condition that’s persistent.

I have absolutely nothing to back this up, but from what I’ve learnt in life, everything is correlated. Assuming that it’s not an STD, it’s possibly harmless. If it’s something that just ‘popped’ up maybe it’s :

- Diet related.
Garlic and onions maybe? I’ve also read that asparagus can bring on the funk as well. A diet rich in fruit acids like pineapple is thought to keep the smell pleasant, but as far as if this is scientifically proven I have no idea. 

- That time of the month.
Lets just say not only the personality gets thick during PMS.

Then too, if you are getting it in with your girl regularly unprotected, (*side eye* but no judgements), remember that your spunk is living matter and, like any other protein, it stinks when it starts decaying. So… it could be your fault guys.

I’ve also read that it can be possibly linked to smoking or having multiple partners. Apparently the privates no likey too much mixing and mingling between the proteins. That thought alone can bring on the frowz.

I’d say that maybe it’s a latex allergy but if it funks before you even get it in, I’d second guess that. 

Some other common things you can ensure, well common to me I guess, are:

- Wear clean undies daily. 
- Wash genitalia daily. Even if, for whatever reason, you don’t shower daily at least clean up the privates.

Ladies some particular no-nos:

– Extended wearing of thong underwear.
Two different types of bacteria going on down there, don’t want to mix them up. 

- Mystery fabric.
It just can’t breathe in lycra and other fabric that’s difficult to pronounce. Polyester underwear with spandex leggings is not a good idea. Nothing can breathe in that.

- Excessive douching.
Dries out area and removes good bacteria, or so I’ve read.

But in general, getting checked by a doctor is your best bet, even if it’s just to rule out that it’s not an STD in hiding. I mean Valentine’s Day is coming up and all, lets keep it fresh. 

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Random music quote: Alicia Keys

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” No matter how hard the task may seem
Don’t give up our plans, don’t give up our dreams
No broken bridges will turn us around
Cause what we’re searchin’ for will soon be found…” 

- Almost There, Alicia Keys

Just one more day, we’re almost there…

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Random music quote: Pitbull

“Can’t tell me nothing now… I know how to fly
“Can’t nothing hold me down, I’m going to touch the sky …”

- Shut it Down, Pitbull feat. Akon

Either they get on board, or get out of the way.

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Random music quote: Prince

” You don’t have to watch Dynasty to have an attitude…”

- Kiss, Prince

*snapz* Tell ‘em why you sexy son.

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Random music quote: Ryan Leslie

“Over the others, over my pride, cause you’re the best thing in my life….I choose you.”

- I Choose You, Ryan Leslie

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Let us choose to put our priorities first.

Make the best of what you have, when you have it.

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Random music quote: Coldplay

” Am I part of the cure, or am I part of the disease?…”

- Clocks, Coldplay

Which are you today?

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Deep Sea Fishing

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Man, there is a whole lot of nothing out there. A lot of glitz and splitz. A lot of hype and fake. So finding something, something even remotely worthy,  is definitely a challenge. And that’s when we fish within our own pond, imagine what would happen if we really venture into the vastness that is the ocean’s waters?

When you take a good look at it, there is really not much that is great out there. So we can’t exactly go with a trawler net and rake all and sundry in, only to then spend great time and effort sorting through ole’ shoe and buss up tire.

Instead, we have to fish with lure and a fishing rod and sit for long periods ‘very quietly’ in specific, chosen waters to catch and reel in what that which we desire for ourselves. After all, expecting to find wild Pacific Salmon in the dried up creek or Chilean Sea Bass in the wishing pond at the mall is the definition of insanity.

Even when something bites, we have to ensure that the catch is alive, fresh, and that it is healthy. We’ve got to sniff and closely inspect it to ensure that it is ‘Sushi Grade’ mami, other wise we either throw it back, or pass it along to our friends who have the fish-broth-for-fine-dining palette. After all, fish broth that’s a day or two old tastes best, and you don’t even need the whole fish to make it, so they will welcome broken fish. The friends that you have who like to snack on junk whole day and come meal time they’re full, but just after the kingly feast, when every thing good is cleared away, they are hungry again? Yeah those, pass it along.

People should stare at your catch, mouths agape. Envy in their eyes. Burning to ask you “OMG!!! where n da wrld did u gt that?!!!”

Then we smile coyly, cock our head to the side and graciously say “Oh just a gift *sigh of contentment*” Because of course we won’t say that were struggling and toiling in the wilderness. Oh no. No complaining.

Your partner is an extension of you and should be like an awesome accessory, like a stunning bag or fierce shoe. After all you literally wear them; they are hanging on your arm most of time. Step up your game and potential suitors will be forced to step up theirs, or lose out big time.

Then too, remember there is always the possibility of  ’spawning’ their little ones. So, for example, if a guy is just so-so now, imagine what would happen when his gene pool is diluted; there wouldn’t be much left behind for the kid, unless they ‘take after’ you.

I’m just sayin’.

So yes, pass on the not-so-fresh fish. Only put your lure out when you see something worth it.

After all no matter how great your fish is, all fish still smells a little fishy. 

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Based on a conversation with Glamma Suzii

Photo: Tom Curtis / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Random music quote: Bobby Brown

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“I don’t need permission, [I] make my own decisions. That’s my prerogative “

- My Prerogative, Bobby Brown

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Damn skippy. Tell em’ all that you can be as hot a piping mess as you wish.

Have a great Monday y’alls!

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