Posts Tagged ‘“they” lied’
5 Things NOT To Do To Your Skin this Summer.
5 of the worst things you can do to your skin during Summer.
1. Aggressive Facials
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By aggressive I mean any treatments that involve advanced exfoliation techniques, or includes terms such as chemical peels or microdermabrasion.
Also any facial procedures involving invasive techniques – cosmetic surgeries, nips, lifts, tucks – anything that pierces the face, should also be put off until the fall or winter, unless you would be recuperating in some retreat, indoors and far, far away from the hustle of life in the fast lane where the rest of us will be. If you would be at such a retreat, gwaan on along with your treatment and please do us all a favour and, like a good friend, not mention how ‘ super awesome’ it was.
Exposure to UV rays already increases skin’s sensitivity. No need to make this sensitivity worse by dousing your face in glycolic acid. This combination can result in your worse nightmare, including, but not limited to blisters, darkening of skin areas and disfigurement.
2. Skipping moisturizer
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Typically most skin types are more oily during the summer months. Those of us with naturally oily/ acne prone skin tend to forgo moisturizer altogether, thinking that this excess oil means that the skin moisturizes itself on it’s own. Increased oil production is usually a sign of dehydration, therefore it is important to replenish water levels in skin by increasing the amount of water you drink yes, but it’s said that only something like 10% of the water we drink actually make it to the skin. This is not something that you can quote me on, but considering that most of us barely pass the 2-glass mark daily for water, anything less than 115% absorption of this water we drink is cause for concern.
Therefore, applying a water-based, oil free moisturizer can help replenish the water levels in the skin. These types of moisturizers usually are labeled as such, may be referred to as a ‘gel’ or ‘fluid’ moisturizer and usually list ‘Water’ as the first ingredient.
Stay clear of anything that is labeled a ‘cream’, passes the ‘Dairy Queen’ test (you can turn the opened jar upside down and the contents not fall out), or contains mineral oil (or any such oil) in it’s ingredient listing.
3. Showering less
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“So many fun things to do, so little time!”
No papi. Not so fast.
It’s summer. It’s warm, and it’s humid. Bacteria are in love. They breed, and they multiply, which inevitably results in an odour. YOUR odour, aka B.O.
Hygiene in general needs to be thrown into high gear, and on autopilot. Automatic. Noone wants to out more fires than necessary at the BBQ lime.
Let’s remember the Summer watchwords – Shower & Shave.
4. Not exfoliating
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Closely related to #3, exfoliation of the body helps to remove excess oil buildup that may occur during the day. It helps skin to breathe, look instantly refreshed and ‘glow’, as manually exfoliating the body increases blood circulation.
You can cop one of those kazillion commercial body scrubs on the market and and get it on in the shower. However, I find most of them oily, and hardly worth their cost as most contain very little exfoliating ingredients.
Alternatives?
Dry brush your skin using a dry body brush before you shower, brushing in strokes that lead toward your heart (the direction in which your blood flows). I’ve read that dry brushing, among many other benefits such as shedding dead skin cells, rejuvenating the nervous system and assisting in lymphatic cleansing to name a few, also assists with decreasing the appearance of cellulite… could be as good a reason as any to try it I’d say. Hey, I’ve done more for the promise of far less.
I find dry brushing more effective than brushing your skin in the shower (wet brushing I presume, though this term makes me feel like I need handcuffs), as the bristles of the brushes, shown to the left, get softer in the shower.
I prefer my massage-pressure firm though, so if you are more of a light-pressure person, perhaps an in-shower brush-exfoliation may work. I do this twice a day – morning and evening.
For good measure, once a week I also do a body scrub, using a combination of cornmeal, honey and, for some slip, a bit of whatever body wash I’m using at the time. Sometimes I just use ground coffee beans and body wash. Whatever is convenient. For more on body exfoliation see Smooth Criminal.
5. Not using sunscreen
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To my melanin-challenged folks, we aren’t all skin-kissed, bronze goddesses, I get that. But that is no reason to opt to play Cancer Roulette. Besides, sun-burns aren’t sexy, no matter what reality TV says. If wanting a tan is your reason to ride the sun-wave buck nekked, get a sun-less tan. There are tons on the market. I’m familiar with the brand Fake Bake – it’s fairly easy to use, it’s sold where I work, doesn’t leave you looking like like you belong on the Jersey Shore cast, and so this particular brand comes to mind, but there are many other brands. Try that route.
For those of us who are doing backstrokes in the melanin pond, don’t believe the hype that “Black Don’t Crack”. Not only can it crack, it can get mad spotty and unslightly – dark spots, light spots, uneven skin tone – you name it. Skin damage is not known to discriminate.
Be responsible with your skin, and, for wrinkles sake, use sunscreen.
Party on!
b FiercelyFabulous
Documentary | “Food Matters”
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“You are what you eat”
We hear this time and time again, but what, if anything does it really mean to us.
Came across a documentary, Food Matters, which goes into some fair depth (it’s 77 minutes long!) and gives some insight into the relationship between nutrition, health and our relationship with food here in the western world.
Among other things, the documentary also looks at:
1. Our [western] society’s “Taking a pill to cure an ill” approach and it’s obsession with use of drugs.
2. Methods of cleansing the body and the concept that “Food can affect your mood”
3. Cancer and the war against it – how it works and the ability of the human body to fight it… or not.
4. “Education” vs. “Medication”
5. “Superfood” diets – The argument foroOrganic, plant based, and raw foods
I’ll admit, it does come across a bit “The Secret”-ish in the way it is presented, BUT it does highlight important points -
1. Why is it that most of us pay more attention to what we wear than what we eat and
2. That a healthy diet is an important component to us feeling our best and achieving happiness.
See direct link to documentary here.
What are your thoughts?
b Freakin’Fabulous
Photo: Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Parabens and YOU
Parabens. Parabens. Parabens.
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I’ve just cursed you in skincare language – 3 times too. Ha!
Parabens have received a pretty bad rep in skincare recently, resulting in large part from a UK study back in 2004 that looked at paraben-containing deoderant and it’s relation to breast cancer.
But before we get into that…”I know they are bad but…”
What ARE Parabens?
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Parabens are preservatives that are commonly used in the cosmetic, pharmaceutical and food industry to guard against bacterial and fungal activity, and prevent the growth of other possible organisms such as mold and yeast. They are widely used because they have been found to have the least ability to sensitize (cause redness and irritation, among other reactions) the skin in preparations that are left on the skin.
Parabens are easily identifiable as they would normally contain the word ‘paraben’, as in methylparaben, ethylparaben, etc.
Why use preservatives cosmetics?
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Well… let’s think about it for a second.
Take your everyday skincare cosmetics – Your cleanser. Your toner. Your moisturizer. – Chances are water is listed somewhere on the ingredient list.
This would be the case unless of course you are using something that contains no water at all, like 100% of an oil based substance – 100% Shea Butter for example, or perhaps loose powder (or ‘baby’ powder) which is basically 100% talc – no water present. We’re not talking about these. No water means no disease carrying organisms to worry about.
Think about mixing a concoction of different (edible) ingredients from your kitchen with water in a container, covering it and putting it away on a shelf. Then think about opening this container 12-24 months later. Would you drink the mixture? If not why not?
Cause it will be wrenk that’s why. Eww.
Bacteria and fungi have a field day and multiply in water (with the presence of oxygen), unless there is something, in this case some ingredient present that inhibits it’s growth.
The same concept applies regarding water-based skincare cosmetics – basically different ingredients suspended in water.
Therefore, it is important to use a preservative(s) in these cosmetics when it is required that they remain safe for use after sitting on a shelf in a store, on your dresser or worse – under the face-basin in your bathroom for a year… or two.
Okay… But what’s the deal?
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So back to the initial sentance, the real jibber-jabber with parabens came around 2004 when a UK-based study looked at the use of parabens in deoderants, and it’s connection to the development of breast cancer.
The Issue: Parabens have been shown to have estrogen-like qualities and they’ve also been shown to be absorbed into the body when applied topically, hence begging the question – Are they somehow cancer causing?
Studies and tests have shown that:
1. The estrogenic effects of parabens are thousands times lower than the most estrogenic compound in the body and that
2. Once they enter the body, parabens are incapable of imitating estrogen. The U.S Food & Drug Administration [FDA] has also stated:
“FDA is aware that estrogen activity in the body is associated with certain forms of breast cancer. Although parabens can act similarly to estrogen, they have been shown to have must less estrogenic activity than the body’s naturally occuring estrogen.”
Moreover, the Milady’s Skin Care and Cosmetic Ingredient’s Dictionary indicates that plant substances including but not limited to soybeans, strawberries, sage, dong quai, pumpkin, red clover and rosehips are considered to have natural estrogenic effects 1000 to 1,000,000 times stronger than parabens.
Righto. I type this as I inhale a bowl of fresh strawberries I just copped for 99c a carton.
So with no solid proof that parabens are related to [breast] cancer then…
Why the controversy?
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Who really knows?
There’s not nearly as much fuss over the use of tanning beds and its relation to skin cancer, and it can be argued that the case is much stronger for that link.
Perhaps, as with most other skin care myths, it’s just a marketing strategy, which means that the ‘controversy’ is being fueled by the skin care manufacturers – Those who have replaced the use of parabens in the skin care cosmetics with some other preservative, never mind they don’t state exactly what that preservative is, other than stating “Paraben Free” on the label.
Given that parabens were shown to be the least sensitizing, could it be that the replacement preservative(s) is/ are more sensitizing/ dangerous than the use of parabens?
Or perhaps, I don’t know, the replacement preservative used is less effective than parabens and therefore puts the user/ user’s skin at more risk if the product is either used past it’s safe-by date (which usually goes unchecked), or after having endured unfavourable conditions, like being out in the sun for example.
I can ponder forever.
Definitely something to think about while you sip your overpriced soy latte after making a trip to the local tanning salon.
Just sayin’.
b Freakin’Fabulous
It’s Official | Look Like Your Ex for $69.50
The madness is now official.
Meet the Levi’s “Ex-Girlfriend Jeans”
Product Description:
“Remember the girlfriend with the great style? Here’s a tribute to her — a fit that’s super-snug allover, an update of the five-pocket classic that’s as skinny as it gets. Made with plenty of stretch.”
Shown in Mask and available at a Levis Store near you.
Or if you really can’t wait, shop here.
Why do I feel a burning desire to tag this under “skin damage”?
Perhaps, the reason she left you was because you kept taking her isht?
Food for thought.
b Freakin’Fabulous
Dodging Fashion Roadkill | The Maxi Dress
S2011 | Micheal Kors
As long as there are women, there will always be the Maxi dress. Designers must find this fact annoying because, perhaps in an effort to relieve their boredom, they’ve decided to inject different textures and structures into this spring/ summer staple. The possible result? An epic miss, with some of the most unflattering combinations known to man… or in this case, woman.
The word “Maxi”, as it applies to a dress (or skirt), refers to either length (usually floor grazing) or fullness (voluminous) – either way there is a whole lot of fabric. The goal of a Maxi dress is to create the illusion of easy sophistication, but this punchline can easily get muddled when designers run with such wild abandon in the park of imagination, that they miss the mark totally.
Most of trends for this Spring/ Summer 2011 (S2011) may be seen somewhere on a Maxi Dress near you. Beware of the pitfalls.
1. The See-Through-Maxi
S2011 Trend: Lace/ See-through Fabrics
S2011 | Giorgio Armani
The issue: Visible underwear, isn’t Sexy. [Visibly] going without underwear, tramp style, is worse. No-one is interested in seeing your ‘titillating’ ‘assets’. This dress will flatter noone with an ounce of flesh. Much more than the sheer fabric will be… bouncing… in the wind.
S2011 | Givenchy
The solution: Go sheer without going bare. Printed sheer materials can offer less translucency that plain coloured ones. Also, well placed detailing can detract, or conceal, areas of perverted interest. Depending on the dress, you can wear a (modern) slip.
2. The Bright, Boxy, Structured, Maxi
S2011 Trend: Bold Colours/ Menswear/ Suits
S2011 | Jill Saunders
The issue: Your waist called. He misses you.
May be laid back, but this look is definitely not sexy. All that’s missing here are the potatoes, which is ironic because that’s probably the last thing that’s available on that menu.
Proportions. Proportions. Proportions. An hourglass shape, or the illusion of one, is the key to classic style. Also,tThe overly structured look of this dress defeats the purpose of a Maxi dress.
S2011 | Lanvin
The solution: The bold colour rocks. Keep the structure to an asymmetrical neckline and a belted waist.
3. The Retro Maxi
S2011 Trend: Retro/ 60s Ladylike/ Red carpet glam
S2011 | Vivienne Westwood
The issue: More like 60s/ Ladylike Prom, and looks like the dress equivalent to helmet head – Untouchable.
S2011 | Lanvin
The solution: Switch up the fabric. Interpret the retro ladylike, rather than raid your mother/ grandmother’s closet. Similar silhouette, different reaction.
4. The Graphic Maxi (I)
S2011 Trend: Floral Prints
S2011 | Jill Saunders
The issue: Large prints, like this floral overwhelms petite frames. The dress’s voluminous nature around the waist area also does not complement a woman’s figure.
S2011 | Marc Jacobs
The solution: Choose a floral print that is proportional to your size – larger frames are better able to carry larger prints. Add interest to a floor grazing floral number with a contrasting detail in a complementary colour at the waist. Peek-a-boo skin, unveiled through a v-neck, gives balance to a potentially, visually dizzying number.
5. The Graphic Maxi (II)
S211 Trend: Bold Colours/ Geometric Prints/ Asymmetrical hems
S2011 | Vivienne Westwood
The Issue: An effort is made to highlight the waist with a twist-tie, but the over-sized vertical stripes + no structure + peculiar dress length + bold colours+ excess fabric = Please Stop. My head hurts.
S2011 | Marc Jacobs
The solution: One voice at a time. Keep silhouettes, to dresses in busy fabrics, simple. The ruching detail in the right places breaks the monotony, and gives a flattering look to even the no-no horizontal stripe rule.
6. The White Maxi
S2011 Trend: All White/ Minimal/ 60s Ladylike
S2011 | Chloé
The issue: The abundance of fabric on the top half, in white no less, coupled with a gathered waist would make for an excessively commodious, unflattering look on most humans.
S2011 | Chloé
S2011 | Chloé
The solution: A wrap dress, or one that mimics it, is universally flattering, even in white, as it breaks up the details, as well as highlights the natural waist.
Tip: A V-neck works better than a round neck for fuller and/ or curvier figures.
7. The Unfinished Maxi
S2011 Trend: Asymmetrical Hems / Metallic/ Sheer/ Unfinished Detailing
S2011 | Vivienne Westwood
The issue: The first issue is the trend itself – Unfinished garments. Unhemmed garments, unclipped trimmings. A frayed, fuzzy look with thread dangling everywhere. Why? I’ll file this in the juvenile section, right next to destructed jeans.
More than the hems, the statement is undone in this crinkly, scratchy, bed-head looking kit, the draping of which also makes for an unflattering profile. Besides, if you are going to tote all of this fabric, and still have a peep show, why not just don a fitted, loosely crocheted dress instead? Oh yeah, that’s also a don’t.
S2011 | Micheal Kors
The solution: Just because the fabric has a metallic finish, doesn’t mean it has to look like it will cut you. Switching up the fabric to a touchable knit, (one that is also less sheer), and tightening the silhouette a touch, gives the still-asymmetrical look an easy-going, figure-enhancing flow. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
8. The Body Concious Maxi
S2011 Trend: Body Concious/ White/ Lace/ Sheer Fabrics
S2011 | Emilio Pucci
The issue: The combination of the above trend may make for a body conscious, but not a body flattering combo. Perhaps this would be better worn as resort wear, in the form of a beach cover-up.
S2011 | Emilio Pucci
The solution: Emphasize your curves in one trend. Either in lace/ sheer fabrics OR a body hugging silhouette.
OTHER USEFUL TIPS
1. DO give unexpected skin via a high slit or an asymmetrical hemline to give overly voluminous , or excessively lengthy dresses a modern edge, as Emilio Pucci does here.
S2011 | Emilio Pucci
S2011 | Emilio Pucci
2. DO play with the Military trend with ‘sober’ colour choices – e.g. olive green, navy, combined with subtle masculine detailing.
S2011 | Lanvin
Whoever said that Power can only be unleashed in a pant suit must have never experienced the Power of a Maxi.
b Freakin’Fabulous
Dodging the Office Party Pitfalls
The Christmas Party. Or, if you work for one of those politically correct companies, the “Holiday” Party.
Obviously, you ought to go. This goes without saying.
Sure, you may be antisocial, you may despise your co-workers or you may rather count sheep than live though a convo with Frank from accounting, but it will do your career more harm than good if you just skip the shindig altogether. Why? Because not showing up for an office related event – be it a party, family day or someone’s horrid excuse for a ‘team building’ exercise – gives the impression that you aren’t interested in the company or your future there.
Now regarding any work related events, there are two things to always keep in mind:
- No matter how far away from the office the venue is, remember that it’s still a work function.
- Regardless how convincing the higher-ups seem to be about oh how it’s a time for everyone to kick off their shoes and let down their hair and just have a great time…. They’re lying.
The following are my top 8 things to avoid doing at your office party
8. One-upping your boss
You may be stronger/ faster/ better but keep that info to yourself.
This is not the time to speak about your stint in Milan as a model after being scouted in your first year in university when your boss responds to one of your co-worker’s brown-nosing comments about him looking dapper. Neither is this the time to share the fact that you and your fiance are heading to the Megeve Ski Resort in response to the fact that your boss’s “lean Christmas” is resulting in him opting for a staycation with his cat. And it’s definitely not the time to bring up the fact that you were the brains behind the newly implemented program that is has saved the company Xmillie amount of moolah this year.
Some other don’ts in this category:
- Don’t harp about how wonderful or wonderfully annoying your significant other is is – no-one, not limited to you boss, cares.
- Don’t start a chugging or eating contest… or any contest for that matter.
- Don’t brown-nose and/ or talk too much shop
If you are in line for a promotion, be sure to perhaps get your boss away from the melee for a minute and speak briefly on some of the ideas you have to implement strategies relating to a major upcoming project. Of course this should be done fairly early and pre-scotch, i.e. before the convo ends up going south a-la #5 below.
- And at all costs, don’t do…
7. The Elaine dance
A definite fail.
If you don’t know what this is, chances are you’ve already done it. Because it’s impossible to describe, here’s a video clip:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2cz0i
Under this we can include throwing down to any song that is decidedly inappropriate for the occasion. For example, displaying your best moves to Akon and Eminem’s “Smack That” and proclaming
“Man, this is my jaaaayyym!”
That may quite possibly be the last Holiday party the company will see both you and the DJ.
6. Hook up with a co-worker in the bathroom
Especially if you didn’t the the object of your urinal fling was all that and a bag of chips the day before, and/ or the person is more into you than you are into them. There will never be a good end to this scenario.
5. Have an ‘off-the-record’ convo with your boss after having had 2 shots of Patron
Though you may not remember the convo, chances are s/he will, and there will most definitely be an “on-the-record” convo about it the morning after.
Under this we will include ‘smackin’ your boss’ @ss to aforementioned song, or smacking anyone for that matter lest a sexual harassment case slaps yours.
4. Bring your 2-minute old significant other to the party.
Though it may seem like a good idea at the time, this here can auger like a ticking time-bomb. You have no idea what to expect in the moment and chances are you’d either have to babysit the entire night, or have to deal with managing the after effects of him/ her displaying any of the above.
Although there are varying views regarding this, I’d go out on a limb here and say that unless you’re any combination of an executive/ married/ in line for a promotion and/ or/ therefore wish to avoid any compromising positions with that being from marketing who’s been getting a touch to friendly recently, keep business and personal private and leave your spouse out of it.
For those of us who flirt and/ or have lunch time DOOs with (a) co-worker(s), do your colleagues a favour and leave your ‘significant other’/ spouse home will ‘ya? Office parties are awkward enough, no need to bring the drama that will undoubtedly ensue.
3. Being the last one to leave.
Sure, you don’t get out often because of your work/ home responsibilities. And of course you wish to make the most of the $40 you paid the baby sitter to keep the kids overnight, but under no circumstance should you party the night away at your office shindig.
Show up on time [fashionably late never applies to work-related events] nurse a drink in one hand and make it across the room taking pit-stops at key points to ensure that your presence is noted. Then, just when the ties and the jackets start coming off, exit stage left and meet up with your real friends.
2. Calling in sick the day after because of your hangover
This is one of the biggest corporate no-nos. NEVER call in sick the day after:
- A company hosted event,
- A public holiday, or
- Your vacay.
I suppose the only thing worse would be being awakened by a tap on your shoulder by your boss… in your office, with your party hat on.
Find out what your company policy is on being hungover, being late – or not showing up at all – the day after the Holiday party. For most companies, it’s business as usual, no excuses.
1. Which all lead to the greatest office Holiday party DON’T ever:
Don’t get drunk.
Please enjoy responsibly.
Freakin’Fabulous
Related post: Office Party Ettiquette
If you do one thing for the Holidays…
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There are two types of people in this world. Those who fuss about the holidays, and those who don’t.
You know, the ones who stress themselves out about what everyone else will think, only to stress and bicker some more that the people who they were fretting for didn’t give a rat’s behind. Then there are those who live on the flip-side of this planet – the ones who don’t so much as buy a card for nobody, including moms.
If you do one thing to prepare for the holiday season, DETOX. Physically and mentally.
The festive season is usually a time of great excess, so prepare yourself for it in order that you don’t overindulge, over do, and over be, only to then be pressured into setting unrealistic goals for yourself. Goals of which you do not express loudly of course, because, nowadays, telling people that you’ve set ‘New Years resolutions’ for yourself is soooooo last decade. *Goooooosh*.
It’s all about the winging it, innit? Forget the goal setting, just freestyle the next 365 days of your life. Brilliant!
I digress.
The Holiday Season.
Excessive food.
Excessive conversation.
Excessive drinking.
Excessive spending.
Excessive skin teet.
Prepare your body and mind for it. Eliminate the the current build up of toxins, before you open up and indulge in new ones, so that come 01022011, you don’t feel chock full of bile and regret. Allow yourself enough psychological and physicial space to properly deal with excesses drama that don’t belong to you; the stuff that messes with your zen and makes your year start off with a *Pfffft* rather than a *How you like DEM apples!” kinda thing.
And while you are detoxing yourself, why not clean up your environment?
Schedule a Fall cleaning.
Declutter your space and make room for everything that you will and hope to receive in the new year.
SORT OUT YOUR *ISH.
Give the lightly used, clothing or otherwise, to charity, to someone you know, or to a family in need. For some of us, the unused stuff that you got on clearance because it was a ‘deal’, and paid no mind to the fact that it neither fits, nor compliments your shape nor anything else in your closet for that matter, also qualifies. Let’s face it, if you haven’t used it in a year, worse if you live in a climate that does NOT change for the entire year, then chances are you aren’t using it for a reason.
“Fabulous” fits and flatters. “Unfabulous” doesn’t.
Do yourself and the public at large a favour and give unfab away. Freely.
And while we’re getting busy with it…volunteer.
So you can’t buy something for everyone that you know is in need, but you can give of your time, your energy or perhaps of your experience. It is said the the less time that you spend focusing on yourself, the more you appreciate what and those that you have, especially when you spent your time with people who are less fortunate than you are.
Theory of relativity.
That’s like me stressing out yesterday about having lost my son’s bag, and his entire ‘LIFE’ along with it on the subway.
Stressful? Sure. I guess someone got an early Christmas. But when I think about the fact that I could have lost him???… well, losing a fun-filled knapsack ain’t so bad in the grand scheme of things. Go ahead and enjoy.
b Freakin’Fabulous.
Photo credits: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
That’s the Spirit
If I’ve ever had a doubt about my ability to make lemon martinis, well not anymore!
Call me a bartender.
Being doused in freshly squeezed, premium lime does burn a little, hell a lot, but it sure does clean you up well. *Sparkel*
Lemon juice gets rid of all the dirt and grime, the excess layers, and magnificently leaves a shine in areas that were over scuffed.
2010 is soon coming to a close. For most of us its a happy time of year. People generally have, at least, decent moods, companies give away food and booze, and you get to see your boss behaving in ways you’d never imagine, which of course ensures that your job is secure for at least another year. Guilt is a hell of a thing.
Living in Canada, I get to celebrate Thanksgiving twice. The first time, when Canada celebrates it, and then another when the ‘rest of the world’ , or so the US believes, celebrates it.
- More food.
- More good times
- More shopping sure, but more importantly,
more time to reflect on why I ought to be thankful, and, despite however I may feel during what can seem to be an incalculable amount of ceiling-mounted, fire-blazing hoops, why I am truly blessed.
Blessed beyond measure.
Then, on the heels of Thanksgiving, comes the jolly old Ho.
Well, the Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho-liday Season. A time where kids believe and receive; something that we often seem to lose as ‘adults’ because, oh…
“Santa isn’t real”
Some of us can be such party poppers. What IS real?
My perception, IS my reality. Party poop that.
After all, isn’t that what ‘Santa’ is really about? ….Believing?
It’s not about being able to circle the globe in one night, Stupid. We all got over that decades ago. It’s not about religion or politics, or about who got the best present, who’s sucked, and who got none at all, because we all get presents.
We get presents everyday. We get the gift of opportunity; the opportunity to create or squander, to live and learn or to mentally and emotionally succumb to our thought processes.
“Santa” is about the spirit of happiness; that of thankfulness; that of believing.
The selfless act of giving and receiving, of sharing fun times with family and friends, and learning how best to endure those members of your family, who, at some point in your life you’ve secretly prayed to, one day, not be related to – not in public at any rate.
I believe in Santa. Party Poop that.
Know that you will never receive anything unless you believe. Not happiness, not material gain, not friends (outside of the electric friend generator) and definitely not presents.
So yeah, I’m reflecting a bit early this year. Hell, this year was so special I was reflecting since March.
Reflecting on what I’ve achieved this past year, how my plans have panned out or not, the wagons that I jumped on and those that i was violently thrown off. Reflecting on the experiences that I enjoyed, but would never in life do again. On the goals that I’ve attained and the ones that no longer fit into my life script. Giving thought to those individuals who I have had the privilege to meet – those who have helped me unveil a landscape that I’ve neither seen nor experienced before, and who I’ve been sanctified to finally depart ways from.
Hallelujah and Amen.
Departure from what was once good, but has over time become rancid and toxic is good all the time, and all the time it is good. It’s like a fantastically yummy nugget of self-renewal; a guilty pleasure. The euphoria associated with finally being able to put down that knapsack full of porous, limestone rock that you’ve been carrying around on your shoulder blade for a minute, only to discover that you never, ever in life have to pick it up again.
Relief!
There’s some good to grating a barrel of limes after all. For in the end, no matter how haphazardly things are thrown in the air, all must fall and settle on the ground once again. I am most appreciative of the fact that no sharp objects collided with me on the way down.
There’s lots to be thankful for in this life.
I am thankful for my lemons; all of them, for it is because of them I know who I am.
Pieces.
be Freakin’Fabulous
I Dream of California King
.
When I first came to GC, one of the things I mentioned is that I was looking to make a move out from the parental home. Well y’all, as my American cousins would say, this thing called apartment hunting in this island just plain sucks!
First of all, everyone is asking for rent in US dollars.
What de A-double snakes is that! I live on an island and work for island dollars.
US dollars you say? Where do I begin?
I guess from the beginning.
I hooked up with a real estate friend of mine. She is a sweet thing; a mother of two grown kids who still live with her, so she is confused as to why I want to rent. After I explained my need to have my own space, turn my own key and have my own kitchen (my most fervent desire), she nodded and we opened the conversation and the search for Island Girl’s new ‘Island’.
When I told her my budget, she almost fainted from laughter, but said she would try and find some decent places. I have a few demands. One or two bedrooms, clean, safe, preferably furnished, preferably northwest. So my informal ‘real estate’ agent got together a few properties and our month-long adventure began. We saw about eight places. Four stood out to me. Indulge me.
Property One:
.
Before we viewed, she let me know that property one was not all to spec – a fixer-upper of sorts. I followed her to Prop One. Jesus Christ! The moment I saw the warped kitchen counters I wanted to cry. Iron furniture that clearly dated back to that time devoid of some style, aka the seventies, was styling in the kitchen. The cupboards needed a lot of work. I could hear the termites planning the three-course dinner.
As we moved to the cubbyhole, sorry, the bedroom, I was ready to run. The bathroom…there is nothing to say but hell no! Anyone who knows me can tell you my face is an open book. You can read my hurt, my anger, my joy and my disgust! She read the latter. She quickly ushered me out of the apartment and we were off again. It was in my budget though. My heart sank.
Property Four:
.
Properties Two and Three were okay, locations sucked though. She called to tell me Prop Four was a bit beyond the budget, but it was negotiable. Beautiful view, access to a swimming pool, new furnishings, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a garden, a gated community. Can we say excited? I watched the clock tick that day at work and at four on the dot – I was out the door.
The drive up was full of promise and hope. It did not disappoint, initially. Beautiful. well-appointed rooms, stainless steel appliances, granite countertops; from heaven. The master bedroom – can we say – a view of the pool. I could not ask for more. I was frothing from the mouth by the time I saw the bathroom, all white and shiny! And then, the rug was pulled out from under me. Negotiable price out the door. A lot of people are looking at this and are willing to pay more! The tears were in my eyes as I was led out from what could have possibly been my dream apartment.
Property Six:
.
Property Five was okay, but the bug ambling along the kitchen counter caught my attention before the owner could sweep him away. I made a tack back to the car while my lady dealt with the owner. So Property Six came along. A guy working in New York was renting and he had it in the newspaper. I decided to contact him.
Sounded decent, one bedroom studio in the right area. He sounded excited too! Told me he would have his uncle take pictures so I could see it and then I could come up and take a closer look. Sure! Fine! Great! Oh boy.
What came to me was, well to put it nicely, was, well… not what I was looking for. Dark panelling facing a wall painted with a mermaid – yes that is what I said. A bathroom that looked like a relic of the seventies (what is it with seventies?) It was just not what I was looking for.
So I kindly noted to the owner that it was much more masculine than I had anticipated and wished him luck in finding a tenant. What happened next was surprising. The man sent me an email, in caps, telling me essentially why did I bother to waste his time,
” …A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN THE PLACE!”
“Excuse me!” I wanted to write back, but I just lost his email and thought, okay, classifieds, not for me!
Property Eight:
.
Property Seven was interesting. Drove along the longest road ever, looking for the apartments. Saw a lot of young men hanging out at the corner, pants below bottom, CKs out, and the requisite gold teeth. The smell of reefer hit me like a whammy! Hell no.
My lady told me that Property Eight was well out of my budget, but she wanted me to see it. Boy did I see it. Gorgeous, beautiful. Rent quoted in US of course. Kitchen out of Home and Gardens. I was drooling, touching the appliances with a reverence one usually reserves for Saints. She told me to lay on the California King bed. Oh God! I was in having a mini org by that time. Real estate heaven! The owners were in Azerbijan or Uzbekistan or one of those. The pool glistening, the birds in the garden singing. I saw me and ‘my guy’ having breakfast in the nook. I saw us swimming in the pool, enjoying the pleasures of a sunken bubble bath together.
The boom of thunder awakened me. No way! Not right now! My lady telling me I needed to get a man to pay for all this. Why does it always have to come back to that! I left depressed on a rainy Sunday.
Will I ever be able to move? Will I find anything? People are telling me get a starter. It does not have to be a dream. I know, logically I know this. But that dream I had of awakening on a Sunday morning and rolling on my California King and connecting with a warm body; breakfast in the nook, nookie in the nook…I am so frustrated! I should have never gone to that apartment.
But my lady continues. She has a new crop of things for me to see come November. So I take my California King fantasy with a dose of reality and will begin the search again.
Real estate is a ridiculous business. I am hearing things are going to go down soon. Crossing fingers, toes, eyes and hairs! I know I have to move out. And I know there is some place out there for me. I guess I just have to keep searching.
But for now….on to other things!
Dominatrix and Dollar Store Hooker Steez
Boo.
Two blinks and it’s halloween y’alls. That special time of the year where people who don’t have the “good fortune”, (whatever it takes, be it finances, circumstances, or just plain “no-clue”) to experience Trinidad Carnival, a celebration that’s dubbed the greatest show on earth, “let loose” and let their fantasies flow.
Now… some fantasies should be lived out and some should just be imagined. Really.
Issue at hand
Choosing a costume.
As usual, guys are normally covered, pun intended. Their costumes tend to be funny, original, thought provoking and even if it’s boring its usually, just that… “boring”. Not “obscene” or cause grievous visual harm to the casual unlooker.
My fellow X-X chromosomes? Wow. Another story altogether.
Ladies, let’s try to keep it together this rounds okay?.
For starters, not everyone was meant to be a Dominatrix or French Maid. Or better fete, a whore. At least we aren’t meant to walk the streets in that get up. If you have bills to pay sure, I’m not judging, but I’m saying. To walk around looking cheap[er] than you already are just for kicks and giggles? I mean, really. What’s the motivation?
I’ve overheard acquaintances and frenemies alike speak of their costumes and it just sounded like a broken record. Granted I’ve never really done the Halloween partying thing though, so .. maybe you have to be there to understand the appeal of going out of your way to just look like the cheapest, trashiest, hooker on a dime, but… I don’t get it. I understand that we’re going for the ‘Sexy‘ look, but ‘Sexy‘ and ‘Cheap‘ aren’t synonyms yo. I never, ever get it, but then again, I’m never, ever in the majority.
The dollar store isn’t a destination my lovelies.
One or two picks from there but not head to toe.
“Goooooooosh” (furnished with a Hills accent).
How about Grecian Goddess?
Sounds like a stretch I know. But is it? Not as half as trashy looking and a kazillion times more attractive than a dollar store ‘hoe. Even better, any size can organize a lil sum’n sum’n and look on point in that.
Real life or fantasy, never underestimate the power of dressing your size, and your ambition. That never goes out of style. Just because you’re a closet freak does it mean that you have to put your alter-ego on display come October’s end. Because guess what? You’ll no longer be a closest freak, you’ll just be a cheap trick in denial the morning after.
The draped fabrics. long or mini. Your choice. Leather bands with the feathers in the hair. Drop waist beaded dresses with the sequined head bands a la the early 20s singers. A long cigarette holder in your hand with a long glove, and a beautiful fan in the other.
Create the fantasy dammit. Drag it on. Get fabulously chic.
We’re grown for Goodness sake. Not much of a longing fantasy is created with a dominatrix costume.
If you need to parade in high heels and a dress with your butt cheeks and mammaries hanging out to feel sexy, then that’s sends a blinding red-light to signal that you just might have some deep, deep rooted issues which altogether spell ‘I-N-S-E-C-U-R-E’ and ‘D-R-A-M-A-_-R-I-D-D-L-E-D’. Either that or your play-date life isn’t as half as exciting as you’d like everyone to believe that it is. Either way your business, just like your mammaries, is in the road.
As I was discussing with one of my man friends the other day, the biggest freaks in the party will never be seen dancing on the club tables.
Underglow freaks ahead; Keep the pilot light on.
We know our moves. We ain’t got *ish to prove, cause trust that everyone who’s experienced it ain’t complainin’. That’s half the reason why our business isn’t in the damn road cause nobody want to mess THAT link up. No advertisement necessary. The right people know exactly where to find it. Hellleeeeer!
So get it right.
Dressing like a $2 hooker only makes you look like a freebie. Halloween or no Halloween.
Get Grown. Stay Sexy.
b Freakin’Fabulous
Photo: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net